The TV Villains/
- November 24, 2020
Tully has special guest, Abbie Chatfield on the show and they cover what it’s like to be the TV villain, the repercussions of that and their unfortunate habit of falling in love with narcissists.
On today’s episode:
- Abbie Chatfield joins the show
- Being the TV villain
- Bullying on social media
- Falling in love with narcissists
- Abbie’s crush on Tully
You can find more on Abbie on her IG @abbiechatfield and listen to her podcast, It’s A Lot here: https://podcasts.apple.com/au/podcast/its-a-lot-with-abbie-chatfield/id1500849438
This podcast is produced by BIG MEDIA COMPANY.
Abbie Chatfield: [00:00:00] Hello, and welcome to
Tully Smyth: [00:00:02] episode 19 of too much Tali on today's episode, we have it filler
Abbie Chatfield: [00:00:06] X reality TV,
Tully Smyth: [00:00:07] contestant
Abbie Chatfield: [00:00:08] podcast, host fierce,
Tully Smyth: [00:00:10] feminist and whap, extraordinary Abby Chatfield.
Abbie Chatfield: [00:00:13] We cover what it's like to
Tully Smyth: [00:00:14] be the TV villain through precautions of that. And now unfortunate habit of falling in love with narcissist, just as heroes always.
Okay. Right. Just before we go any further on today's episode, I think it's vital. That way, discuss the fact that, uh, this way you've met my ex-boyfriend. Yes. How did that go down for you? Was he everything you ever dreamed of and more nervous laughing right now because I'm in the room anymore because it's so
Abbie Chatfield: [00:00:40] good down awkward.
Cause he was, I'm sorry to say
Tully Smyth: [00:00:44] he was my friend. Yeah. And uh, I mean, just being in the room with YouTube, cause obviously as
Abbie Chatfield: [00:00:49] we own our, I followed Raleigh when you guys were on TV and
Tully Smyth: [00:00:52] it was just bizarre
Abbie Chatfield: [00:00:53] having you guys talk,
Tully Smyth: [00:00:54] having your first conversation together
Abbie Chatfield: [00:00:57] and then
Tully Smyth: [00:00:57] me asking the questions and being in the same room, it
Abbie Chatfield: [00:01:00] was just.
Tully Smyth: [00:01:00] A really surreal experience for you, Hannah, you got quite flustered there. I wasn't. But we had to almost have a break for you to collect yourself
Abbie Chatfield: [00:01:08] giggly, like a school girl.
Tully Smyth: [00:01:10] The gin did too. Yeah, we did have a lot of Jen too fair, too much gin, never such thing as too much. Anything. That's true. Um, do you, was it, do you think that there was like chemistry between him and I like was there like some kind of spark?
Abbie Chatfield: [00:01:24] Yeah, I bet. I mean,
Tully Smyth: [00:01:26] You'll
Abbie Chatfield: [00:01:26] start charismatic anyway, that there's always a buddy spark in the room
Tully Smyth: [00:01:28] anyway, but
Abbie Chatfield: [00:01:31] I don't want to see you as well. Like we
Tully Smyth: [00:01:32] haven't seen each other. I looked down like you didn't really have a tool. I was
Abbie Chatfield: [00:01:37] like, we've already
Tully Smyth: [00:01:37] met like a handful of times. I know. I forgot how tall you are.
We tried to get a photo. I know it was,
Abbie Chatfield: [00:01:44] it was impossible.
Tully Smyth: [00:01:45] We definitely have to, um, Go out for a proper drink, like just do it me. Yeah. Um, Oh no, the boys can come too, I guess, but we definitely have to have that puppet drink. I have it have an update for, you know, me. Um, I have a date tonight. Stop who with.
Well, the reason I'm telling you guys is because you're all very invested. It's with orange wine, boy, I was
Abbie Chatfield: [00:02:05] going to say orange man.
Tully Smyth: [00:02:09] Well, I, I, you know, hello. We met me, I took the, I took the lead. I made the reservation. Um, but going a future, future enrichment. Have you been before? No, not even Japanese place.
One of my friends owns it. I'm sorry. I have been there. Yeah, it's great. Yeah. Yeah. So, um, it's finally happening after months of talking and locked down. You know, him kind of fighting off a bit and then coming back, maybe like not into it. And then he's funny for a day and went back into it. So who knows what will happen?
I feel, I felt, I at least owed him a day. So it's happening tonight, guys? I will let you guys know how it goes. I'll fill you in the wine menu yet. I haven't, I haven't touched the wine menu. I'm pretty, it's very hard to get orange wine restaurant wise. Um, it's, you know, it's,
Abbie Chatfield: [00:02:54] it's, it's
Tully Smyth: [00:02:55] exclusive. Um, but yeah.
How are you, how are you today? Why are you giggling?
Abbie Chatfield: [00:03:01] Uh, no, I'm just laughing at the orange line.
Tully Smyth: [00:03:03] Um, Leah
Abbie Chatfield: [00:03:05] somehow
Tully Smyth: [00:03:06] dressed the same again. I don't know how this heat's bloody happening.
Abbie Chatfield: [00:03:10] Like I've got my little life
Tully Smyth: [00:03:11] pendant thing, which
Abbie Chatfield: [00:03:12] is silver and you've got yours, which has gold
Tully Smyth: [00:03:15] sometimes. Yeah, exactly where the same opposite.
Sometimes we are exactly the same, but not the same. And then even yesterday we kind of were like, Dressed in the same story as my stylist friend Laney would say, we were kind of like, it's like weird with like, okay, you're going to go a bit like grungy bit black and white. Yeah. I'm gonna go with black and white too.
I have my docs on
Abbie Chatfield: [00:03:35] black, skinny jeans.
Tully Smyth: [00:03:37] Let's see James. Um, We look cute together. We tried to get a photo, but I don't know if we now don't,
Abbie Chatfield: [00:03:42] we might have to try properly. I wasn't happy with it, but
Tully Smyth: [00:03:45] you said you were going to fix me and I fixed it. I just don't love any of them. You know? Like they, they're cute.
We'll probably, you know, we'll put it somewhere, but like, I'm not going to frame any of them. We really should get some proper photos done. Yes. On a site. Yeah. Like some actual photos let's organize that. That'd be fun. I'll have this. We'll get a stylist is going to make a podcast would be a whole thing.
Um, so today's episode is going to be a fun one. Yes. Um, this is a long time coming. Um, I reached out to Abby way back after she's on the show. Um, when I kind of slowly saw what was happening to her, I was like, Oh God, this poor girl. Um, I kind of feel like we are cut from the same cloth, Abby Chatfield. And I, she reminds me of myself at that age.
She's only like she's a baby. I think she's 24 or something. 25. Maybe there's only 23 on the show. Um, and I was 25 and I had a big brother, so. There are a lot of similarities. I feel like I see, like I see her do things and say things. I'm like, Oh, that's something that I would have said back then. Um, and I had this really like, um, oldest sister, mother duck vibe towards her.
Like I just want to protect her and like help her out. So I'm excited. Should we bring her in? Let's bring her in. All right. I totally get a one. I'm like, Abby, make sure you have a wine. So hopefully she's got a glass of wine. I've got my SATA. Let's do it. AbbVie. Firstly, thank you so much for joining us on the show.
Um, I would love to be doing this in person, but I've been out or 10, but this is going to have to do
Abbie Chatfield: [00:05:08] I know. Thanks for having me, babe. I mean, are you drinking? Of course she's
Tully Smyth: [00:05:13] missing she this morning. I was like, make sure you have a drink. Yeah. You. And I haven't actually officially met in real life, which blows my fucking mind because I feel like we're best friends, like kindred spirits on more than a few levels.
Abbie Chatfield: [00:05:25] I like FaceTime do drink, like cried together. We've spoken about like, we've gone through, I felt we've gone through breakups
Tully Smyth: [00:05:32] together. You kind of just officially ending it with ex boyfriend. He used to love, um,
I've sent you books on relationships. I say, you know, I've always said this to you, to you and to people. You know, I see a lot of similarities between the two of us. Um, you remind me of myself 10 years ago, and I've always, I felt this really intense need to protect you from the moment I saw you on the bachelor.
And once I saw what was happening in terms of editing and trolling and the mania. It feels really weird that we actually haven't met because yet we've cried on FaceTime with Santa Ana. Who's an 103 voice notes back and forth to each other, really ugly selfies.
Abbie Chatfield: [00:06:13] I know.
Tully Smyth: [00:06:13] Um, and you've recently hanging out with some of my very old and dear friends in Sydney, which is.
Yeah, fucking unfair. Number one, I'm like, I get messaged you. And I'm like holidays.
Abbie Chatfield: [00:06:23] He's like taking all my friends got side, but Samoa
Tully Smyth: [00:06:26] Danny. I'm like, can you just take it over my life
Abbie Chatfield: [00:06:29] beach? Like Danny was like, Oh, you and Talia close. Hey. And I was like, yeah. And he was like, when did, where did you meet?
And I was like, how dare you ask that question? I was like, I was like, We've not met. And he's like, so you've not met that you like call her when you're upset. And I was like, yeah, I don't know. I can't explain us. We were supposed to go overseas together. Course.
Tully Smyth: [00:06:49] We were supposed to go to Moriches together with BU we were both so excited.
I literally like. I always ask when they ask all these trips, I'm like, who else is going? And I'm always like, Oh, fucking drain. I know Abby. And I'm like, we are going to bait. We have the best fucking time. And that was a wake the world. Shut down. I
Abbie Chatfield: [00:07:04] know it was crazy now. We're not sure we can go. And I was like, surely we can still get them.
Tully Smyth: [00:07:08] you can just stay there. Like, can we just get locked down in
Abbie Chatfield: [00:07:10] Maricia
Tully Smyth: [00:07:13] so you and I had like, all these boo-hoo bags of clothes, like bikinis and stuff, and suddenly we couldn't even find in the house.
Abbie Chatfield: [00:07:19] I know, I mean, but you had a worst night and you've been, you've just got to be locked down. So I've like been like gallivanting around, like I've been in Sydney every month for the last
Tully Smyth: [00:07:27] year.
It really, I, I fucking hate you. Um, as we know you and I both have a lot in common, um, specifically the fact that we will both, um, we both ended up as reality TV villains, but subsequently the victims of some pretty Highness online trolling and media coverage. And then we also seem to have a thing for narcissistic men.
Abbie Chatfield: [00:07:45] Hmm. Wow. What a way
Tully Smyth: [00:07:47] God
Abbie Chatfield: [00:07:48] were so cute. It's a little fun flavors in there. Don't we, it's a quirky
Tully Smyth: [00:07:53] first things. First, how I eat, because I know that you're currently in another round of quarantine. Yeah,
Abbie Chatfield: [00:07:59] it's not as bad. I'm just on the border bubble. So I, I like, I'm just self isolating in like a house in like Northern new South Wales.
So it isn't like a menthol, like a hotel locked down. Like I was last time I can cross the border. I could take across now, but I'm not going to risk it because I'd even check your parcels. Apparently. Now they're just like go on three alarms. So I really could just walk across the border, but. Not worth it.
