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Hello and welcome to Episode Three of too much Tully. We have Jess here as always, hi Jess. Hey, hey, so this morning I decided to take control of the alcohol choice. I was a bit early as per usual and I thought you know what just know you have a sleeping I'm gonna grab the alcohol for the episode. So I grabbed my favourite which is the bird in hand sparkling just as you will see it has quite a baby pink tinge has a nice lush, it's really nice. Okay, Jess, so talk me through what's happening on today's episode. What are you talking about? You've had a lot of feedback about the fears of turning 30 so the first episode we touched on it briefly. And the feedback was that that's something that a lot of people are stressed about, which was so comforting. And then last night knowing we had the chat today I asked my followers about some of the misconceptions or stresses or things that were panicked about, you know, either when though wood turning 30 or had turned 30. We're going to get to some of those questions later in the episode. And we've also got a special guest which is super exciting. So excited. We have no grain on today. She's a Canadian. elegist and she has helped me navigate through some of the roughest periods of my life. Especially right when I turned 30 so I'm really psyched to have her on, Jess. Let's do it.

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Let's just you

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have massive teeth so they catch it. I can't help it. Maybe just keeping your mouth in the fucking Ross Crockett crumbs. Olivia wasn't saving it for light. I just read about this later on, but we're gonna get serious. This is this is a serious talking about my Ross Caracas. Sorry, regarding me. You've rattled me. Okay. In Episode One, we got to know a little bit more about yourself. And you touched on when you turned 30 and some of the things that you faced. You know, when you did hit that milestone age. I'd really love for you to talk us through what you went through. What experiences you had. Yeah, talk you through it too. To the mini meltdown. So basically you know what thinking back on the way here this morning, I was thinking back I actually first felt the pressures at 25. Which might sound ridiculous considering how young 25 is, but I remember if my 25th birthday, it was really important to me to like, do something really like being an adult for it. Me and my ex girlfriend, Talia, we went to New York, and I just felt like, I needed to do something like that, showing that I had succeeded enough that I could travel to New York and turning 25 in New York City. I felt like oh, you know, like I'm you know, doing things right. I remember feeling the pressures at 25 being like, I'm not where I thought I would be in my life. Then living up to 30 I remember turning 29 and basically from the minute I turned 29 I was just packing it I was just so stressed. I nearly every single day I would wake up and just the minute open my eyes and I sort of came to I was like I don't have a you know, I don't love my job. I'm single and have been for many years now. I'm renting I don't own a house. I literally am living paycheck to paycheck. Like, I still am living paycheck to paycheck. I've never been good with money. I don't have any savings. When people are like, Oh, you know, I'm so poor, but they told me that, you know, they're forgetting their savings. I don't have a savings account. And I have a little nest egg somewhere sitting for me.

You know, I, and people around me I think if you've got these pressures on yourself, that you put on yourself that society puts on you, you know, ever since you're a little girl and you're reading Cosmo, or whatever magazine, and I studies always this big flashing edge, isn't it? Like it's this age of like, you feel like you're an adult when you hit 30 I remember study feeling so old, like when you first spoke about 30 year olds, you had a friend who had a 30 year old sister or it just seemed like so far away. And then suddenly, you know, I was I was approaching that birthday. And I just felt like I just wasn't where I thought I should be in my life. I hadn't achieved enough. You know, I still didn't really know who I was. I was still getting fucking hammered and waking up and eating KFC in bed. And I just felt like I was failing. I think what it was like I was failing at life like I hadn't. I was I was behind I felt really left behind. Because so many of my friends were in long term relationships. They were living with their partners. They bought their first property they were some of them are renovating a property like renovating. I know, I couldn't even change a light bulb like, and you guys are renovating your own apartment. Even silly things like I felt like because I didn't have a dog. Yeah, like I wasn't winning or I wasn't doing life. Right. I think you know, there's a few common ones you career your children, the house, the house engaged. Oh, that's something that I every weekend someone else. Tell me honestly. And you and I have our single single as fuck? Oh, I was very aggressive clearly passionate about this. Yeah, I was single. Yeah, it's tough. Hey, yeah, every honestly and it's tough because you wouldn't be happy with your friends and I am I truly am. And when I send messages or I call you or I send flowers, please know that I'm truly happy for you. But um I'm not going to pretend like it doesn't stay, right, because we also want that, of course. And that has been something that since I was a little girl, you know, I remember being five years old, and I would rip up magazines and I would cut pitches out and I had I had a Wedding Scrapbook. I literally had a physical clad glue, Wedding Scrapbook that I loved. And that's all I've ever wanted, you know, getting married and marriage and kids and babies especially I'm so lucky. I'm so maternal. And any of my friends can attest to how maternal I am. It's almost overbearing. But that's all I want for myself. And I really thought by now I'd have it I thought that my five year plan was engaged by 25. Married by 31st. Kid by 31. Yeah, but I think that's part of the issue in that society makes us feel like we're on a timeline and we should be following some chronological order of finding the person getting a dog. Yep. Then getting engaged, getting the house to get the dream Korea that we're supposed to be having as well. It's society. Yeah, that's absolutely true. I believe you would that but also, unfortunately for us, and it's only us because it's not the guys it's that biological clock and it's such a cliche, but that's statistically seriously a fucking issue. You know, as soon as you hit 30 our eggs apparently to start, you know, drying up and dying or like running away from us, I'm going to fuck that guy. But apparently we have no good eggs after 30 and if you want kids, you know, that's something that's constantly on your mind. And I think that I'm at the spot now where I've you know, you jokingly say to friends in the past if I was accidentally if I accidentally became pregnant to someone I you know, I wasn't with abortion would probably be my usual voter and it's like, now I'm 3032 I'd have to seriously consider that. Yeah. Because whether I'm with the guy or not, I want kids and I don't know if I'm going to get another chance like that in itself is terrifying. But I digress. So when I turned 30 I was a big lead up. I was feeling the pressures. I even said to my my best friend at the time at my 29th birthday. potty. I said to Jen, if I'm still single this time next year, so at my 30th birthday, I was like, just kidding, just take me at the back of shoot me. I really thought that I would at least have someone to share my birthday with. And then I didn't. I had met a guy. And as you sort of touched on in Episode One, I'd met a guy and I thought it was going well and stupidly thought that because I'd met someone that that met all my other, you know, insecurities and stresses and frustrations and pressures about turning 30 just magically disappeared. And then it all ended as quickly as it had begun. And I was I was again alone and single and I don't quite know what happened just but like something. I think it must have been a build up. I think probably my anxiety was kind of building up and snowballing and I was it was easy for me to ignore that. Rather than face it and deal with it because I had this new guy in my life and I was so enamoured with him, you know, he could do nothing wrong and he you know, I was being whisked away for dinner at fancy dinners at friends suar and We went away to Noosa together I know all these you know, finally things. Basically all I've been wanting for so long with a guy that I really truly cared about and, and saw a future with. And then when that fell apart,

I something snapped and I kind of lost it. I was also I wanted to go away from my 30th I wanted to go to Bali and I in my head planned this trip for years with like, you know, six of my best friends and it came down to it and I booked the trip and only one of my girlfriends was making the trip. And like that was another it was just like one thing after another. And then after my 30th birthday, I'm not sure what happened, but I suddenly was convinced that I was showing early signs of early onset dementia, which is what I'm about. Yeah, so my mother recently a year ago passed from dementia she had it was struggling with it for 23 years. And she you know, I was 15 years old when she was diagnosed with it and I know what what that looks like. And at first it is little things like forgetting you've already bought milk or forgetting your car's parked in the supermarket. And so I was going through such a stressful time and I was in such a bad place mentally that I was suddenly doing those little things. I was suddenly forgetting the security code to the place that I was working at. I was someone who had previously always been the person, you know, if you're at a party, and there's someone walking towards you, and they're like, Hi, I was always the person that my friend would turn to and say, Oh, my God, oh my God, fuck, Who is that? Who is that? Who is that? And I'd be like, Okay, so that's Becky. She used to work here. She's friends with blah, blah, blah, dating, blah, blah, blah, so and so. And suddenly, I was meeting people at events and they'd say, Hi, you know, I'm, I'm Sarah, and they would walk away and I would instantly go What the fuck What? And I my brain has hadn't retained it. And this was building and building and building and I suddenly was convinced that I was showing signs of early onset dementia. So much so to the point that I told my best friend ventually because I needed it was sort of bubbling away, it was festering, I said, look, I think that, um, you know, I'm forgetting names, I'm forgetting numbers that I know I'm, you know, I just know I know what this looks like and this is it, I'm telling you this is it. She was obviously very concerned. And at this point I'd been withdrawing from my friends I hadn't been eating, I wasn't eating because with my anxiety and everyone's different with my anxiety, I'm often quite nauseous. When you're constantly in fight or flight mode, and you're constantly on the edge of your seat panic, that's a really nauseous feeling. So when I'm super anxious, I just don't eat I have no appetite and so I wasn't eating muscle this way. I've withdrawn from my friends. I truly and it sounds silly now. I can't quite laugh about it because it was a really traumatic time but like, got to the point where I was walking down the street and I'd see a young family or I'd see a couple and I'd get really teary because I truly thought that wasn't going to be my reality. I really resigned to the fact that I was dying. Truly and I to the point where I was so convinced I had it that I didn't want to talk to my family about it because I couldn't do that to my dad. This is how I this is how convinced I was that I had it. I didn't want to tell dad how I've been feeling and my concerns because I was like you've, you've you're already suffering with a wife with it, you won't be able to survive your daughter having it too. So it's really, really scary time. had you gone and seen someone about it? No. So I that was kind of so as my girlfriend I spoke to and this is why I stress so much it's so important to reach out and speak to your friends when you're feeling like this because it's it's you know, you can you can come up with all kinds of doom and gloom situations and and what ifs in your head. It really, really helps to bounce off somebody else, especially someone who is in that position mentally. So they've got a bit of, you know, clarity and they've got a bit of objectiveness they're not in your brain, which is a really scary place. Sometimes they're able to see things for what they truly are. And she suggested that look, I'm really worried about you. You're not in a good place. I wasn't serious. But it was pretty dark. Yeah. And so I went and got myself a psychologist who was amazing. And she actually coincidentally, her mother also had early onset dementia, which was, I think I remember exhaling and just breathing out for the first time in so long, I was like, Oh my god, okay, someone actually understands what that's like. Because for those that don't know, it can be linked hereditary. So there is a high chance that I do have that in my future, which is something for another time, because that is something that plagues me every day. And she said, look, I think that at this point, you are so worked up and it is so debilitating, that we've got to, I think we've got to get tested,

or at least do the early testing for that, which is a cognitive testing. She's like, I think that at this point, you're living your life as if it's already over. And by doing this test You're either going to get a solution, you know, I respond to that. Yep, you're right. And you are showing early signs or you're going to get a release in some comfort that you know, maybe it's something else and other way you can deal with it and kind of move on totally issues like it's beyond because I've always said that I don't want to get the genetic testing because, to me, that's a death sentence. And I don't want to know when I'm going to die, and I just feel like I'd rather just leave my life to the extreme and you know, live my life is too much totally and, and just make the most of my life and then worry about that, that matrac, then no, now that's going to happen to me, like To me, that's a lose, lose. But she said, you know, at this point with your mental state and where you are right now, I don't see another option. And she was so lovely. And she really helped me through it. And we spoke about stuff as well. So I went and got cognitive therapy testing, which for those who aren't aware, you know, at first it's like a bunch of fun games, like, you know, here is this picture, remember it and now draw it again. A lot of memory testing. You know, I'm gonna you know, here is Some building blocks, I'm going to build something. Can you copy that? It felt silly at first, I'm like one of my total like, of course, I can fucking Copy that. But then interestingly, and it was over it was pretty intense and like our sessions, over three appointments and I left every session exhausted, I was already not in a good place, mentally and I just left feeling zapped all my energy drained, so drained. Also, hilariously thinking while I was doing these tests, is that that I was right. I was still so I was like, Yeah, well, this is this is a waste of time, and I've got it. I was that far gone. And then the last day, this was what blew my mind and I get emotional talking about it every time I tell this story, so bear with me here. She read out a list of and she was a newer neurologist, know, a neuro psychologist, but she specialised in dementia. She'd worked in dementia Ward and she was specialised in this testing. She's that I'm gonna read you a list of words and their partners and then I'm going to ask you to regurgitate them back to me. She's like, some of them will make sense. It'll be like foot shoe. And so your brain very easily puts those two together and goes, Okay, she goes no foot foot shoe, because others won't be it'll be like wish tree. And you're like, Wait what? Or be like, Chair plain you like my case that's not quite as easy to put together. Anyway, she wrote like, read me honestly. And it was a long list when she started she'd be like, trip, you know, Chair plane foot shoe car. bed, and you know, sort of you they're just reading the mat and you're focusing really hard and you're like, trying to remember them. Oh, no, okay. Yep, got that one. Yep, got that one. Got that one. And then you're like, Fuck, she's still going. And you've already forgotten the first ones. It looks 50 pairs of words. Anyway, the first time you know she'd say, Okay, so, chair and I go play and then I got a few And then I got one or two wrong. And then as I got them wrong and wrong, like something's wrong with your brain. And then the more I got wrong, the more I got wrong. And eventually, I kind of just felt like I'd failed the whole thing, and I was getting quite flustered. And that's cool. That's all done now and moving on to the next one. And we did a couple of exercises. And then at the end of the church, okay, cool. That's all done now. Thank you so much how you feeling Bob? like should I put some few weekend Gemini plans? And I was sort of making small talk and just just before you leave, I'm just gonna go through that that those pairs one more time. And I got every single one, right, you kidding? No. And, sorry, she stopped me and she said, To me, this is the clearest indication to me that what you're experiencing is actually your anxiety. She says because the minute you relaxed, and the minute that you didn't feel like you're being tested, and that your brain just stopped worrying for a second and asked about your weekend. She was it was all there. Like you had the information. You just couldn't get it out because your brain is dying. congested and not and that tense right now. And that to me was just like, that's probably the I didn't really even need to hear her results for that for the three days of testing because it that to me made so much sense. And I think that I'd never you know, I never knew I thought that I knew what anxiety looks like because I experienced it my whole life and I'd had it since I was a kid. And, you know, I've been quite a worrywart since I was very little, and I thought that I understood anxiety and I thought I knew what it looked like because I you know, to me, it looked like the occasional panic attack. The occasional bout of nausea, I didn't realise, realise how it could manifest I didn't realise the basic could become I didn't realise that it could affect your memory like that. I really had no idea.