Um, I'm fine. I mean, I was pretty anxious this morning, uh, and I just recorded a podcast crying the whole time, but I've had some sentences and, um, I'm just getting triggered because of, because of the narcissistic men that I used to date, I'm getting triggered by a nice man. Who's doing normal things and it's making me feel like.
I'm dating a narcissist again. So it's very
Tully Smyth: [00:08:41] hard. I went through some shit yesterday. I had a balance with magnesium just yesterday day before. And she, you dropped some fucking truth bombs on me that I was not prepared for. She was like, do you realize now after dating X, this guy, Mike, this guy was dating?
Um, yes, she goes, do you realize now? Cause I've, you know, I've be hanging out this lovely new guy, um, just as a friend, but this. I mean, everyone seems to think we should be together, including my dead mom who came through and that with the medium and told me I should be with this guy. Awesome.
Abbie Chatfield: [00:09:12] Why would the same person we're like this guy, but it's her mantra.
Tully Smyth: [00:09:15] Right. But she made me guys and like, I'm fucking furious with myself. She's like you realize you're just treating him the way that this guy treated you and like,
He's like, well, you sleeping, you know, you haven't slept five hours, but you're not sleeping with him. I'm like, Oh my God. Oh my God. Oh my God. Oh my God. Oh my God, what am I doing now? I'm like, am I the narcissist?
Abbie Chatfield: [00:09:35] Yeah. It's like when you realize that carrying and six in the city was the actual narcissist.
And you spent your whole childhood feeling sorry for her. And then you grow up and you're like, wow. Maybe I'm just Carrie. And I'm the victim all the time with mr. Big. And then now I'm treating the aided, my aid and like, shit.
Tully Smyth: [00:09:54] This new guy
Abbie Chatfield: [00:09:57] is my
Tully Smyth: [00:09:58] Aiden and I'm just like, I'm fucking it up anyway.
Abbie Chatfield: [00:10:02] Yeah, self sabotaging energy, but also then you think maybe I just want some spice I'm like,
Tully Smyth: [00:10:07] but then we have to remember of course, abs that our, what we think is fireworks and butterflies is actually us being in fight or flight. And we're actually just fucking anxious because the guy's treating us like shit.
Anyway. We're gonna touch on that a bit
Abbie Chatfield: [00:10:21] later. separate
Tully Smyth: [00:10:24] podcast. Jesse. You've been here or you, um, okay. So let's, let's just start off where we should be starting off as per my notes, my elaborate run sheet. We've got Yucca. I wanted to get you on to talk about the fact that. We have both been, you know, the TV villain, um, you were the evil sex pest on the bachelor and I was the cheating strumpet on.
Uh, well, they used to go actually the cheating, lesbian, because apparently that had anything to do with anything on big brother. Do you remember the exact moment that you realized that you were TV's new bad girl?
Abbie Chatfield: [00:10:59] Well, there wasn't an exact moment
Tully Smyth: [00:11:00] because
Abbie Chatfield: [00:11:02] I had, like, it was really weird episode one and two, I was like funny and like, she's confident.
Like we love her, like tricked me. And I
Tully Smyth: [00:11:10] think it was like episode three or four. And I
Abbie Chatfield: [00:11:11] was like, things are going pretty lately. Like things seem to be declining. I think it must be around like episode six. I was like, Oh yeah. And because I'm like such a, like, I don't want to say, well read. I'm like, I'm very aware of
Tully Smyth: [00:11:26] smart
Abbie Chatfield: [00:11:27] boy.
I'm aware of like patriarchal structures and aware of like patriarchal, like, and I was like, Aw, the McDonald whole things happening. Like I was like Chelsea and I goes, I knew what happened. So I was like, Chelsea said, Madonna, I'm the whore. Chelsea is going to win off last year with Honeybadger. They needed a villain to be the person who comes second.
Like they need someone to hate. And I was like an older girls. In the house, we'll fucking gang up on me. So there's all this footage to them saying that I'm awful without anything actually happening, but it's like, if I'm saying she's evil, she must be evil and yeah. Um, then it's all kind of blur. Hey, because it just, it, I, I, I'm not sure if you feel the same, but it's like, when you read about stuff about yourself, it all just kind of goes into one big, awful cloud.
Like, you don't really know what was even said, but you know, it was awful.
Tully Smyth: [00:12:11] I think it's, it's really interesting. Um, our two shares are quite different in that your show was filmed, you know, months prior to airing. Whereas mine was a day, you know, we would lie basically. So I think, I imagine it would've been harder for you because I was getting, you know, a hell of a lot of abuse whilst on the show.
But the minute I was evicted, I was there not on their TV screens anymore. So I kind of, whilst I still, I still can't get a fuckload. Right. Because that's
Abbie Chatfield: [00:12:39] what the daily mail
Tully Smyth: [00:12:40] wanted. I think the hate kind of quietened down. I mean, there were rumors going around that I actually wasn't supposed to be evicted the night I was evicted, but the producers pulled me out because they were concerned that if I said any longer, the vitriol would get so bad.
They wouldn't be able to handle it. And I was actually kept even. So you basically, once you're evicted from big brother, you spend the night, um, up on the gold coast and then they fly back home the next day. But I was kept under suicide watch for like three days in a hotel because they were that concerned about me
Abbie Chatfield: [00:13:09] really.
Tully Smyth: [00:13:10] why was this? This was 2013. So you would have been about nine? No,
Abbie Chatfield: [00:13:14] I was 18.
Tully Smyth: [00:13:17] Fuck you.
Abbie Chatfield: [00:13:17] I was 18. Um, well, because what would they like with social media? Instagram would've just been starting. So what was it? The
Tully Smyth: [00:13:25] articles that were fucking yes. So I, they had this like package ready to go. When I was on stage with Sonia Krueger, who was the host of the show.
She's still, he's actually the host of the show and they had his package to go and it was like, Most, you know, are most talked about housemate. I, my name trended worldwide on Twitter, multiple times, worldwide Australia wide. And they showed me this cliff and I'm, you know, I'm in front of a live audience and I was a social media manager at the time.
So I knew what that meant. And I knew the, the, the magnitude of that. And I was like, That ain't good.
Abbie Chatfield: [00:14:02] I was like,
Tully Smyth: [00:14:03] that's what I'm spending because I, you know, saved a puppy. I I'm trending for a bad reason.
Abbie Chatfield: [00:14:08] Nothing trends or positivity.
Tully Smyth: [00:14:10] No, exactly. Like Instagram was literally just about to take off just brooming just about to boom, but there were Facebook groups.
I hate Tali Facebook groups with like 60,000 people sending me death threats, making memes about my. Sick mum, um, tweets, Facebook groups, and then just the media coverage was fucked. The, I didn't have to deal with Instagram trolls at the time. No.
Abbie Chatfield: [00:14:33] But I mean, having a Facebook group dedicated to, I think is even more painful and insidious because it's like, wow, it's a good place to like, out to get me, like you're fearful.
You know what I mean? Rather than directly talking to you, they're like creating this.
Tully Smyth: [00:14:46] Oh
Abbie Chatfield: [00:14:48] yeah.
Tully Smyth: [00:14:49] Yeah. And my family, I should, I just get taken down before I was a big turd. Um, they reached out to Facebook a couple of times as did channel nine, but, uh, it was still, it was still there when I came out. So that was a fun, little art read through wasn't it.
Back to you and your experience, how did you feel knowing that,
Abbie Chatfield: [00:15:05] uh, you were the villain at the time
Tully Smyth: [00:15:07] and seeing all these articles and whatnot? Like
Abbie Chatfield: [00:15:09] how did you overcome it? Oh my God, babe. Don't think I did have a comment soon therapy once a week. I mean, when, when, um, the show was airing, I was. I have like amazing friends that I've had for years and who are like, I think I'm very lucky in my friendship group in that they were very like on protective and supportive mode.
Like I had a friend who worked in advertising who was very good at social media, who literally wouldn't like, I gave her my login and she would like. Every Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, we'd go on my Instagram and get rid of all the negative messages and she'd screenshot them for me. Cause I wanted to put them into a Google doc, like out the later on, which I have done a few times.
Um, and then she would like leave all the positive ones. So she like, basically did my social media for me when the show was airing. And then when I was watching it, my girlfriends and I every week, I'd say with my same like five best friends, we'd watch it. One would take my phone and then another one would read out.
She'd look up hashtag bachelor, AAU, Abby, and we'd read out only the positive ones as it was coming through. So it was like, I had this like little, like circle of like protected miss Ramey and my girlfriends
Tully Smyth: [00:16:15] that is so fuck that you even need, like, it blows my mind that you have needed that, like someone to.
Weekly daily, go through your phone and delete, you know, probably I'm going to guess hundreds of messages.
Abbie Chatfield: [00:16:28] Oh yeah. She called me one. So she called me one day and she was crying and she was like, I actually can't, I don't know if I can do this any longer. It's like week four and we have like four to go and it was only going to get worse.
And she was like, I don't know if I can do this. Like I'm crying every day, reading things about one of my best friends, like people were saying, they want to physically harm you and saying to this awful person, when, like, I love you so much. And I was like, yeah, babe, I'm sorry. It's like, I'm not sure
Tully Smyth: [00:16:53] what I'm going to do.
I had another, I had a girlfriend who was running like a, like a, not a fan of, I mean, I guess she was a fan of cat. She was trying to like, cause you had to vote to keep us in the house. And so she was running like an account being like, Hey guys, we're at fatale. And it got to a point, um, where she was like, I can't, she'd like to quit.
I'd stopped doing it. She's like, I can't do this anymore. Cause it's just, the hate is so upsetting. I mean, that's, that's. Probably what I found the hardest. I feel like you and I signed up for, for that. And I feel like in some regards we have to just cop it because it is part and parcel with a show. Like what we, you know, the shows we went on, but having to see my dad and my brothers read that stuff and having to see them be upset by it.
And then like dad originally was like taking every troll to town. I'm like, dad, you cannot do this. You cannot engage. You can't reply. You're egging them on. You're making it worse. And he's like, how can I sit there? And read this shit about my little girl and not say something I'm like, so sorry.
Abbie Chatfield: [00:17:47] Yeah. My uncle made an Instagram account just to reply, but he would always imply with no, but it was called uncle Robbie, Jay.
So it was obviously my uncle, like, it was like, it wasn't even like Robert Gianna. It was like uncle Robbie, Jay. And he would like apply here, but it wasn't even like you, it was like really like smart, witty things like, Oh, pathetic, you are Susan. Like, it was like, really? And it would like actually make me laugh.
I got to a point. I was like, Robbie, like. Stop reading all this stuff. And it's the same thing. It's like, how can you not protect someone that you love? And also we're gonna have the chance to opt out. Like, we're like, okay, well this is it. We have to cop it somehow and get through it. But people, our friends and family, they are effective because they're like, well, this is unfair.
And I see it happening to you when they're simultaneously reading awful things, but also worried about the longterm effects on you. And like, if you're all going to make it through, like mom told me when I filmed, um, Reputation rehab. Like, I didn't know this, but she told me that she would like go to bed every night, crying more than ultimate kill myself.
Tully Smyth: [00:18:44] Yeah. It's it didn't tell me.
Abbie Chatfield: [00:18:46] And I was like, that's
Tully Smyth: [00:18:47] so fucking awful. It's it's crazy. Looking back at like how dark it got for me, like how. Yeah. I mean, I don't even know how I got, I didn't even know how I got through it. Like there was some times I was like, I remember hiding under my dining room table with my friends that were coming up.
Did like do a basic, do a welfare check on me. Cause I completely have withdrawn from everybody. And I remember seeing them coming off my front porch and like ducking under a table being like, I didn't, I couldn't physically handle company. I didn't want to say to anybody. I just didn't want to see anybody.
Um, it's a lot.
Abbie Chatfield: [00:19:20] It was a lot. It's fucking awful. Yeah. I was like, I still was working a nine to five, so I would go into work and I literally, I said this a million times in interviews, but I would go in. And like slick my hair back because obviously my curly hair is like noticeable and then like not wearing makeup of my glosses and flats.
And like, my daggy is workout fix. I was on it. I was truly scared. Someone's going to haunt me. Like I, like, I was truly, I was too
Tully Smyth: [00:19:45] scared to go to chapel street. Cause I thought I was going to gloss me. I'm going to throw it out to bars and be like, is that girl gonna, is that guy gonna like, yeah,
Abbie Chatfield: [00:19:53] because when you say, I think when we say like, Oh, the death threats that I got because you and I, I guess he.
Unfortunately used to it or where, like we understand, that's just like part of what happens and we've had, and now we have, the benefit of hindsight was, Oh yeah. So many death threats. People don't understand that people are genuinely being like, I'm going to come and find you and kill you. And like regularly or sitting, like I got voice notes.
I got like a girl being like describing what she can do. She sees me in Melbourne and it's like, Yeah. It's, it's not just like, Oh, a death threat. It's like anyone getting one death threat, they'd call the cops and they'd be like, what the fuck. If you want on a TV show, we're getting hundreds. Maybe even thousands of, from your, a decade through to, I want to slit your throat open.
Like it isn't just like a death threat.
Tully Smyth: [00:20:41] It's not. And I remember people being like, I know where you live. I've seen you on this street, like a street near my house. I'm like, Oh my God. They actually, the fucking daily mail was shooting outside my house. I'm like, right. Well, there's my house. There's the front of my house now on the internet forever.
Thank you so much for that.
Abbie Chatfield: [00:20:56] Yeah. I mean, daily mail after my death. Right. But I got, and it was me. Like touching my, like the pot of my key, that gets me into my building, like early this year. And I was like, can I fucking not do that? I can, I cannot show which key I use to get into my apartment. They live alone.
And like, after I'd gotten a death threat,
Tully Smyth: [00:21:15] there should be some fucking rules
Abbie Chatfield: [00:21:16] against that. Like, it's not
Tully Smyth: [00:21:18] fucking ethical at all. Like, honestly, I will touch on this, but like, I don't know how the daily mail sleep at night. Like I just, I'm a journalist. I went to, you need to do journalism. And I learned all about ethics.
Um, and I just, I read some of these articles that I'm like, how Sarah, how do you sleep at night? Like, do you feel good when you go home after running? Is this shit about me? Like, do you feel,
Abbie Chatfield: [00:21:40] do you feel comfy? Yeah. Are you going with that also, perhaps like under any other circumstances, perhaps to be considered stalkers and the cops would be on their asses, but the second you call, like at one time, like when it first started happening and I didn't know how to handle it, I was like getting followed by this pepper out.
So in Brisbane as any one. And he would like drive. So it was like fast and the furious driving off me, I was shooting it grilled because I was thinking if I can be, I got like leave me alone. And I was like, I was, I went into Chermside. It's like Westfield and I was sobbing and I went to the cop shop in Westfield and I was like, can you please walk me out to my car?
Like I genuinely, there's a man following me. And then when I have like, this men follow me taking photos of me, like, Oh yeah, of course. Of course, of course got the make wise taking photos of you. And I was like, Oh, I was in the bachelor. And they were like, Oh, As though, because I was on the bachelor, they were like, you poor thing until I was like, this is why this middle aged man is following me around from my home every morning, every day, I'd pocket, different train stations, close to it.
And my nine to five, I would, he would follow me from my mother's home. Like my mum's house. You follow me every fucking morning to get a photo of me walking to the train, like fuck off. If you feel so unsafe, it's so awful. And like to think that people. I think that being a pepperoni. So isn't the most fucked thing in the world.
Like my agents recently had a pap techs and being like, I know where you live. My agents
Tully Smyth: [00:23:02] I've had pops reach out to me and I know that other people do it. In fact, I had cured on the show and he admitted to doing it before, like organizing, Oh, I've done it before. Oh really?
Abbie Chatfield: [00:23:12] Yeah. Because my friend needed some because my friend was, I was like, Aw, she was like, it was during COVID at the side of COVID.
And she was like losing some money. And I was like, I know that you get half of this. So do you want me to just go outside without a bra on she's like, yeah, I was okay. Wow. See, I just like, I will do
Tully Smyth: [00:23:26] anything in my power to stay out of the daily mail. So the fact that some people, I might totally all power to you for like taking control of the narrative and like, you know, if you can make a buck out of it, I think here in Sydney, my nothing out of it, but yeah, I don't know.
I just, I feel like w it's working with the enemy. I can remember this goddess young guy in Sydney texted me. He's like, Hey, Tali. I just saw in your stories that you just landed in Sydney. Um, let me know if you want to like collab this weekend. And I was like,
Abbie Chatfield: [00:23:53] Yeah, I don't just shit like that, but I have done it before because I'd been like, Oh, well, I'm going anyway.
And like, there've been times where I'm like, I know I will get papped regardless. So I may as well, just fucking, like if I go literally like me, I know in this palace and my best friend Christabel lives in Potts point, and I would get papped waiting for Uber eats. And I'm like, fuck me. Like I might as well tell someone what I'm bring for Ruby to get like a couple of hundred dollars.
Like it's like, but, but I agree. I, I would never do it now because I'm not sure to money who I was short of money. I was like, fuck it. I
Tully Smyth: [00:24:26] honestly, the shit I considered doing when I mentioned the money.
Abbie Chatfield: [00:24:31] Sorry. I think there's a difference between getting yourself papped, doing things and setting up your friends who aren't in, like the spotlight.
Um, or like people that like try to go and I've, you've had this people would try to go on like fake dates with you. Have you had this? No, but I went on a date
Tully Smyth: [00:24:50] with a guy from Ray. Who's actually quite a big w I mean, he's not
Abbie Chatfield: [00:24:53] okay. I get it. You're on RIAA. I get it. I've tried mate.
Tully Smyth: [00:24:58] I've given you a friend pass.
I've sent them an email. Like I've tried to get you on there. I'm so sorry. I'm sorry. He's this British guy. He lives in LA. He's an actor. So he didn't like, I don't want to say. I'm going to say his name, but we would Pat in Bondai and they didn't, they're so dumb and lazy. They didn't know who he was. It was like big brothers, bad girls, but it was new mystery honk.
I'm like that guy's way bigger than I am. And you've fucked this up royally. I feel like it's, every time I go to bond, I make sure I look cute. Cause they fucking hang around Bondai. Like you can't get away from them.
Abbie Chatfield: [00:25:32] I would look at tr I don't give a fuck anymore. I actually don't care. I'm like, get a photo of me looking at, then we'll call her in person.
Next time someone sees me like I'm. So beyond the daily mail, I'm like, okay, can suck my Dick.
Tully Smyth: [00:25:42] I highly deadly fail. Um, I feel like though we've both been pretty successful in changing the narrative and showing Australia who we really are. Um, but to me it's feels like a constant uphill battle. Like, do you feel like you have something to prove?
Abbie Chatfield: [00:25:56] Oh my God. All the time, I feel like people are waiting for me to prove that narrative. Right. Like, I feel like even, like, I don't know if you're the same, but like when you meet fans and they're always so lovely, but my, my, my best friend's Georgie's only fucking years is like, I watch you. Consciously try to be overly nice.
Get if you're not, if you aren't like a 12 out of 10, if you were an eighth ago, Shaq, she was pretty rude. And it's like, well, not with my friends. Like, I'd go recently. My, my friend was talking to me about her mom, the mom being, um, having a few years and when we're outside and you're having a cigarette, we were pretty drunk.
And this co-contribution like, Hey, sorry, having a DNM. And I was like, here we are actually like, yeah, we
Tully Smyth: [00:26:37] are on Cassie.
Abbie Chatfield: [00:26:39] Yeah. And like, you know, she didn't know. And she goes, and she's like, I guess we could get a photo. And I was like, I have to be like, sure. And it's like, I, because I know that if I went actually, can we not impolitely?
It's like, she is a villain. Like, you feel like all the time, someone's waiting for a crack to a P whereas people that get good at it over to the good guys, it's so hard. To prove that that even as an old person, we're all just kind of the same level. It's sad.
Tully Smyth: [00:27:05] I'm exactly the same. I literally go above and beyond.
If a get out, especially the girls, if a girl recognizes me, guys are never rude to me. Guys always want to just want a photo with me and I say hi or something, but maybe not say hi to me. If I wonder why they're like, fuck you and
Abbie Chatfield: [00:27:20] fuck you paint. Isn't
Tully Smyth: [00:27:21] fun.
Abbie Chatfield: [00:27:23] Yeah. No like no friend loves you and I'm like, really.
Tully Smyth: [00:27:27] Really I am. I go above and beyond. I meet them. Like, if they're are the bathrooms, like my best, friend's like, Oh, like I'll say name. If they tag me in a selfie, I like go and put a hundred million love hearts on it so that they know that I'm nice. And it's always
Abbie Chatfield: [00:27:40] that it's like,
Tully Smyth: [00:27:41] it's very, it's so rare.
Like the one time you're not, that person will take it to, I remember I was at a movie theater and they, this, this woman and her daughter sat like literally two seats away from me when there was a whole time. He would say to just sit at. And they're talking about me really loudly. Like I'm not kidding.
When I say two States away from me in an empty movie theater before the movie, it started talking really loudly about me as if I'm not, there is if I can't hear them as if I'm deaf, dumb and blind. And I sat there and I sat there and I sat there and I was gritting my teeth and my friends were like, You okay.
I'm like, yeah, I'm fine. I'm fine. It's fine. Let me just do it partly. I'm going to keep and pay. I dunno. I dunno.
Abbie Chatfield: [00:28:19] Yeah. You're like an object
Tully Smyth: [00:28:20] eventually. Eventually I was like I mentioned, I was like, Hey guys, sorry. I'm right here. Like, I can hear what you're saying. It's not very nice. Yeah.
Abbie Chatfield: [00:28:27] And she's like, she's like, I'm sorry.
Tully Smyth: [00:28:29] I was like, I can hear you. You talking about me right there. Anyway, this woman went and posted this massive thing on some public Facebook group and was like my daughter. And I met tally from you guys tonight. You know, my daughter was a fan until tonight. She was so rude to me and I'm like, Oh man, if you knew the fucking real story, like
Abbie Chatfield: [00:28:48] if you bought back, then, then it's like, she's trying to defend her reputation.