Obviously, the test results came back by the way, and I was above average, and literally every single category costs including the math, I'm terrible at math. Like I literally joke that I'm math just numbers dyslexic, which apparently isn't a thing, guys, you're either dyslexic or you're not dyslexic, but I'm terrible with numbers. And I even that which I found really harsh is like is to still well above average. Everything you know, and the results without you know, I can't tell you that maybe I can't tell you that you won't get dementia later in life but I'm just I'm telling you right now that you've got absolutely no indication of it, you're not showing any sign at all. Which is great to hear. But yeah, so I when I say that I had a mini meltdown when I turned 30 I really mean that I lost myself I lost my marbles for a bit and it was it was a really scary scary place and scary time for me. And so what does 30 mean to you now? It's funny because I you know, I did ask my Instagram followers for their thoughts on this and I actually saw this this pop up a few times. The minute you get past it, you don't even care about it anymore. Like basically, probably six months after I turned 30 I was like, oh, what why the hell was I so fucking stressed. Like, it's just a non event. It really it really isn't. It feels nice being outside of 30. Right? Because you're not as worried. No. So you also had a bit of a not as severe and traumatic as mine but talk us through what happened with you when you turned 30 are leading up to Turning 30 Yeah, so I think mine started to my worry started to manifest I suppose, the year before. So like when it hits? Yeah, it's the lead up as well as the actual birthday. No, because you are you've right, you're worried about turning 30. So it starts to play in your mind a little bit, but

I just remember I got promoted. And I got to this kind of senior level in my career. And I was like, cool. So what now? I was right. I was like, Well, you know, I'm killing it in my job. But I don't have a partner. I don't have a dog. I have kids. I wasn't really dating at that. At that point. I wasn't that happy in my career. And I was like, I just want to flip my fucking life upside down. I was like, I don't care. I just want to change. I was like, I just want everything to change. Amazing. I'm yeah, I'm proud of you for taking the initiative. But that's a really scary decision to make to completely throw your life on its head, especially after you know you obviously, we'd be working towards promotion, I worked really hard. And I think I got to that level fairly quickly. And I think I worked my ass off for the four and a half years leading up to that point. And I got there and I was like, What am I doing now, to actually enjoy what I'm doing? I love the people that I was around. Like, I had great mentors. I had great colleagues, but I was like, is the actual work that I'm doing meaningful? And is that what I want to do? And it's funny because I did quit my job and look where I am. I'm so glad you did. I know I'm so bad at it. So I'm innovating universe was telling you something. I think it's a thing where like, what is the perfect job all the great job of the great house? What does that even mean? If you're not sharing it with someone? Yeah. And I think that we really start to sort of question like, What does any of this worth? If I'm doing it alone? I agree. It's like, does in you saying that? You know, you've worked really hard for that job promotion. I'm sure you did. But it's like you then realising Do you even love what you're doing? I think that's where I've been a lot of the time as well with my job as an employee. One, sir. It's like, I am so grateful. And I do get to do so many amazing things. But am I changing the world? Am I am I being challenged every day? Am I using my degree? No. Which is why I love this podcast so much because for the first time in so long, I'm loving what I'm doing. You know, it's not making us any money yet, but I don't I do this for free for the rest of my life because I'm just so passionate about it. And, and it's it I truly walk out every time we record and every time I do any kind of podcast with anyone, I truly walk out on a high. Yeah. And I think that's a great thing about being 30 in that you can pivot. You can get to your 30s and you can realise what's happened in the past and what isn't aligning and then move forward. Is that like how last chance to do that? I think that kind of adds the pressure. It's like well, if I don't like what's happening now is now my only chance change. Like if I don't change after you know, am I stuck if I if I stick to this or I would hope not because I don't want to live my life like that. I think that 30 is a good opportunity for people to assess their 20s and you can probably attest to this. Did you have big 20s? I did have big 20s Yes, yes, I somewhat did too. You know, a lot of travelling, a lot of drinking, yeah, partying, that kind of thing. And I'm, I like drinking steel, but I'm ready to settle down, I'm ready to just live my life. I'm such a family person. I love my friends. I love my job at the moment. You know, I'm happy being who I am here and until I'm unhappy. I think that's great, though. I think it's great that you're able to say that i think that i think it's okay. And this is something that came through you know, when I did ask my followers you know, the concept of misconceptions and the pressures, I think, the most common thread and I was scrolling for a very long time. The most common thread was this this saying of like, you know, not having your shit together. And I definitely did not have my shit together at 30 do I have my shit together now at 32? Probably not. But do I feel Happy my mess yes I'm happy my mess and I'm happy not have my shit together and I think the most important thing is that you don't have to have your shit together at 29 3031 I mean, I know for a fact that I've got people in my life My dad is 74 and trust me guys, he's had his fucking shit together. I don't think anyone has issued together and I think that we need to try as a society or even just as this podcast community let's just all agree as a group to remove that that stigma and all that bullshit that comes with the pressure that come with turning 30 who fucking cares? Also, can we just talk about the fact that because of 2020 being an absolute right off surely we get a year in lieu like we're not gonna having a birthday this year. Like I'm not turning 33 in October I refuse but I turned 30 this year and I had to go through it. Just we didn't know each other back then. I would have helped you avoid that birthday or at least celebrate it and style. What How do you feel that Yeah, talk us through it. I had I had five people because that's all that he were allowed. Really walking shame, but it was so nice. All my girlfriend's came that could come. But everyone you have super special. Did you have to? Like call the list? How'd you pick your top five? It was nice. Well, the thing was that we have about 12 people in my girls group. And about half of them are parents, so they didn't want to come so no, which was Yeah, totally fair enough to have babies. They need to look after their kids. So it was just kind of not single girls, just gals it didn't have kids. I suppose you could drink. Isn't it weird as well? I think when you turn 30 that suddenly that that kind of thing you have to take into consideration like suddenly now my friends are wanting to have dinner at like 5:30pm and I'm sorry, that's when I stopped pre drinking. I don't know. Like Well, you know, little little Sarah you know has to go down like little Tommy gets really cranky off to seek something like fuck me drunk to the worst thing was I was at a wedding. In fact, a wedding of differenza vows. Steph mula and Joshua lost his Deaf classmates and Josh what a dream wedding Did you say that it did? If I hadn't been at that wedding, I would have been devastated like it was honestly, she's stunning. She they're both stunning. I love them both dearly. It was the it was just there was not. It was so beautiful. There wasn't a detail left attended to we all got to camp overnight and is amazing tense. It was truly, really, really, really fun. I don't wanna rub it in, but it was it was really as fun as it looked. My point is though, they played this hilarious game before the bride and groom into the reception tent. I think it was the best man, Carmen, but anyway, he said, Can I please have everybody stand rise to your face? And we all stood up as you do because you're at a wedding and you think okay, and we have to hear you do what you're told at a wedding. And then he said, Great, okay, if anybody in the room is married, please take a seat. Yeah, if anybody is engaged, please take a seat. If anybody is in a relationship, please take a seat. The remaining of you, please take a look around. These eruptions for tonight. Have a good night. That is brilliant is it just is it brilliant if you're one of maybe four people and the other two are like her 14 year old cousins. Like I looked across, I had Khan, my friend Khan on from Master Chef. He's obviously he's beautiful gay man. So, no, thank you. I had my girlfriend Laney who was standing up again, I don't swing that way anymore. And that was about it. Yeah, okay. But at least you knew what you're in for the rest of the night and you didn't have to worry about it. You could just go have fun. That's true, but I just feel like like how long How long will we be abroad to everyone's drugs? How long are us single 30 something year olds gonna be the brunt of all your fucking wedding drugs. So I'm about a mad dog. It happened again the same joke The same thing happened at another wedding. I can't even I haven't been to a wedding that's on that but I like it. So the next wedding happened to was actually my girlfriend Lisa. See won't shop on Instagram Lisa Hamilton and Lisa Sanctus now and Dan Sanctus. But this time again, we were staying away. It was a wedding that was you know, out of town and we were staying in a hotel and he literally gave My room number you can instead if anyone's off to Talia she's in room for two I'm like, and the saddest part Jess was that no one came to my fucking room. Well, I mean fair enough that would be daunting. No man I lifted open the jar all night

Are you dating? Are you 30 I am dating. I am dating I'm giving it a red hot crack I go through phases where I hit it really hard I get this mentality of like you've got to be in it to win it and like you know if you sit at home on your ass you're not gonna meet anyone. And I think as well in my industry, I go to the same events week in week out you know back when the world is running as normal. You know, I same people. Yeah, so I could be at this, you know, three, four or five events a week with literally same people. And you're not meeting anyone new. I've probably already dated half the guys I'm hanging out with so that's why I love dating apps so much because it really does give me access to a gentleman that I wouldn't normally maze. But yeah, I go through phases of hitting it really hard and putting myself out there. It not working out. me feeling deflated, going back into my hole for a bit. Getting lonely again, getting back on the apps kind of a cycle. It is such a cycle. I go through the same thing. We really need to get you back. I know you gave it a red hot crack for like one night on Hacker News for You. Oh, I know you've been holding out on me What the fuck we talk every day. I'm embarrassed to say this. Okay, guys, I have an aversion to dating apps because I it's just it just stresses me out because I constantly want to be funny. If they don't give me anything. You take it personal to take it personally. And particularly if they just like you photo and then you know you'll say something back and then they weren't replying or they'll invite you to start the conversation or something. I hate that. It's like if you've already given them a little bit if you're already showing you're interested in like thermea barn he might like why are you playing the Holy Trinity in caveum came thing doesn't really work online. You've got to both put in some effort to create that rapport. I agree. So wait, what's happened for me? I'm so angry with you for holding on to me. Did you say that just for the show. So it would B actually wasn't gonna bring this up. But hey, we had half a glass. Exotic. Sorry, I got back on. And I updated my profile, as you suggested, and I started talking to this guy. And we're in the same industry. He's in media. And this is so embarrassing because, like you listen to it. Well, I don't know. I haven't told him about this stuff, because I don't want him to listen to it just yet. But

yeah, like it's nothing at the moment, but I suggested doing a video chat on the weekend. Like who the fuck do I think I am? I don't do this stuff. And that and I was bullied at the time. You drugged me? Did you doing I did it yesterday. I did it yesterday. Do you say yes. Yeah, he did. And then I backtrack. Who knows? I just know what does your job now you're so used to doing this kind of stuff. I know. But I'm gonna. I don't know. Hopefully he says yes or not. Yes. He's already said yes. backtrack. What did you say? I just said, I'll fuck I'm nervous. Now. I was backtracking. That's just, that's you, meaning that you're nervous which is completely normal. Fair enough, but then he said he was nervous and sorry, I just don't want to be on a zoom call that is just a whole bunch of nervous people. Okay, take it from me because I've been doing I've been zoomed adding a couple of times during the eye. So the key is to have one or two glasses beforehand. Yeah, not more than that because it was hilarious Sally. No one likes Larry Sally. Or sloppy Sam neither have a couple of glasses, because we've seen before, you know, just loosen up a little bit. Another thing that I find really helps is to not put f like, I didn't, I don't change my outfit. I don't put makeup on. I'm like, you know what, we're all at home. This is a video cool. Anyway, the quality is great anyway, just flushes out the skin just wearing like a sloppy job. I had my hair like you know, whatever. And then you just kind of like he's gonna be awkward about it to this whole like video chat video dating thing is not the norm. That's how we have to adapt and pivot. And I think that if you have a couple of glasses suggest his heydrich brings a drink as well. Like make it for like a day and be like I'm going to get a drink. Make sure you have a drink and then you kind of like it. You're talking you realise a drink very quickly by the way Yeah, no no no i didn't i just made no I was like yeah no no no no not in general I mean when you're talking to someone because you don't have because you're not out and about and being distracted and like you've got people to talk to because you're literally just talking drinking talking drinking Yeah, the amount of times I had to be like I'm sorry, I was gonna duck to the kitchen again just to get refilled my glass again. Again I'm like yeah again Okay, drink drink shame me. But the best part about it obviously is that when you're done with the chat, you could just literally pass out in bed you already home. Okay, you need to do it that's positive you to do it if nothing else needs to it for the podcast. Have listeners have too much Telly want to support you and see you find love and happiness and this is the first step and I'm very proud of you as your mentor and an older sister in dating. As you're dating you're wow fuck if you're dating you're you're fucking in trouble. Hey, cuz I don't know what the fuck I'm doing come from nothing. Sorry. This is great. Great. So the bar is so large that I cannot fail. That is perfect. That is back on track at that time about dating today. That's another that's another episode back to turning 30 satin returns What are we? What's up next? I know you have a beautiful run sheet that for me, I do I do. So we've got a really exciting guest coming up Who is your friend? Yes, I'm so so excited guys. So jenelle green is my kinesiologist she met me during that time when I was going through mini meltdown. She has helped me navigate through my early 30s and she's incredible, incredible healer and she's gonna let us know all about what turnings it like cosmically what Teddington is about so I'm going to pull your drink up, and let's get to it. I think in the lead up to turning 30 many people face somewhat of a crisis of identity. But you have gone out and seen a kinesiologist I have I have so it's actually my hairdresser that suggested I seek these urologist so I got a recommendation of my girlfriend for a woman called Janelle green and truly, truly she changed my life. And we are lucky enough today on too much Telly and I'm so grateful to have genetic With us hi Janell ah now I've already been a bit teary just from seeing her face she has this beautiful effect of just you just feel like so loved and and so cared for the minute you're in her presence she has this beautiful energy about her I'm kind of sad because I have her here in the ring with us today because you'd all be feeling amazing when you walked out. Chanel took us through it. So I obviously have interviewed you before for my blog on kinesiology because so many people ask me questions like what is kinesiology? And I still cannot describe what happens when I come to say you like it's magical and I love it and I woke up feeling amazing and refocused. But what like can you please tell us for people that don't know maybe what can you geology is?

33:42
Yes, I can a theology is a really great modality. It blends Western medicine, Chinese medicine, and depending on the practitioner, a bit of hippie and we've made quite a bit of he been quite a bit of energy where it gets bought in. But the really cool thing about it is that that we can also draw back to the Western medicine side. So if you people that aren't into the spiritual side that can come in and still have a treatment with us and we can still do body work with them. So the western medicine part of Kinesiology is that we ask the body questions and the body gives us responses and how it does that is by muscle testing. And so, we believe that all emotional issues or physical issues start with some kind of energy blockage in the body. So when somebody present comes in and presents themselves, let's say they've got a sore back and they come to see us, I will ask the body what's going on with the back and the body will give me an emotional reason behind that. Then I'll ask the body for some more information. We'll sort of have a bit of a chat about it. And the body will then give me what it would like to be able to move that stagnant energy through the body, equities, some Chinese medicine, and that's where the Chinese made come in, or it could choose some of the more hippie stuff. Or it could actually give you homework like you need to go and talk to That person about that, or you need to journal about

35:02
that. There's always I always lay with homework and she checks on you. And she can tell and she can tell when you're lying as well. So be like Telly. Yeah, she but did you really go sit with your feet? And I'm like, No, no, I didn't I'm sorry. So you say when you say your body tells me and you talk to my buddy, she's actually speaking out loud. She doesn't say, Okay, tell Lisa. Like what's going on? So how do you exactly like how would you because it, it's hard to describe to describe it, especially obviously, we're on a podcast, so you guys can't see what I'm doing. But she kind of just like picks up my arm and then puts it back down and then picks it up and she's tapping into like, what exactly like how, when you say talk, like what do you mean talk?