It's like, no, I'm telling the truth. I mean, I've, I now like avoid going out and like people that meet me are always so lovely. And I also feel like. I'm like, I want to
Abbie Chatfield: [00:29:00] nice to you because you're so lovely to me. And people are like, I love you. You've changed my life. But it's like when you've had 45 of those in a night, you get honestly like sleepy, like tired.
Like he like two of my best friends having a drink for the first time. Cause I'm always away and like for the first time in weeks. And I'm like, if I just go, hi, how are you? I freak out my Georges. Gotten used to rates me. She's like, that was a four out of 10 Bay that wasn't,
Tully Smyth: [00:29:22] it's also so rude to our friends.
Like our friends could get interrupted. I hate when they take photos, they shoved the cat out of your friends. They just shut that.
Abbie Chatfield: [00:29:29] They didn't even say it. They don't ask, they
Tully Smyth: [00:29:31] just shut the camera and your friend's face. Like, can you take a photo of us? And my friend's like, fuck,
Abbie Chatfield: [00:29:35] the people I've had a secure, the funniest one that I've had a fucking I'll get it from, from Alaska.
We were at JB Hi-Fi and the security guard. Was like, Oh, I gotta be from the bachelor. And I was like, yay. Like that. And I was really sick that day and then kidney infection. And I was like, yeah, I am other blah, whatever, how are you doing my thing? And she was like, you were a real bitch on that show. And I was like, Oh yeah, I think I was, but okay.
Abbie Chatfield: [00:30:04] she was a cat, everyone hated you. And I was like, yeah, totally. And then I still felt the need to like. I couldn't be rude back. Even if someone's saying to my face, you're a bitch. I couldn't be rude back because I knew she'd go on the bachelor forums and be like, I met Abby confirmed. She's a bitch.
Like you have to be completely nice. And like, obviously it's like a privilege of being so nice to you and being relayed to you, but it's like, no matter how they treat you, you have to always be the same 10 out of 10 back. And it's like, because you're fighting against that edit that you got a couple years ago, like I'm a fucking asshole to some people not to fans, but like.
Tully Smyth: [00:30:40] You think you call people
Abbie Chatfield: [00:30:41] out on social media, both of you recently as well. Yeah.
Tully Smyth: [00:30:46] Yeah. Abby's Abby's wine. Well, Brian, about that shit than I am, like, I would never, like I ever posted some awful stuff before, but it always hide their identity. Abby's like not, you know what, if you have the balls to say it to me, then you should stand behind it and you should own it.
Abbie Chatfield: [00:30:58] yeah, I think,
Tully Smyth: [00:30:59] I think, I think because
Abbie Chatfield: [00:31:01] as well, because people have this idea and I'm sure, you know, this is spelled telly. Like people have this idea that a troll or someone's going to DME something mean. He's like this like overweight guy in his mom's basement, like eating Cheetos. Like, no, no, no, no.
It's like your it's your friends. Like I've had, I've posted people and I've had like friends of friends, DME saying, Oh my God, that's my friend's girlfriend. Like I've had. And I'm like, Yeah, they're an asshole.
Tully Smyth: [00:31:27] Like I'm like, well, they like mothers of young women, like young girls. You're like, right, great.
This is perfect.
Abbie Chatfield: [00:31:32] Always the wholesome mums. It's
Tully Smyth: [00:31:34] always the bottom, like really?
Abbie Chatfield: [00:31:36] But the one that has the word kindness in their bio is a complete can't they literally like, I'm sorry, like you are trying to make up for something like this. It's like being like human, like yeah. Okay, cool.
Tully Smyth: [00:31:47] Like the .
Abbie Chatfield: [00:31:49] Yeah. Okay.
Why you have to make an appointment? The yoke, the kind like you're like, I have someone that gives me all the time and they, Instagram is to stay classy. Underscore I F Oh
Tully Smyth: [00:32:00] my God.
Abbie Chatfield: [00:32:02] Yeah. Every day. And I reply to them. I'm like, Oh God, like, have you come to my stories yet? Like, I'm like, are you okay? Like, what's going on?
And there must be like whole slot. And I'm like,
I'm like what? Like, I'm like, I'm like, okay, like, I'll put it like a photo, like Danny and Sydney. And he's like, you're a slot. So he cock and I'm like, yeah, man,
Tully Smyth: [00:32:25] like,
Abbie Chatfield: [00:32:27] wow, am I sucked in adult man's cock as an adult?
Tully Smyth: [00:32:29] No. What else though? As someone who's close personal friends with Denny. If you are sucking his car, it's a big cock.
So power do that to him. It's a really big car.
Abbie Chatfield: [00:32:39] We do it too. It's
Tully Smyth: [00:32:41] huge. Um,
Abbie Chatfield: [00:32:43] Oh actually just used to have a
Tully Smyth: [00:32:44] crush on him. Didn't you? Well, I met him. Um, that's the question first. I thought it didn't everyone.
Abbie Chatfield: [00:32:52] When I was nine,
Tully Smyth: [00:32:53] I was like obsessed with him. So Jess, Hey, um, came to meet me and my ex girlfriend at the time, actually, Steph, we were at Freshie.
Well, he used to live in the area and he came straight from the Arias. So he'd had a big night, um, he was still wearing suit and he wanted to go for a swim. So he shipped off into dis-ease like bonds boy leg on days when first game came back, we will. I mean, I was introducing girls at the time, so I was like, can you put.
Abbie Chatfield: [00:33:18] offensively, huge Dick
Tully Smyth: [00:33:20] away. Like why are you not wearing pants? You know, I, we took a photo. Um, I don't know why we took a photo
Abbie Chatfield: [00:33:27] comical. It's comical,
Tully Smyth: [00:33:29] the three of us photo
check, this leaning tower of PISA. And then, um, he ended up on a now defunct cause I tried to find it when Abby started hanging out with Danny, I really wanted to find this photo for her. Um, To pre-warn her of what she's about to have to undergo, but Julia. Yeah. But, um, it ends up in awkward bonus.com. It was a whole thing.
And he was so proud of himself.
Abbie Chatfield: [00:33:55] He wears budgie smugglers and he , he sent me a photo like a couple of weeks ago at him at the beach. And it was like, just like on his legs, anything buddy mind. And I'm like, dude, Wear board shorts. Like you it's like, it's a check mean wearing like a size for like fucking bikini tops,
Tully Smyth: [00:34:13] little children away.
Abbie Chatfield: [00:34:14] It's actually it's offensive. Like, can you fucking like daddy? Like it's too, it's too much. And you see it. And you're like, I don't know. I asked him one day,
Tully Smyth: [00:34:23] I go, what to do with this?
Abbie Chatfield: [00:34:24] He's going to hate me for saying all this. I asked him, I was like, at what age did you realize your Dick is that big? Cause I was like,
Tully Smyth: [00:34:34] He fucking loves it.
He loves it. I've known him for like 10 plus years and it's always been a thing always saying, Hey, um, he, Oh, he makes me laugh so much. He used to always come. Um, when we'd be in the Mardi Gras, we'd be, we'd get a float and he'd come and be a part of like the lesbians. It was just seriously one straight dude and a bunch of guys, but he loves lesbians.
Yeah, he does. He does. I'm surprised to human. I've never hooked up actually.
Abbie Chatfield: [00:34:58] Yeah, me too. I mean, I, Oh, you actually spoke about this. I think it's because he femme energy. The bio women love him. Then he loves like strong women. So it's like, he just like, just,
Tully Smyth: [00:35:07] he actually wants hooked up with my girlfriend that I was dating her at the time.
That was pretty dodgy of him. I remember that. Anyway, we digress nothing about Denny.
his head and his Dick are already too big. He doesn't need any more. He doesn't need any more from us. He gets enough fucking clicks.
Abbie Chatfield: [00:35:25] I would die for him though.
Tully Smyth: [00:35:27] I mean,
Abbie Chatfield: [00:35:28] I would, I could think of worst people for you to end
Tully Smyth: [00:35:30] up with. I'd rather you end up with a friend of mine then some other narcissist. Um, so we've obviously both experienced quite a bit of trolling on social media.
Do you have anything that comes to mind comes like the meanest shittiest thing you've read about yourself.
Abbie Chatfield: [00:35:42] Oh on social media or in an article. I mean, there was that there was that voice note. Yeah, that was, it was like, if I ever see you, can't, I'm going to strangle you to death. That was pretty fucked. I mean, I've had a lot of like, of threats of like, if I see you, I'm gonna strangle you.
I think the worst one that like, they're scary, but they're not particularly in our main, but they're not like hurtful. They're not ones you think about. But I think the biggest one that I still have took on in therapy is like all the ones that I got that were like, you don't deserve a relationship and you're so manipulative, like they're cause they're things that.
You can't quantify, like, I don't deserve to die. I know this, you know, I observed to be glossed. I know this, but it's like, when someone has you saying you're manipulative and people only like you, because let people will be like, you only have friends because you've manipulated them over the years to, to love you.
And I would ask my therapist, like I would be like, I don't know if people actually like me if I've been played people into life, maybe because when that's in your Saki, Are you start to believe it, and that is trolls, but if you say read it every day.
Tully Smyth: [00:36:45] Yeah. It plants a seed. Hey, I'm in the bank. Cause I cried a lot on big brother.
Like I cried nearly every day. I'm an emotional person. Like I cry all the time. I was, you know, it was fucking tough and I was, you know, I had anxiety and I, you know, at the time I wasn't medicated for it. So I was having anxiety and panic attacks without having any kind of relief from that, you know, I was going through this whole, I cheated on my girlfriend.
I had a lot of guilt I was dealing with. Um, but then people call me emotionally manipulative
Abbie Chatfield: [00:37:09] and I was like, I'm telling you, like,
Tully Smyth: [00:37:12] I'm just crying and be like, am I?
Abbie Chatfield: [00:37:14] And you're like, why do you cry a lot? And I do, I use this a consciously. My therapist had to be like, Abby, if you were manipulative, I, you would.
No. And you would have an, uh, goal and outcome. And also you wouldn't be the one that's constantly with these narcissistic assholes, who you'd be the one with an amazing boyfriend who you're cheating on here. Giving committee at too, she'd be the one winning. You're not winning, but
Tully Smyth: [00:37:38] don't worry about it.
You're not winning
Abbie Chatfield: [00:37:40] well, like he would meet once a week, sweetheart. Like,
Tully Smyth: [00:37:43] no, it's funny you say that. Cause I, um, Again, so my kinesiologist of the day, and she, I was originally when I was really bad seeing these geologists and a psychologist, cause I do very different things. I wasn't kind of different worlds and I find them both useful in different ways.
Um, now I kind of only see my, um, kinesiologist, which is kind of like also my therapist. Um, and she like body will tell you or her when I have to come back, you know, she's um, what'd you call it since? Yes. I don't want to call it. She will test. What is it? Muscle testing, muscle testing, muscle test. Um, Jess now says the same physiologists.
She's amazing. She muscle tests and she'll be like, um, okay. I need to see you in 13 weeks. I need to see you in eight weeks. Hmm. Um, and it's kind of like the, the quicker, the further away you need to see her, the better you're doing wrong. Like should let you know what you're going to go place your on path.