35:42
So that's muscle testing. And I do actually say things out loud. I just say them

35:46
quiet under your breath, which also makes us crazy. She'd be like, she got one no female, female male yet right? Like push, what she What's going on? And whilst I'm doing that what's happening with you? muscle is your muscle is either locking or unlocking. And depending on how we set that up with your body, your muscle might unlock. So when I'm when I'm holding your arm up, your muscle will hold strong until it comes to an emotion word that is relevant for what we're talking about. And the muscle unlocks your arm drop. Isn't that amazing? She can tell. She literally just like do something like touched me somewhere, but you're dehydrated. I always am. And I drink nearly enough water. We drink champagne on the show, just so you know. jenelle loves a drink sometimes. It's crazy. It's insane. Like ice. It's, it's and she's so right. And, you know, other other reactions were like my stomach always rumbles and we have an argument nearly every single appointment because I'm like, it's just because I'm lying down or I've just eaten or it's because the room is really quiet and we can hear it better. And she's like, no tell you that's like all part of like your body telling me confirming what I'm saying you you know, it's all part of it. As you can hear I'm still a sceptic I obviously believe in Janell I've been saying you know, for two Now I'd be lost without her. We text all the time. You know, I've met with her I'm friends with her husband now. So when I met Eugene elder, I was in a bit of a bad way, wasn't I? Yeah. It's just yeah, I came to you a pretty emotional mess. You know, most of our appointments were just tears constantly. I was so lost. I didn't know what was going on, you know, up from down, I was convinced of all sorts of crazy things. From from then to now. Have you seen a change in me?

37:34
A massive change. One thing I want to point out to you is that that was all going on on the outside, but internally, you were you and that's why you found me to come and have your bounce. I'm getting emotional thinking. Because everything happens in perfect timing. So you you had all those recommendations to go and see kinesiologist but yet you hadn't researched one. And then I know that there were more than one person that told you about this. We a whole group of them that all of a sudden, every time you were out, people were talking about this person called you now this person called you seriously,

38:06
I go to a bar, and I'd speak to someone, and I'd mentioned, you know, and he would this, this friend of ours would pull out his hand and he'd have crystals in his pockets that, you know, had told him to be carrying around like, it was insane. So when you met me there, I was just turned 30. And you have explained this concept to me, which is why we got you on the show. That's why I wanted to talk to you today because I know, I know a little bit about it. But I'm obviously not an expert. You taught me Oh, explain to me this whole concept of Saturn returns. Can you give us a bit of a rundown on that for people that maybe aren't aware of Saturn return? Because I know that just you've just turned 30 and you your boss introduced it to you? Yes, I had a bit of a freakout July last year, which would probably be when I started to enter my Saturn return. And she was wise and beautiful. And she told me all about her experience going through it and how when she came out of it, she came out a new person. And so she said Jacqueline, you're in for a ride but Enjoy it you'll learn so much about yourself. I think it's interesting that you have just turned 30 and I'm about to turn 33 in October we're kind of at like, the opposite ends of it. But anyway, talk us through what you know, because I could I could give you my explanation, but it's not gonna do it justice.

39:14
Yeah, so one of my favourite topics to talk about because I went through Saturn returns and unlike the two of you, I didn't have anybody to guide me so it was really tumultuous, a really turbulent time in my life. And I went off the rails and as I was saying, to you know, Telly loves this line The only thing I had was a john mayer album to get me through and that was room for square so if anyone's going through that in returns room for squares is excellent. Can you can tell he's going through exactly the same time as you

39:39
you've given me an hour to listen to the homework. I've had to go home listen to neon on repeat. I'm like, Okay.

39:45
And I called it my quarter life crisis because that's what it feels like has he just sort of said yes, he didn't understand what it was like a moment in time that you know, everything was sort of a paved. So Saturn returns. That's an astrological term. And what it means is that when you were born, Saturn was placed in a certain part of your natal chart. And then when you turn 2728 29, so sort of in between that bracket, Saturn will come back to that exact same spot in your chart. So that's what's the word Saturn returns means that there's actually a lot more with this time of your life. So, within that Saturn returns time, it means every seven years, you are going to be challenged by the energy of Saturn. So that's astrological. Let's put that to the side a little bit because we can get a little bit deeper when we start to talk about the seven year cycles of life. And whether you're talking about Western medicine, whether you're talking about Chinese medicine, or whether you're talking about our Vedic teaching, which is Indian teaching, they all follow the seven year bracket. And for the first seven years of your life, it is the building blocks of the rest of your life. So if we talk About scientific and Western medicine. So when we're building our body, it's when we're building we have got a lot of brain development going on. We talk about energetically, it's when and emotionally it's when we're building our personality. It's where we're absorbing all of the emotion, from the environment from our parents, and we're learning what it means to be to be human. So that's why every single person has a different identity. It can be similar, but they've all got different identity because you've all got different experiences. And then when we talk about in an energetic sense, or in our Vedic sense, or the chakra is each chakra in the first of the seven chakras and within the first seven years of your life, it's a different development of each chakra. So you get to the age of seven, and you're like, right, this is who I am. This is the building blocks. These are my virtues. These is my values. This is what it means to be a woman. This is what it means to be a man. This is I'm getting be, and you start rocking that out. And then every seven years, you get to a moment where I call it a bit of a shed. And you go, Okay, oh, that doesn't really feel like me that feels like it. That's my programming and conditioning though the words that we use doesn't really feel like me. So as you know, you get to like 14, and a lot of kids rebel, they're like, you can't tell me what to do don't know who I am. But they don't have the maturity and they're not grounded enough, or the life experience to be able to understand what's going on there. They know it, their body knows it, and they're trying to get rid of it, but they can't really explain it mentally. Then we get to 21 and 21 is a really interesting time. 21 is a time of like, letting go of stuff that it feels so uncomfortable that you have something else lined up so that boyfriend doesn't feel like my kind of boyfriend anymore, but I'm going to have another one waiting in the wings ready to jump in. Those friends don't feel like they're my kind of friends anymore. It's cool because already I started hanging out with this gang over here that I'm going to, I'm going to leave uni and I'm going to go travel. So it's quite a time where it's still uncomfortable like you're letting go, but you're like excited because you're jumping into the new

43:14
sector.

43:16
Then we get to the age of 27. And depending remember, it's where you're where the planet has sort of set. So it's about 2728. We've got a 70 bracket then from 27, up to 35. And that is the most important time in anybody's life. It's where we

43:34
know fresher

43:36
is we step into the throat chakra. So it's all about your unique sound, and your unique identity, your unique vibration and figuring that out as well as Saturn returns and there's a lot going on in there. So the throat chakra is all about your unique sound. And sound is vibration. So it's your unique vibration. And really figuring out who you truly are not your programming and conditioning, but who you decided to be when you wanted to come to Earth. What What am I going to do here? What difference Am I going to make? What is my path? What am I lessons, what are my challenges, and really releasing and letting go all of those all of that programming conditioning as we call it, so things that aren't yours things that were your parents, or your grandparents or the teacher at school or your the bully at school, whoever, just letting go of all that. He's really uncomfortable because unlike at the age of 21, where you let go of stuff, and you quickly grasped at other things, this is a time where you let go of stuff, and you have to sit in it. So that boyfriend doesn't feel like it's my boyfriend anymore. Holy shit. Now I'm single. Those friends don't feel like they're my friends anymore. I'm really I've got nothing in common with them. It just doesn't feel right every time I'm around them. I feel a bit. I feel shitty about myself. Let them go. Whoa, I've got one friends left. Yeah, that job doesn't feel like it's my kind of job anymore. I'm gonna go and travel, I'm gonna find myself just quit a job

45:06
that was me.