I'll see you in two months. Right. You're like, Oh, sweet. Amazing. Yeah. I saw her two days ago and she was like, cool. See you in two weeks. I was like, Oh,
Abbie Chatfield: [00:38:40] Oh no.
Tully Smyth: [00:38:41] I was like, Oh shit. It's that bad. Hey, okay, cool. Yeah. And she's like, yeah. TechOne is a journey oil. And some I'm like, Oh, it's bad. Is it bad? It's bad.
Isn't it? It's bad. Um, yeah. The worst thing I ever saved that has stayed with me to this day, um, was cause my mom, um, I think you're aware, but she passed away. She had early onset dementia. Um, since I was really little and it said, Oh, it makes me feel sick. It said, um, it's something like, it's a good thing.
A mother can't remember who you are. Cause she'd be ashamed
Abbie Chatfield: [00:39:13] the person you
Tully Smyth: [00:39:13] are today. And I was like, that's going to credit.
Abbie Chatfield: [00:39:17] And
Tully Smyth: [00:39:17] I was like, Oh, cause that's something that I always, you know, worry about. I'm like, you should be proud of
Abbie Chatfield: [00:39:22] it. What would she have been
Tully Smyth: [00:39:24] embarrassed about me on big brother?
Would she you've supported me in. So to have someone, I was like, Oh, that's heavy, man. It's really heavy. Um, that's probably the worst thing that I read about myself. I was like, cause it kind of just like hit a nerve. I was like, fuck, he's probably, maybe he's right.
Abbie Chatfield: [00:39:42] Hmm. Yeah,
fuck off. Just quick takeover. I'm gonna go anyway, Jess. So what's the next question? Well,
Tully Smyth: [00:39:55] I dunno it could trigger more tears, but, um, I guess I just want to know after your experience, um, in reality TV, did they look after your mental health afterwards? They check in like we've already heard from tele, um, in previous episodes that they didn't necessarily help her out.
Abbie Chatfield: [00:40:11] Didn't they. So I think by my season there'd been enough deaths in like love Island, UK, and that they will really wary of it. I mean, on the bachelor, this is the thing like when people like Jamie Dawn and shit, like they, they give you, like, if you fucking shut up. They give you support. I mean, I have a psychologist I could call right now.
I haven't spoken to him in six months and be like, Hey, I in session right now on zoom and she and of others to pay for it, like
Tully Smyth: [00:40:36] I could talk
Abbie Chatfield: [00:40:37] the rest of my life. I can call a site. And also I'm pretty sure some contestants have gotten. Um, what about others to pay for their psychologist as well? But I just want to do that cause I don't want it to be connected to my side, but it's like if I was ever really desperate for a psychologist, I I'm pretty sure they'd pay for it.
Um, and they also have a wellness person. So you have a psych and a wellness person. So you have someone that you can text or call same with the psych, but the wellness person is a bit more like a friend. Like a, like a caretaker
Tully Smyth: [00:41:07] kind of thing that you can sponsor. Yeah. Literally. And you can be like, Hey, like I got this
Abbie Chatfield: [00:41:11] message, how fuck is this all?
Like, even like my boyfriend broke up with me, so they like our Sykes and our wellness people, I think actually do the most they can do. I mean, the only thing that I can think of that could be more that they could do would be monitoring comments on the posts. But the thing is. They would post so much of me on my Instagram because I knew it would get like posts of Chelsea being wholesome with Matt and being like nerdy would get like 40 comments.
And then me humping on a beach would be like 7,000 comments. She's a slut, she's a whore. And I know that gets traction for the show. So it's like they could monitor comments, but they also. I mean, like that's kind of the point of the show is to get viewers to get writings is to get money. So yeah, I think, I think bachelor now do well.
I'm not sure later, earlier on, I think maybe they learned from some mistakes and you know, the wellness person wasn't on bachelor was on bit.
Tully Smyth: [00:42:01] So I think they're still in progressing
Abbie Chatfield: [00:42:02] their plans. Yeah.
Tully Smyth: [00:42:03] That's great. Cause I, as I said before, I had to, they offered me the show. So we had a show select too, but I just found like, he was just a bit of a puppet of a network.
And like, I'd say something like the show has made me feel this way. It's like, Hm. But it wasn't the show. And I'm like, well, yes, this has all happened since doing this show. So yes, it is the show. So I ended up saying, well, I'm going to, I was in such bad places. I'm going to find my art and you're going to pay for it.
And I just went out and found my own and invoice them every time I went and sold
Abbie Chatfield: [00:42:27] it and I paid for it,
Tully Smyth: [00:42:28] but I had to do that. That was my initiative. I took no one else. And I just asked, I was like, fuck you. I was so broke after the show. I was like, I don't have the money and I fucking desperately need it.
Like I'm borderline suicidal and this is your fault. So you're paying for it. Well, it's, it's hard as well to
Abbie Chatfield: [00:42:44] like stick up to the network and the stick up to the producers because you feel like, I mean, with bachelor anyway, you feel like you are going to lose other opportunities by like yeah. Talking
Tully Smyth: [00:42:55] bad.
If you want to work in the media, you're like, I can't bite the hand that feeds me. I might want to be on the network. It's not like I'm going to do something else on the network. Yeah. Or like even like,
Abbie Chatfield: [00:43:03] yeah. Like the producers that, you know, they might be told to like blacklist you, or like, I'm not visit, I've been threatened to me.
But you have these thoughts where it's like the media, Australian media is so intertwined. I mean, like having mutual friends, do you, and I have just from like being in this industry, like it's so small and you think if I fuck one person off, then there's going to be everyone hating me. So if I make a producer or.
Anyone from channel 10 or from one of those or from whatever the fuck you're dealing with, then you are like, well, that's going to put like a black Mark on my name and I can't be diff I can't be difficult. I have to be like, I'm, I'm just going to do my own shit. And, but I used to get calls from channel 10 and they'd be like, I be crying, but like, I want to fucking kill myself and they'd be like, can you.
At least tell me what's happening. Four episodes down. Can you tell him what's happened? Cause you're lying to me every week. They would like would code it. They'd be like, it's funny, babe, but it'd be like me, Frank had bitten to be say like, I hate her. She's I'd be like, it was like, they would like, it's just funny.
And I was like, you need to stop telling me, or I'm going to call like the EPA. I'm freaking the fuck out. And they'd be like, you can't do that. This is your time to show the network that you're strong. So I wouldn't,
Tully Smyth: [00:44:14] I love that Stockholm syndrome for us.
Abbie Chatfield: [00:44:16] Yeah. And I was like, okay, cool. And like, I didn't say anything.
And like, yeah. Like, I guess, like I got to go and paradise, like okay. But like, I you, you get kind of gasoline by them and then, yeah. And then even more so, like, I know how my, how edited big brother was, but like, I'm assuming a little bit, but like with batch, cause they have six months to edit it. It's like they would tell you like with, I recently on.
Rotation rehab was talking about how the, the Gemini conversation was not that at all. And I was like, it literally did not happen. It was just different conversations cut together. And I had to explain that, and then I was on Willow and Woody and they're like, why did you wait so long to tell everyone, like, if that's true and I was like, okay, Because I tell you, no, one's going to believe you.
If you say it's edited or they Gaslight you, they're like, no, one's going to believe you don't say it to edit it. Say that it was a funny thing and everyone's loving the humor. So you have to kind of make up stories as to how things happened without using the word edited. Because I tell you, if you say it's edited, no, one's gonna believe you.
Tully Smyth: [00:45:15] No, to be fair when that primary came out. And I remember they wheeled that shit. It was on after every show, it was on an every ad break to be fair. And then that came out and defended you and said, that's not how it went down at all. And that's not what she's like.
Abbie Chatfield: [00:45:26] Matt was like, Matt, the things I think Matt was told the same thing as us and Matt was like, I think Matt still felt guilty for how everything went down.
And I think that's a really good guy,
Tully Smyth: [00:45:38] but it was like all his posts.
Abbie Chatfield: [00:45:44] can tell you I've had an amazing,
I think that's a really good guy. And I think, I think that Matt felt bad for how it all happened.
Tully Smyth: [00:45:53] And I think he,
Abbie Chatfield: [00:45:54] I think he felt the least that he could do was defend me in that. And he was like in the way that the only way he could think of was, but it was a joke. It was a joke.
Tully Smyth: [00:46:01] Yeah. And
Abbie Chatfield: [00:46:02] also it made him look dumb for keeping me if I actually said that.
So it was like, he was like, it was a joke. Like she didn't mean that all the while knowing that he and I did not have that conversation ever, it didn't happen.
Tully Smyth: [00:46:13] It blows my mind, honestly. I'm sure it happens in other shows, but I don't know why it's so much more obvious on the bachelor and bachelorette. We have, they just chop and change the audio.
Abbie Chatfield: [00:46:22] That is not even in the same room.
Tully Smyth: [00:46:23] You've taken audio from like an outside area and put it in an inside conversation. Like I'm like, where have you put, what
Abbie Chatfield: [00:46:29] kind of magic are you
Tully Smyth: [00:46:30] pulling here? Like, what are you pulling your shit from? And
Abbie Chatfield: [00:46:32] here you can even hear there's an episode on Eleanor's last date.
And top three, you can hear Matt saying the word he goes and he says something like, I just think it's all bullshit, right. Or I just think it's a bit shit or something like that. And you can hear the word shit. Is him taking off his mic. Like you can hear it's like muffled and like a moving microphone kind of thing.
And it's like, they literally have you marked up every time there's cameras there waiting, saying, swearing, saying what a bitch saying everything. They haven't vocabulary. You have entire vocab. Oh for three months and he sentenced to, he said
Tully Smyth: [00:47:09] everything is,
Abbie Chatfield: [00:47:09] and the way that I speak is very, I mean, I swear a lot.
I'm very, like, I'm very extreme, like, fuck that. I'm like, I fucking love that. Or I'm like, I fucking hate that. So it's like, it's very easy to make me be like an extreme character or the way you right.
Tully Smyth: [00:47:21] Sounds soccer to cuddle that together. Um, speaking of your patient rehab, you, so you know what I'm friends with Zoe, right?
Abbie Chatfield: [00:47:28] I love Zoe,
Tully Smyth: [00:47:30] Zoe, Zoe not enlarge her younger sister, Georgia is one of my oldest bestest friends and my actual best friend. Sophia did your makeup that day. Oh,
Abbie Chatfield: [00:47:39] yes. Yes. I love that. It was so fun.
Tully Smyth: [00:47:42] So she, she messaged me. Um, I think she's still on set. I think you were recording and she's like, Oh my God. She's like, I just met Abby.
Didn't make up for the show we're doing. And she reminds me so much of you. She's like, it made me miss you. It was like having. You in the room, but it wasn't you. And I was like, yeah, I know she reminds me of myself too, like
Abbie Chatfield: [00:47:59] a lot, but I love that.
Tully Smyth: [00:48:01] Um, how was that experience? Cause I think you fucking nailed it.