45:07
Yeah, I do the same. It's a really sorry. It's a very, very uncomfortable time. But it is so important because you are letting go of all those stories that other people have told about you or taught you that you've taken on as your own and really releasing, letting go and stepping into the true version of you. So depending on how you lean into that, and how you go with that uncomfortability and you release and you allow and you don't, you know, don't go and party and try and find other vices to not feel that she's looking at me because that's

45:47
what I was trying to do. I just thought if I just kept drinking, eventually, you know, it would just go away. It would be fine. I'm just gonna keep putting my way through this. I don't understand why I'm feeling worse. Not better. That's a disaster. But that's why she smirked at me when she said that.

46:03
And I smoked because that's what I did. So I get it. And it will depend on how long it sort of last. So it could last. It could definitely last that seven years and it could be that you're setting returns comes in at 27 2008 and you push it back which is exactly what I did. It felt very uncomfortable. My intuition was off its rocker I didn't know I was intuitive until then, really. And I just pushed back with a lot of partying and a lot of a lot of work so I just worked really really hard in my corporate job. So then it came back with a vengeance at 33 bit me on the bomb and threw me so and that's what kind of as you know, happened ish mitali

46:49
so I know that you so kindly off air before, you know you said you didn't because obviously she's still you know she hasn't like deepest, darkest secrets. But I'm happy for you to you know Talk about my experience with you and my extensive setting returns. So when I came to you, they talk me through what you sort of saw in me and what you sort of identified me as as doing to try and avoid so I was definitely trying to avoid it wasn't a

47:12
Yeah, and of course you weren't because he didn't understand it. It's like, you know, when someone like you comes into my treatment room, I just see myself so I completely empathise with you I understand it more than a lot of people do because I get it. I was once in your world as well, I asked it,

47:31
but you know, that's something that I think is also really interesting about Genoa and probably why I connect with her so so great is that she comes from a PR background, she's worked in events, she really when she said she understand my job and the pressures that people don't see, you know, they think I just go to parties, it's like, Man, that stuff is draining. Just as backgrounds also in PR. So I think it's really interesting when people you know, even before when Georgie was, JJ was suggesting that you know, was maybe you know had silk scarves and and crystals and cards. She does have The crystals and cards lacking in the silk there. But I think it's interesting that you come from that background as well.

48:07
Yeah. So you know, when you came in to see me, you were classic Saturn returns. And you were classically trying to avoid that uncomfortability. I mean, you also have childhood trauma that was starting to surface up and bubble that you had masked by not feeling emotion for quite some time, you know. So, again, something I understand very, very well, because it's something I did also, you know, your vibe attracts your tribe, you attract people into your life that you've had similar experiences to so you can guide them in the right path. So yeah, watching, witnessing, you know, anxiety. So Telly had a lot of anxiety, and it would anxiety panic attacks and would be quite debilitating. migraines. Periods were all over the shop as well. friendships. Were diabolical. There was a lot going on with Telly. And it was all of her stuff surfacing and at a pretty rapid rate and wanting her to pay attention to her, because she's got much better and bigger things to be doing here on this earth and we don't have time to waste with her. So the really great thing about Telly, is that everything that would come up in her balance, and if she had homework, she did her homework and her homework sometimes was so confronting, and so pushed you to your edge with a gentleness, gentleness and checking up on her and making sure she had done her homework. But she did her homework and from the girl that walks through my door to the woman that I am waiting now I'm going to try and I don't cry, I'm gonna cry. I'm gonna be crying. So the woman that I have now is I'm very, very, very impressive. I'm very inspired by everything that she's managed to achieve and the hard work like Saturn return this time of your life is not easy deals as you would both be very well aware you quit your job. Totally you've done some really big things like things that she didn't believe in. I was like you need to

50:17
Can I say one of them? Yeah, of course. You need to write down these people that you keep on with the grave one. Oh, my garage graveyard.

50:25
I had all these friends that I had decided I was done with and it hurt my heart. I was always thinking about them. I you know, I missed them those silly fights that I'm stubborn and I can hold a grudge and I'd come in and you know, I'd want to talk them with jenelle about them and she was like, just reach out just leave and just send them a message and say you're thinking of them. And so I dig them all out of the garage graveyard. I repaired all the friendships.

50:50
Yeah, and that was very confronting. She's like, I don't want to just like you have lifted because he kept going on about it and also, those grudges and the anger in that vengefulness and you know, the resentment and everything that was sitting inside of you were sitting with you, but also, you know, energetically impacting them. So it was about releasing them letting go. So imagine that coming up in a treatment for you and then you have to get in contact with those people that you may have heard or that have hurt you. And she did it. She rocked it out. It was hard.

51:19
It was hard. I'm such a proud person and like having to admit I'm wrong or apologise. Especially when I believe that I wasn't in the wrong Yeah, that was hard. Especially cuz some of these people like took days to get back. They weren't all welcoming. I had to work at some of them. I had to you know, consistently reach out and and sticking all of branch out but I didn't but that's a great thing about setting returns, isn't it? Is that it kind of it's a mirror and it makes you get front? Yeah, things in your past and it makes you face them head on. What are some of the other things you had to do? Well, I have had a, I was madly in love with a pretty toxic person. That I was just struggling to let go of a lot of Myself worth I'd put in his hands and, you know, if if he didn't want to be with me or if he didn't care about me or if he didn't think what I was doing was appropriate, then I would leave what he said. And that's been something we've we've been working on. It's been a slow process. And I think as you know, touched on before, you know, I really had spent a lot of my childhood, not ignoring my mother's illness, but just it was just easier if I, you know, it was it was so encompassing at home, that the minute I left, you know, the door I didn't want to think about I didn't want to deal with it. It wasn't even until Big Brother so 2013 that I even spoke to my friends about it. Because I knew that, you know, I was going on this TV show, it was going to be public knowledge. And I had some of my girlfriends reach out after the show, you know, girlfriends from high school and be like, I'm so sorry, I wasn't there for you. I didn't know what was going on. So there was a lot of that a lot of guilt. You know, another I remember early on. One of the hard tasks I was given by Chanel as part of my satin returns. Healing healing. She wanted me to write a letter to my mom when she was like, okay, yes Piece of cake. Except that I, every time I'd go home to start writing it in my head, because of all the movies and you know, having a sick and dying mom, that it was going to be this beautiful note about how I miss her and how I wish she was around and how it's been really hard growing up in a family of men and feeling misunderstood, and but every time I started to write this note, it was fucking angry. It was really angry and quite resentful. And so I'd start writing and it would, it would turn angry and I and then I'd feel really guilty. And now I'm not running an angry note to my dying mother. And I just kept stopping it. And then, you know, I started a couple of times, and eventually I was like, I'm not going to write hate mouth, my mother not going to do it. And I came into CD now for next appointment and she's, uh, have you gone with your homework? And I said, she's happy gone. And I said, I mean, I started writing Something but it I'm just really angry. So I didn't want to write that to my mom. And she was like, tell you've got a lot of anger in you like you're angry. And that's okay. Like she was like, you know, you feel abandoned, you know, she she got sick when you were so young and you feel like she's just left you behind and that's okay. And I think, you know, she was like until you sort of accept that and realise that that's alright doesn't make you a bad person. You don't really get past this. So that was probably another thing I had to do. That was really hard. Yeah, and she's right. I was fucking angry. I still am angry. I still do feel abandoned. But that was a bit of a realisation that we had together as well. There's been plenty but but the good thing is and Danelle you might be able to touch on this. What happens after Saturn returns like once you come out of it at 35 we come out of it. How do we get out of this? Do you have any survival tips for Saturn returns like how the fuck do we survive this thing because I am your may say I'm just I'm in the midst of The day to day life.