I think you had yourself so beautifully, you spoke so eloquently. Um, you know, feedback I've seen you regram is so overwhelmingly positive.
Abbie Chatfield: [00:48:13] No, it was great. I was really excited to have like a different, because obviously, like you said, like we've met our own little communities, I guess, in our Instagram accounts, but it was nice to have a.
Tully Smyth: [00:48:23] audience.
Abbie Chatfield: [00:48:24] Yeah. That was the ABC,
Tully Smyth: [00:48:26] which is probably all the
Abbie Chatfield: [00:48:27] middle-aged moms that fucking hated me, hated you. So it was nice to at least have that little thing and like, it's all we can curse and we're amazing. And it was actually a little fun filming it and doing it. And I only agreed to do it because I wanted to go and see Danny.
And I was like an excuse to go to Sydney. He doesn't know that, but I was like, hi, this work to do in Sydney. I just wanted to,
Tully Smyth: [00:48:47] did you have a crush at your house? Cause like I try to Airbnb, but like it's so ECC at the moment. So I like. Do
Abbie Chatfield: [00:48:53] I did that last summer. I was like, I can't, I was like, I have four days where I have no mistake and he was like, I was like, thank you so much.
Um, but that, that time I didn't have, I was staying with, um, Simon, but, um, Yeah, no, like I literally just went, I'm like, I'm a women. I was like, Oh, recently I had a Sydney reason get the fuck out of Brisbane. Cause it was, they were going to pay for my quarantine to get back into Queensland and yeah, it was so good.
It ended up being amazing people who are watching out. Like, I think it's doing much better than even before what it was going to do. I found
Tully Smyth: [00:49:25] it really interesting and I kind of, I was kind of jealous. Like I wish I'd had the opportunity to do something like that. Back back when I was relevant.
Abbie Chatfield: [00:49:32] Yeah. I mean, I mean, it was, it was good, even for me to cause you kind of, I know about you, but you kind of like officing of is these articles about yourself and after seeing all the edits and whatever the fuck and the troll and you like almost guests like yourself into thinking that what your reality was, wasn't how it was.
And like seeing them edit that final, uh, that final scene edited the final scene for those of you who don't know. And it was basically like edited it so that Matt shows me that I'm addicted map.
Tully Smyth: [00:49:59] And it
Abbie Chatfield: [00:50:00] was so simple for them to edit that. And it was believable to me who was there, who was not with Matt.
I was like, wow, this is like, making me feel like I just one ever injected him. And it was like, it proved to me that I wasn't fucking crazy basically as well. So that's why it good for healing. Good for me.
Tully Smyth: [00:50:17] I think you're fucking crazy. Speaking of the media, tell me, or the same person. So like
Abbie Chatfield: [00:50:21] what
Tully Smyth: [00:50:22] do you mean?
I just feel crazy. I'm crazy.
Abbie Chatfield: [00:50:26] she was like pay if you're crazy. I'm crazy. And I was like, well, what.
Tully Smyth: [00:50:31] Yeah, legit. Like I'd rather be crazy than boring, but no one's ever accused me of being boring in my life. Never. I mean, but
Abbie Chatfield: [00:50:38] one time I was on a date with a guy at first date. We were at home after dinner and I was doing his tarot cards and I was like, I'm just forwarding it, bored of me.
And he was like, somehow
Tully Smyth: [00:50:48] that's going to be the case. I was like, anyway.
Abbie Chatfield: [00:50:51] Yeah. I was like, what kind of brain you want to do today? And he was like, it's that first eight? You
Tully Smyth: [00:50:55] psych that's so funny because I bring reflex cards to first dates and I'm back and tell me like the deepest, darkest secrets in trauma, like
Abbie Chatfield: [00:51:02] at a bar, bye.
Denny shamed me for it. I was at his fucking parents' house when I quit the podcast, like, Hey, like off of this company reflex. And he was like, I feel like flex his game is people who don't have conversation by themselves. I was like, babe, I get your help really smart. But this is like weird questions you didn't even think
Tully Smyth: [00:51:19] to.
Totally. I love it. I honestly, I bought, especially during fucking locked down, I have five that came a lot. I have all the expansion packs I paid for all of them, by the way. Um, and love it. I love flex so excited. Cannot, cannot wait to see her on big brother confirmation yet. No, but. It used to be the Pat shots.
Didn't we like,
Abbie Chatfield: [00:51:38] Oh, I didn't see the cap shots
Tully Smyth: [00:51:40] on a daily maggot, perhaps shots of her onstage with Sonya.
Abbie Chatfield: [00:51:43] I could just tell because she was commenting. She all my photos saying, so pretty love hot, but it's not reflects on the medicine.
Tully Smyth: [00:51:55] He's doing a socials right now. He's doing a fucking good job. They're posting like all her usual tech talk, funny videos, posting like old.
You know, fashion throwback. So they're doing a pretty fucking good job. It's a hard Instagram take over. She's phenomenal.
Abbie Chatfield: [00:52:05] It is. It's not a, not on point. It's so pretty love heart and every photo. And I'm like, but like, yes, bitch fucking die. And I'd be like, ah, like
Tully Smyth: [00:52:16] maybe it's, but, um, maybe
we just kind of briefly touched on dating, but, um, you and I have also bonded over the fact that we have both. Um, being in relationships with narcissistic men before,
Abbie Chatfield: [00:52:33] but
Tully Smyth: [00:52:34] can you tell the people that maybe you don't listen to a podcast or haven't heard the episode? Can you tell us a little bit about your experience?
Abbie Chatfield: [00:52:41] I mean, I'll give, uh, elevator pitch because it's very hard to encapsulate it. I mean, the podcast is two parts and it's like an hour and 10 minutes. Each part I've only released one part, but basically my ex-boyfriend, um, Is one of many bad ones, but he's the worst one that lasts a long time. We were on and off for about three and a half, four years.
He, his, his top notes, um, get me three STRs, uh, cheated on me with people that I knew. People, I didn't know. It was really fun. I'd find out. By Instagram, but I'm still finding out people that I do that he cheated on me with. Like last week, someone told me that it was girlfriend when we were dating against sub the year.
Um, I had an abortion and the night that I had the abortion, he left me to go out with the boys. And the next week, a couple of weeks, I wasn't fun anymore. He, um, what else did he do? He, when my grandma died, he was supposed to prevent me dinner and he ended up just ghosting me and we didn't talk for four months.
Tully Smyth: [00:53:32] That's where we were face timing, crying, whichever.
Abbie Chatfield: [00:53:34] Yeah. And, uh, he's basically the worst person to ever exist. Uh, and I hate his mother as well. Keep that in. I fucking hate his mother. I hate his family, the author people, um, and the reason why he's so fucked up and, um, I am, I'm almost certain, he is a narcissistic sociopath.
Um, but he is. He's just the absolute worst thought. I still was crying two days ago. Cause I heard a rumor about him that was quite awful going around Brisbane. And I was like, I just want to protect him. So I'm like still a little bit, like he's at my kid. And when I think he's got a new girlfriend now, And it's like at this weird point where I told you this, I think I must have told you this, this weird thing that I had when I found out they had any girlfriend that was like scream, crying with Christopher Aliza.
I just hurt so much. And she's like, but why? Like, you don't want to beat with him. You guys actually outgrew each other, like your like leaps and bounds beyond this dude. Like you broke up with him last time. Like, you know, he's awful to you. He makes you feel like shit. What the fuck? And I meet crying was like, I feel like I've lost a kid.
Tully Smyth: [00:54:41] You told me this. Right.
Abbie Chatfield: [00:54:42] And it's not the weirdest thing. And I was like, I feel like I've been taking care of someone for so long and like, thinking about his needs. And now I have no like purpose without taking care of him. So when I hear things about him still, I'm like, like, how can I fix it? I'm as much as his friend, I was, I had heard this about, about what's his name about blah, blah, blah.
Um, Is he okay. And he was like, yeah, dude, he's fine. And I was like, but I feel like he's not. So I'm like, I'm just, you know, it's just really fucked analysis. Just fucking draw you in.
Tully Smyth: [00:55:11] I, yeah, every time we talk about him, I just, there's so many similarities. And so I can, I can empathize and, and I've, I've been there and it's fucking so damaging and it's so hard to get out.
Like I just feel like even the other day, um, Mikey's always was like, Oh no, I think that the reason you're not giving. Everyone knows who he is now, Michael and actual affair go is because you're still, when you were cutting of the tie ceremony, um, it's just like, you don't, you don't think you deserve it.
And so he's trying to love you. He shouldn't be kind to you and you're like, Oh, what is that like? Ah,
Abbie Chatfield: [00:55:48] Oh my God, a friend, a friend of that. I was like, do you think he deserve. Donny I'm on my mind as I'm like,
Tully Smyth: [00:55:55] I fucking hopeless. We can't keep praying, keep our own secrets,
Abbie Chatfield: [00:55:59] keep our own private life. Private.
There's no need, it's our podcast. There's no need to say these things. And I'm like,
Tully Smyth: [00:56:06] guys, I can edit it.
Abbie Chatfield: [00:56:08] And I'm like, fine guys. Now what's on the mic. Um, but she was like, you think you just said daddy? And I said crying. I was like, no fucking nice person.
Tully Smyth: [00:56:18] It's so. It's I feel like I'm in such a spiderweb, but I I'm trying, it's such a process every time I feel like I'm moving forward, I'm getting better.
I'm even when she was saying this Jenelle was saying that she was like, you know, you need to cut. You need to say his name. You need to cut his guy. You know, you need to let it go, blah, blah, blah, blah. And the whole time she was baking, I was listening. But whole time I was like, all I wanted to do in that moment was run to him.
What the, the guy, her even saying, you got to cut him. You got to, I was like, I was like,
Abbie Chatfield: [00:56:50] I have plans.
Tully Smyth: [00:56:51] I was like, I need to, I need to actually physically touch him. I might not. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
Abbie Chatfield: [00:56:55] But truly I have, I had not actual plans, but when I, when I heard this thing about my ex and when he, so he, he actually blocked me for the first time, which is the best thing he could do for me.
I'm actually stoked about this. But he bought me, obviously it still hurts. And it's upsetting cause know that before and I, when she was, this is so fucked for a split second. So I'm in fucking quarantine. I was like, all right, when you get home, go to his house, like go to his house and be like, I know you need me.
Yeah. If he does who the, what the fuck? Like,
Tully Smyth: [00:57:27] why didn't you, I had those thoughts. I've had so many of these thoughts before when things have been really bad and, and, um, he know he's ignored me for weeks on end. And I've said, I've said. Literally a hundred begging pleading messages. Please just talk to me like, please, please.
Just talk to me, please. Just talk to me. Um, I've thought like, you know, if I sound psychotic, it's like, if I fell down the stairs and broke something in a hospital, if I got in a car crash, he'd come and see me come and see me. And it would all be fine. Well, realize that like, well,
Abbie Chatfield: [00:57:58] He realized that he actually loves me and he's worried about me.
Yeah. I, so I had that thing with my ex, um, until, cause he actually was always there for me when I actually needed him. Like even like moving house. He, if I was like, I need you for this. He would come. Or if like something happened, my, when my uncle, my grandmother broke her hip before she passed away, like two years before he would follow through.
If he wasn't. If he was mentally. Okay. But when grandma died and he wasn't there for me, then it kind of was at this thing. I'm like, this is the worst thing that's ever happened to me. If I, I put back on my still every day and it's like been five months, I still cry about it every day. Like, I can't like say I saw, I took it for the day.
I would go with her grandma with Denny and. Um, I was like, is it your grandma? You should get. And I was like, okay, that's what it, ed cried at the whole mud, the whole motorbike ride home. Like I was in a new day. Like I was like, like I still am supposed to my grandma. It's like worst it's ever happened to me.
And he wasn't there for me. And I was like, this proves I could fucking break my leg. I could fucking get sick. I could have, I could have, you know, I could have a mental break and I could be in a psych ward. I could have all these things in my head. I've had that thing of this split-second moment of like, if I was hurt, I know he'd come.
And now I know he fucking won't. If it doesn't suit him, he won't,
Tully Smyth: [00:59:17] it kind of I've wished before I'm like, Oh, I just. He'll do something really bad. And I'm like, you know what, not, this is too far. I'm glad he's done this because I can't come back from this. I can't defend this to my friends anymore. I can't defend him to myself.
And then like a week later on my Stripe back. Anyway, how are you healing from this? Cause I know that you say as a college is regulating very open about that, which I love, um, doing a lot of work on yourself, which I think is commendable. All right. I
Abbie Chatfield: [00:59:46] actually, a big thing is talking, has been talking to you about, because we do have similar patterns in going back and it's actually helped me a lot because I think like, cause you would like, we keep each other the same
Tully Smyth: [00:59:58] content
Abbie Chatfield: [01:00:00] coming around.
But the thing is when you have friends that aren't in economic cystic cycle and they are in like these healthy relationship, like you just said that like you don't
Tully Smyth: [01:00:08] get it. Like it's just so high.
Abbie Chatfield: [01:00:12] Like.
Tully Smyth: [01:00:14] You almost like it's where I take all of his pain for that one high. If I hit what you
Abbie Chatfield: [01:00:18] want, it it's like a
Tully Smyth: [01:00:18] fixed, she gets an addiction.
You're like, if I just get one more night with him, like that night cuddling unhappy with the next two weeks of being
Abbie Chatfield: [01:00:24] ignored. Babe. It is an actual fucking addiction. Like I literally was thinking that I was like, if I just got to hug him one more time, like, I like it would be a cog him in bed. Like it would be beyond anything but talking to you cause you're as tragic as I am.
But also because you and I were not dumb and we're smart and we know we're not the most annoying. It's like, we should know better.
Tully Smyth: [01:00:44] We are smart. We're self-aware we know what we're doing and yet we're still painting it. Does that make a fucking actually I'm saying no,
Abbie Chatfield: [01:00:50] I think we're just. We're just people with emotions as humans.
And I think we're very emotional, very like, Oh, like I think we give out old relationships and I think it's hard when it's kind of from back in your face or partially for him back partially kept then and want more and more and more than like, fuck you. And you're like fucked up,
Tully Smyth: [01:01:05] but I think talk bread crumbing.
You're like, Oh, that's
Abbie Chatfield: [01:01:07] just
Tully Smyth: [01:01:08] yummy. And then like,
Abbie Chatfield: [01:01:10] I used to say it. Oh, my God. I used to say at my ex I'd be like, it feels like I'm a hamster in a little hamster cage and there's that little weird thing with the ball. I drink water on orders and I, and it's like a little drop at a time. And if I press a button, like if I'm like, ah, I'm crying, I know that somebody got the water.
Tully Smyth: [01:01:28] you don't think we're making that into a video clip, sadly mistaken, because that is just.
Abbie Chatfield: [01:01:36] And it's like, and then you got a little led droplets and you're like, yes, affection and the waters out. And you're like, what the fuck? And then one day it's full again. And you're like, Oh, so like that I think really helps.
Tully Smyth: [01:01:48] this analogy of
Abbie Chatfield: [01:01:53] and then one day you get a bottle of water and then for weeks you get nothing. And then I'm like, He has a droplet to keep you
Tully Smyth: [01:01:58] alive. We're actually hostages, like we're in a hostage situation and they're giving us the bare minimum to keep us alive, but not enough to like, make us, you know, happy, go free,
Abbie Chatfield: [01:02:06] happy at
Tully Smyth: [01:02:06] all.
Actually. Can I ask you a question? Do you know, I'm sure you do. Do you know your love languages and what order they're in?
Abbie Chatfield: [01:02:12] Yeah, so, um, well I've actually Danny again also, I'm wondering though,
Tully Smyth: [01:02:17] I'm going to say you mentioned it as much.
Abbie Chatfield: [01:02:20] No, but, but, but he actually, okay. Even as a friend, we're not, we're not anything.
Well, not anything at all, what we're actually not.
Tully Smyth: [01:02:29] he didn't, I'm crazy.
Abbie Chatfield: [01:02:30] We're really good friends. And I feel like we're friends, plus we decided we're not friends had benefits or friends, our friends plus subscriptions, but like hold hands or we're not like dating.
Tully Smyth: [01:02:40] That's actually all I really fucking want.
Hey, like I was actually not, I didn't mean that I fucking love sex.
Abbie Chatfield: [01:02:46] No, but he's
Tully Smyth: [01:02:47] Danny, Danny basically like,
Abbie Chatfield: [01:02:49] because his, his love language, even with his friends is very much acts of service. And I think, I always thought mine was, um, uh, physical touch and quality time. But I think the reason why I fought that is because in my, like, emotional, like romantic, formative years, I got a guys who wouldn't give me quality time and would give me a lot of physical touch.
So I was like, kind of compensating. So I, all I crave was quality time, but like, fuck me. Can we play come out. But like, but like this, this guy, that
Tully Smyth: [01:03:24] guy I've just met
Abbie Chatfield: [01:03:25] this friend I've just met last week. Right? None of you would see my Instagram stories ever. Um, he like, he has been so good with like acts of service.
I, to the point where I would call him having a breakdown about like work and he'd be like, do you want me to write your like advice article for you?
Tully Smyth: [01:03:43] And like, he used to have one in Dolly magazine, so he couldn't know
Abbie Chatfield: [01:03:46] how she could write. And I'm like, Oh, they told me how many podcasts you get your podcast.
Can I like
Tully Smyth: [01:03:51] boy, a boy?
Abbie Chatfield: [01:03:53] And it's like, Even as a friend, I'm like that level of like acts of service has, I may realize that like, perhaps my love languages have actually been formed by what I've lacked and when I've had extreme experience in like, I would be fucking my ex-boyfriend four times a day, like obsessed with each other, but then he'd leave randomly.
And he would never, he would never do extra service. He would never do get giving units. So I didn't know
Tully Smyth: [01:04:16] that I think it evolves and changes over time. Like you should do the quiz. We should go off this chapter. Well,
Abbie Chatfield: [01:04:22] I've done the quiz a million times, actually the quizzes for the bachelor in Buxton paradise.
And you have to do the quizzes. Yes. I figured out like could have matched you with, and yeah, it's really weird. So like I've done the quiz. I don't, if podcast I make, Oh, I might've got the, got the terror Cod guy and let him do it at dinner. Like also make
Tully Smyth: [01:04:41] my day to do it. It's crazy of us to do that. Hey, just
Abbie Chatfield: [01:04:44] quickly.
Can you just do this like
Tully Smyth: [01:04:46] hundred questions really quick though? Really
Abbie Chatfield: [01:04:47] quick. Just. And I'm like, do you understand the question you want me to explain
Tully Smyth: [01:04:51] with an example?
Abbie Chatfield: [01:04:53] Like, so I, I think that, I think that I need is a healthy way right now to answer your question. It's like physical touch and, um, quality time.
But I think
Tully Smyth: [01:05:03] that
Abbie Chatfield: [01:05:03] it probably is more so like acts of service and quality time, you know?
Tully Smyth: [01:05:08] Yeah. Mine is acts of set my mind guys, access service, quality time, physical touch with affirmations, I think. Yes. I think gifts a lost,
Abbie Chatfield: [01:05:17] um,
Tully Smyth: [01:05:20] me too. Me too. But I just don't think
Abbie Chatfield: [01:05:22] the
Tully Smyth: [01:05:22] question is always like, would you rather, um, some alone time with your partner or present, you never going to pick the fucking president?
I, unless you're, although this is controversial though, because I said it before on the podcast, I am actually going on a date with him tonight. I, um, I was talking to this guy on a dating app and I made him do the quiz. Obviously, and he had gifts, number one. And I was like, I don't think you're the guy for me.
Abbie Chatfield: [01:05:45] But see, I would see gifts as well. Like I love my favorite, my like ultimate little, like. And this is very specific, very niche gift giving energy is when you go to a server, if you're like, if you drive into the coast or like, if they get you like your favorite Chucky, like a bat, but she makes me like,
Tully Smyth: [01:06:06] nothing makes me Whit up than st when you're seeing a guy.
And he goes into the surf and to pay for the pitcher when he comes out with a treat unexpected surprise. Now is it like, it's great. I don't care what the fuck it is. Honestly, get me back a cheat. I was like, fucking, you're so cute. But if he, like, if he like gets me a 12, 12 error, I'm like,
Abbie Chatfield: [01:06:28] That. Yeah. That's like that.
That's that's, what's nice. I mean, I think, I think it's hard. So I tell, I think again, looks at being in such dysfunctional relationships, like, like my exercising, my ex is not the only fucked person.
Tully Smyth: [01:06:42] Oh no, neither. Let's not put it all in one person,
Abbie Chatfield: [01:06:44] but he is the big one, but like, I've had nice guys in between, but like there have been guys before who were like verbally abusive who were just fucking positive wise guys after they've been like a bit.
Focht that. Yeah, but like, I think in order to know my love language, if we need to be in like an actual stable, nice relationship with a person, like a precious me, I still do crave physical touch a lot. Um, I think I just kinda need an all round of everything.
Tully Smyth: [01:07:15] Isn't an ideal, right? I mean, some people, yeah, so
Abbie Chatfield: [01:07:18] like Danny, uh, are like acts of service and when I'm like, Well, I'm thinking play right him with the podcast or Amy.
Tully Smyth: [01:07:26] Yeah. Anyway, thanks. You spoken about this affair. So I don't get to say we, we have just touched and confirmed that you are single at the moment. Um, you've also recently come out as BI and I actually had a fucking at you. Because I was like, fuck you, bitch. First of all, well, how do I not know this before the I'm reading about it in the daily mail?
Secondly, I was like, as someone who took it personally, I was like, as someone who is publicly by fuck, he's not telling me first. It's a whole straight go thing where it's like, why haven't you? You don't may like, what
Abbie Chatfield: [01:07:57] did I, then I had to go at you. Cause I was like, why haven't you asked me out? And you're not my type, but I was like, what the fuck do you care if I haven't asked you yet?
So you're my type. I'm like a femme energy. I said, well, the go last week, actually I was really proud of myself. Did you how'd you go? Yeah, it was really good. I had to ask how to eat pussy, cause I haven't done it in a few years, but I, um, I finally would have the cards and found a girl that I was attracted to and it was fun.