55:03
I love how I've got these two girls that are like

55:10
look, as I said, it really depends on on the person and how much they push back on all of this coming up for them.

55:19
But ran about 35 shoot. You got

55:24
two years

55:26
I'm tired.

55:30
Let me tell you some. Let me tell you some good stuff. Challenges never ever stop in your life. How

55:37
was that not a good thing was about the positive

55:41
challenges as opportunities.

55:43
Wow, very positive IV Yes. challenges the opportunities, challenges help you grow. If you take these ones that are feeling really sticky and scratching on the inside and that's because these ones that are coming up because you're off path deal with ones work through them, get yourself back on path. And all the challenges that come up are ones that you place the ones that you wanted to learn from ones that you wanted to grow with. Even challenging people, relationships will come into your life, but it'll be like, Oh, this feels like it should be there. It feels like I've learned something from that. And I've also shared something with that other person intelli, you can relate to that at the moment. So people will come into your life jobs will come into your life situations will come into your life, but it will be very challenging, but you just strap on your boots and go, this feels right. It feels like I'm meant to be here. It feels like I'm meant to be learning from this instead of, you know, just as you said before, the job that you're in it probably felt scratchy and up on the inside. So it was like, how do I get out of that and go around, Tally all of the stuff that we've spoken about, you know, in this podcast, it's like that felt scratchy and icky. And I was like, I have to work through that like tragedy to get to get back on path. So challenges will never stop in your life. And the reason for that Because your growth will never stop if your challenges have stopped. It's because you're stagnant and you're not growing. You know, I'm hoping one day by the age of like, 120, you know that I don't, I'm just like basking in the glory of all the hard work. Actually, that's one thing just to mention, when you have gone through a really big challenge, and you've worked through it, it's really important to bask in the glory of all the hard work you've done, instead of feeling like you're broken and you need to, you need to be fixed. And then you like, because people can get it's called spiritual bypassing, or I just call it they just get hungry for the fix, right? And like, give me the next thing to work on. I'm broken, I need to be fixed, you know, until they kind of get addicted to that we found with with our kinesiology balances, we actually test up on the body to see when it needs to come back for another balance. And for some people that might be like, I don't need to see for six months or other people might be I need to see you in two weeks. And so for people that are really hungry for the fix, not broken and they'll be like, what do you mean that you don't have to See me for six months, I'm like, you have six months of integration, everything that just came up right now, you need to integrate into your life. And that is the most important thing about any of this kind of work is the lessons and the learnings and integrating it into your natural state, instead of it being something that you're working on constantly working on constantly. I think that's interesting as well, because when I first met, you know, when I was you know, when I when I did just turn 30 I was needing to see it pretty frequently.

58:27
You know, it was like every second week or sometimes every week at the very beginning and last time i soldier now I was in such a better headspace, you know, we were going through a global pandemic, and I think you probably were prepared for me to be a bit more rattled than I was, but I've really been okay during this whole thing and things are coming together. You know, I've got the podcast now which has been telling me to do for at least three years thanks to now she's like us that God damn throat of yours. Why don't you speaking? Share your wisdom share help people I'm like,

58:55
I don't know what to do.

58:57
But and then last time, I saw her you I had a really good bounce, I was in a really good space. She said, my energy was great. None of the toxic boys that I've had in my life came up. And when she finished and she tested my body to see what had to come into you, I think you were like 16 weeks. I was like, I was kind of sad. I was like, Oh, that's so far away what safe ages? But I think that's also I mean, correct me if I'm wrong, but is that not a testament to the fact that I'm, you know, I'm doing the work. I'm on the right path. And I'm doing okay. So yeah, as I said, she said one day, she said, No, one day, you just not going to need to come and see me. And I was like, What? How can that can't be the case? Surely not. But yeah, apparently one day you get to a point where you can get to a point where you're just friends.

59:38
So something that's really important to know about Talley. And I think this will translate across. Everybody that's going through what you two are going through at the moment is that you go through all of these experiences in your life, so you can empathise with other people, and so you can truly understand what they're going through. So So for example, we have Talley going through, you know, the history of her family and her mom's illness. And then going through Big Brother, and then being seen the way that she's been seen in the public eye. Also being a very intelligent woman being able to communicate extremely well being able to write beautifully, right. So all of these things start to working together. So when we start to get to the point where she's at in her life at the moment, and this is what I have been drumming into Telly for quite some time, it takes courage and strength, to be able to really step into your vulnerability and say, these are the things that have happened to me in my life. And now I'm going to share them with you. Because when I share my story with you, not only am I sharing advice and being able to heal you, but I'm healing myself more than I'm healing you, and that's where she's at. So with Saturn returns, it's very much about that. It's very much about Not looking back at the experiences that you've had, and being ashamed of them, or being resentful or bitter, actually seeing them as lessons and learnings and you know, I can speak very openly to say that, you know, I used to party a lot. I used to, you know, sometimes I would jump from man to man and have them treat me terribly. You know, my father passed away when I was really young, I didn't have I don't have a relationship with my sister properly. All of these things have made me me. So when someone like Telly, or another client comes into my treatment room, I can completely understand where they're at. And I can empathise with them. So that's why she is who she is that makes her who she is. It doesn't mean that's who she is right now. And she's got to make sure that she doesn't hide those things about her. And that's why this platform that you have is so important, because it's too much Telly, it's not too much. It's exactly the right amount of Telly and it's who you should be be talking about because people get it, they can put this facade on, they can have the Instagram pictures, and all that shit, but it isn't who they are. And you're actually now sharing who you truly are. But you understand what it's like to be someone who is pretending to be who they're not. So there are so many people in your space that have mental health issues that have that don't have real friends that have all of this stuff going on, but they pretend that there's nothing wrong with them because they have to have so many followers and over and tele we've spoken about this before about being a real support person for people who go through. You go through.

1:02:41
I was gonna say like f grade

1:02:43
celebrity yelling rally TV.

1:02:47
Cuz I didn't watch I didn't even know who Telly was when she came into my treatment room. It's just not my jam anymore.

1:02:52
So,

1:02:54
yeah, it's really important. Those people just get left to just try and figure their lives out and don't have any to support them, and they see all these other people that look like they're doing really well. But they're not.