Um, but yeah, and then I did, and then I I've decided that I'm either like, or like, Oh, I'm going to get canceled for this. Oh, I don't want to say what I I'll tell. I'll text you. When I wanted to say here, I feel like I'm like, like full lesbian or like I'm like the full percent by like, I might it's either, either I might repressing some shit or I just like having sex with girls and like bisexual, but hetero, romantic.
Tully Smyth: [01:08:50] Yeah, right. I say lesbian. I said, I was, I sat with 70, 30. I thought I was 70% gay. 30% straight. Yeah. I hide my voice, headed there to buy. I don't know why I've always struggled with it. Um, yeah, it doesn't really, it doesn't really.
Abbie Chatfield: [01:09:04] Describe me probably.
Tully Smyth: [01:09:06] I mean, these days I'm so fucking confused, but, um,
Abbie Chatfield: [01:09:08] I just feel like I'm like, Oh, I come into it's like so cliche, but like, I like who I liked, but I genuinely didn't dislike
Tully Smyth: [01:09:14] the personality on the sexuality,
Abbie Chatfield: [01:09:16] but like there were some, there was some, there's also really weed as a woman.
Do you find this? Like, there are a lot of beautiful, really attractive women. There are so many, like you walk into a pub and there's like a hundred HOK girls and there's like maybe one half hot guy and you can baby attracted to. One of them, but you know, physically girls are attracted, but I find when, um, when, when there's one guy who is like conventionally attractive, I will always want to fuck him.
Tully Smyth: [01:09:42] So it makes sense. Yeah. Yeah.
Abbie Chatfield: [01:09:44] Makes sense. So like, and it's so weird. I don't get what it is. I mean, it's vibes like energy and I bet he even girl, but like feminine looking with like masculine energy and that's what I, yeah. How many
Tully Smyth: [01:09:55] you say before that you are in to tell you it's Holly, you said that you're not, yeah.
It's Italian. Is that what you.
Abbie Chatfield: [01:10:02] I did say that, Jess, thank you. So I, so fucking tallies, like, why wouldn't you tell me a BI also, why bunny hit on me? And I was like, okay, well you want to go on a date then tell you she has night
Tully Smyth: [01:10:14] because I said I would go on a date with you. But
Abbie Chatfield: [01:10:17] babe, it's too far gone now. I feel like I'm set time.
Tully Smyth: [01:10:22] Right? It's a bit weird for me because you, I do feel like your big sister, like, you feel like you feel like a little, if you're off my mini me, like, I feel like you're a mini version of me and I drift, as I said, I literally used the word, like mother hand or like mother dark.
Abbie Chatfield: [01:10:34] That's a little bit like fucking 40
Tully Smyth: [01:10:35] anymore.
Abbie Chatfield: [01:10:36] Definitely we'd have like a really like feisty, aggressive relationship with the same person. It would be like, Like, I like my mom, like, she's the same person as me and I get so frustrated with her because she's me. So I feel like we would get very, like,
Tully Smyth: [01:10:48] I will, um, I will say you did send me a pretty fucking sexy video.
When was it?
Abbie Chatfield: [01:10:57] What did I send you?
Tully Smyth: [01:11:00] What did I say? Where I am is fucking amazing. I'm like cool set
Abbie Chatfield: [01:11:05] lunch array.
Tully Smyth: [01:11:06] I thought you would have shown me the lump drag. Cause you went to my friend, baby likes to pony in Sydney and down at the most amazing Andre shop in Sydney owned by my friend, Meg. But you, so I said, you'd been there or something.
And I was like, Oh, what'd you get? And you sent me a video and I'm just watching a video. And I'm like, Oh, she looks amazing. And then I was like,
Abbie Chatfield: [01:11:21] Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh, I put, see was showing, wasn't it
Tully Smyth: [01:11:26] touching yourself?
Abbie Chatfield: [01:11:27] Oh, yeah, I was babe, I'm just gonna move. So I want
Tully Smyth: [01:11:31] you, it's just going to be a fun daily Mac
Abbie Chatfield: [01:11:34] off Addie Chatfield molests.
That's a sexually assaults also
Tully Smyth: [01:11:40] claim I, I meant to tell you this. I dunno, I didn't. I think I even screen grabbed it to send to you, but didn't send to you, um, Well, I've put up. That's why I'm like, how did this come about? I put up a throwback photo of Denny, uh, Ruby Rose. And I from like when we were kids.
Oh, I saw that it was so
Abbie Chatfield: [01:11:54] cute. So
Tully Smyth: [01:11:54] cute. Cute. And, um, Danny responded to, it was hung up on like, you know, babies are high and then we had a brief check-in um, Oh, what did he say? He was like, Aw. Someone said to me, Oh, that would be a really hot threesome. You Ruby rising Danny. And I told him that and he was like, Oh my God, can you imagine that threesome?
And I was like, dude, I'd be terrified of you both. Like, you're both a
Abbie Chatfield: [01:12:14] lot.
Tully Smyth: [01:12:15] And then I think one of, I don't know who it was him humor may fuck. But one of us was like, I think. Without talking about a threesome with you. Me and Danny,
Abbie Chatfield: [01:12:22] babe, I just must have heard it about a threesome with Danny and a mysterious girls.
So maybe we could like set that
Tully Smyth: [01:12:28] I'm terrified of police serious. I'm terrified of Denny's Dick.
Abbie Chatfield: [01:12:33] Kelly's going to Sydney for
Tully Smyth: [01:12:35] Christmas. So I am, I'm
Abbie Chatfield: [01:12:36] actually going to be in Sydney then
Tully Smyth: [01:12:37] as well. We honestly, I'm
Abbie Chatfield: [01:12:40] going to be in Sydney in December sometime.
Tully Smyth: [01:12:42] I'm terrified. Nice painters. I'm terrified for whoever is around us. When we finally get to meet in real life, like it's going, it's going to be so fucked.
It's going to be so boozy. It's going to be so loud. Like I'm so excited. I feel sorry for whatever mutual friend where we're like, we'll take a hundred dollars.
Abbie Chatfield: [01:13:04] We'll
Tully Smyth: [01:13:04] probably go through alone
Abbie Chatfield: [01:13:06] time. Cause I feel like the, the front.
I'm actually mushy, you have alone time because as a, I feel like whoever's, the third person will like, feel like a bit left out. And I do mean in the threesome and in the conversation, like, I feel like Denny,
Tully Smyth: [01:13:24] I feel like
Abbie Chatfield: [01:13:24] if we had a free some with Denny, but she would just be like, can you be like, guys, can I like,
Tully Smyth: [01:13:29] hi, I'm still.
Abbie Chatfield: [01:13:31] We'd be only having sex and he'd be like, can I touch a tit? Like
is there any info in here? Like I have the biggest Dick in Australia
Tully Smyth: [01:13:40] and you
Abbie Chatfield: [01:13:40] got to not like,
Tully Smyth: [01:13:42] then you read the roommate, show yourself out by the corner and film it. Sit in the corner. I'm filming in case Abby and I ever get broke again. And we need to sell that
Abbie Chatfield: [01:13:51] did only fans energy. Have you ever joined?
Only fans are three. I haven't. I'm
Tully Smyth: [01:13:55] surprised you don't have an early fans?
Abbie Chatfield: [01:13:57] No, I have time. My agent mileage, she like, I have time to make the content, like actually, like he takes me on the side. He was like, bye. I was like, Aw, a new only fans video. Never the fuck. I sent him something weird probably. And he was like, babe, you don't have time for that content.
Tully Smyth: [01:14:10] I'll tell you what, I've got a great video if you need one.
Abbie Chatfield: [01:14:14] All right guys. I'm sorry. Sorry to wrap this up. One final question for
Tully Smyth: [01:14:18] you, Abby. What's next for you? What
Abbie Chatfield: [01:14:20] exciting projects do you have coming up?
Tully Smyth: [01:14:22] What's going on?
Abbie Chatfield: [01:14:24] Oh, my God, babe. I'm trying to write a book. I've got the book. Yeah. Um, it's called slot.
Um, but it's like, so let's unpack that
Tully Smyth: [01:14:33] genie
Abbie Chatfield: [01:14:34] that wasn't thought of by me. So when I publish it, everyone's like, that's so smart of you. And I just can't take credit for that. Like it was the, it
Tully Smyth: [01:14:40] was the publisher brilliant there.
Abbie Chatfield: [01:14:41] Yeah. It's really brilliant. Um, so, and it's basically like a little like.
Maybe feminist book, um, that I'm I'm writing, but like we say that in quotation marks and, um, that's about it, babe. Like nothing else excited. I'm trying to just continue this.
Tully Smyth: [01:14:56] This has been so fun. I thought we've actually got to hang
Abbie Chatfield: [01:14:58] out. I know, got
Tully Smyth: [01:15:00] a little booze together
Abbie Chatfield: [01:15:02] on my podcast, but I feel like if we're incidence, same time, we'll just do it in person
Tully Smyth: [01:15:05] then.
Yeah. I would have loved to have done this in person, but I needed to probably just going to be easy to do it. Like. Um, Jess, I'm so sorry that you didn't get a single word in with that chef
Abbie Chatfield: [01:15:16] Tommy halfway through going, this is just great chat. I'm not going to interrupt
Tully Smyth: [01:15:19] the killing. And I said, bless her heart.
I, um, I had two big interviews this week, one with my ex-boyfriend, who Jess had a crush on when he was on the show. So he choose
Abbie Chatfield: [01:15:31] that's too many. It's
Tully Smyth: [01:15:33] not mean to be fair. They're just like the ones that we've brought like Danny definitely. Uh,
Abbie Chatfield: [01:15:38] Okay. Wow. It's a competition.
Tully Smyth: [01:15:41] We're friends, but don't worry. I'm a good gal.
Like ex-boyfriends were off limits. Um, who else is there? That's kind of eat. Isn't it. She was great. But then I said, she said, she knows about Abby too. I was like, what? Abby am I? It should be fine. She goes, no, but you two are just so you're both such big personalities. She's like, like you had to keep up.
So maybe you just felt more comfortable
Abbie Chatfield: [01:16:03] just sitting here enjoying it. I could have found her safe.
Tully Smyth: [01:16:06] We didn't, I didn't have that. We didn't, we usually just didn't even follow the fruit. We usually stick to the run. I knew he wouldn't know. I kind of didn't even want to fill it out. Yeah. I
Abbie Chatfield: [01:16:12] mean, people always make structures and I'm on listened to me and I'm like, ignore.
So I guess something happened.
Tully Smyth: [01:16:17] Yeah. Um, but thank you so much. It is the CFA's. I wish you all the best in whatever you're up to.
Abbie Chatfield: [01:16:24] So we could have been tortured. I wish she worked the best in your life and
Tully Smyth: [01:16:29] Conrad gods. Um, tell us rapping. I'm having slept for the podcast, but I'll probably tell, probably fucking text you in a second.
Um, guys, thank you so much for tuning in as always, you can catch too much Tali. When I release new podcasts, you can find some Instagram. Too much Tali and I will see you next Tuesday.