1:03:05
So that's what I've always tried to do. And you've helped that I think that's there's definitely been a shift in it actually thinking back it literally coincides with when I met jenelle. And when I turned 30, I kind of just had this moment where I was, like, I'm not enjoying what I do anymore, as influencer doesn't feel right. It's scratchy. As you said before, you know, and I just said, I'm just gonna start posting what I want to post about, and I want to use my platform for things that are important to me, anxiety, you know, living with a sick parent. And I that's what I'm trying to do. And that's what I'll continue to try and do. And I hope that this podcast just acts as an extension of that and hopefully we can reach more people and I'm happy to share my trauma and cry on air that makes you guys feel less alone. So yeah, again, like, you know, you've been a huge you played a huge role in that in that change in me and that shifted me so yeah, you're a mess. I love you the best. Thanks, guys. Thanks. been amazing as always thank you making me cry. Okay hates more tears for the rest of the episode. Oh my god, switch that happens every time I see her even if I walk into a good good mood and just, she'll say something that I didn't even realise I was upset about. I she'll bring up something that I didn't even hadn't even thought about. And I'm like, why does it make me

1:04:18
so as we call it, the crying chair, I'm actually sitting in the crying chair. So it must just be the energy coming through. I know

1:04:25
that you got you're very busy in particular, but you do have two amazing physiologists that work with you at element. You've got Kelsey, you've got Nathan. I've seen him before as well because you notice how to baby little Jessica, thank you. Um, so she was a well for a bit which was really selfish, to be honest. Like, how dare you go off and have a baby and look after yourself? What about me? So I saw Nathan and he was great. He was great. And everyone's been taught with you under you

1:04:52
by Yeah, so they're all qualified kinesiologist but I type them in and I mentor them and train them in my style. So every single person here If you were to say them for a balance, it would be the same as having a balance from me.

1:05:04
And you're obviously because of the current climate, you guys are doing all your appointments via zoom, which is just as great. Does that also mean now that you're able to see more interstate clients? Because obviously not everyone listening will be from Melbourne, which is where you are based? Yes.

1:05:19
So I'm doing online training is not a new thing for us. We've been we do online treatments. We have clients overseas that we've never met in person. We have interstate clients, we have clients that travel. So it's nothing it's not new to us. It's just new to our clients that come into our treatment rooms. So yeah, something that we are having to roll out with all of our clients. We would love to have people in here and being able to give them a hug but it's just not a possibility

1:05:45
at the moment really jenelle gives the best hugs in the world. She really she's you can't tell obviously right now she's four foot and nothing she's tiny. And we don't we don't wear shoes at the practice. So she's even slightly what she couldn't even be taller if she tried and she just get Biggest how'd she squeeze you? And she's like you, she holds on to you. And that's one of the saddest things last time I saw you. We weren't hugging and I could tell you it was killing you. You were like, I just wanna I just want to touch you very hard to hug. If you're out there you're listening and you'll be considering a new theology or now you're interesting kinesiology. I cannot recommend it enough. It's it truly changed my life to no huge you truly changed my life. But yeah, it's it's definitely something worth looking into. If you are that way inclined. I honestly couldn't thank you enough for your time this morning. It means the world to me and I just I feel so good about his episode already. So thank you so much.

1:06:37
You're welcome. Enjoy the rest of your day, lady.

1:06:44
I told you she was amazing how amazing She's so nice. I just feel her energy like through Yeah, she's incredible. She's seriously changed my life. I will put down the tissues and let's like wrap this back up because I got a little bit heavy for a second. I didn't. So last night you asked a question. I did. I did. I asked my beautiful face. As I said, what are some of the biggest misconceptions about turning 30? What do you do? Do you feel pressured about owning a house being married? No. And a lot of the sentiments that came through were all very, very similar, right? It was like Groundhog Day. We're all feeling the same way. It was crazy. also kind of comforting. Yeah. So I think you know, Janell said to you that you have a higher purpose early. You know, you've been through a lot of trauma. And that's all kind of lettering up to something bigger than you, which is helping people. So I'd love to ask you a couple of the questions that came through your q&a. Okay. This is Justin here, Mr. Jeff, again, Jasmine. I love the plots of the show where I purposely left in the dark. They're real, like real surprises for me and for you guys, but mainly for me, I know, but I'd love to hear your advice for these people, because I think it's truly valuable. Okay. I love you for saying that. But just full disclosure, I'm not a professional and I'm also still not killing are having my shit together. But yeah, sure you know what? I'll give you my personal opinion. Okay shoot. Cheyenne said that life is all downhill from here. Oh my god. Absolutely not. Do you know what I feel you? I feel you I really thought the same thing maybe when I was leading up to 30 but I truly right now at 32 nearly 33 are the happiest I've ever been. I really am. mentally, emotionally. You know, I'm still single, but I don't really it's not playing me. I think and I know it probably sounds like a cliche or like a bumper sticker or Pinterest meme, but I really truly believe that life starts at 30. Right? That leads us into Maddie who wants to know, she's turning 30 in October and she doesn't know how to feel. Firstly, Maddie, are you a Libra? I'm assuming you're a Libra, in which case we are liberal buddies and congrats on your perfect staffline there really are no faults with Libras how you should feel. Honestly I just I wish I wish I could just take all the pressure off I enjoy your birthday. It is a milestone it's absolutely worth celebrating. Don't try and pretend it's not happening. don't shove it under the rug. Get your friends together. I mean, who knows where we'll be in October. Hopefully you can have more than five friends like poor Jess but celebrate it. You know, we've got 230 I think age is such a privilege growing old is a privilege. We're all lucky to still be breathing and living I think especially during this covid age, like far out to have that health. That's why celebrating alone. So I just don't think about any of the pressures. You've got so much time trust me on that one and just live it up being a liberal baby. This next one's interesting because I feel like it goes back to Saturn return and what I was saying in maybe feeling not so comfortable with the friendship group that you have and wanting to move on. So Claire said, turning 30 has me worried about making new friends. It is hard making new friends as an adult. Absolutely. You know, I moved down from Sydney when I was 26 And it was tough. It was really tough. I remember getting dressed to go out clubbing, alone. And I'd go to a bar by myself. And I Yep. And I just stand at the bar, I made friends with the DJ. And then from then on, I just go to the bar at Santa talk to him. Yeah, it's tough. I think there are some really great apps and stuff out there that went around when I was single and doing the same thing. Bumble obviously has a BFF option. And I obviously haven't used it just because at this stage in front of my circle, smaller, not bigger. But I feel like that's a really, really great initiative because everyone that app are going to be people in your position looking for the same thing. You know, they want to be making new friends, they're open to new friends. They want to be going on walks and hikes and stuff. So I think that definitely helped them Bumble BFF. It does sound cliche again, but it really is about quality and not quantity. And I would much rather have my group of five girlfriends and that be it for the rest of my life. Then have what I used to have, which is like a million trillion like in quotation marks best friends and as Chanel said, vibe attracts your tribe your vibe attracts your tribe. Jess, I hear that a lot from her and it's so true. It's so true. I think when you're in a good place mentally then you just attract the right people. Yeah, that's right. So this next question is hilarious. Mm hmm. Tom is concerned about expecting to know with Clint is look Tom I feel yeah you know if you're 30 nice to know that is and that is that is concerning. But you know, work well. We're always learning we're always growing let's not be hard on Tom. It's tough. You know, you constantly Google like where's the click you get like a diet lead diagram, but like, That's hard. Everyone looks different. And when you're in the moment and you'd start like it's hard to I mean, honour it is obviously Tom because I dated women for so long. And also I am one that should have come first probably.

But I just think that you know, as you said, previously, just we asked to learning and growing and Tom there is hope for you yet. Don't give up. I have faith in you. Keep searching. Also, just ask. Yes. Ask the question. How are they feeling? Asked I, you know, if you if you're a bit lost to say, Can you put my hand on where you want it to be? That is great advice. Okay, finally, and I don't know how you'll be able to answer this one, but hopefully you have some insight. How can someone in their 30s navigate a divorce because oh my goodness, I feel for you. I have a friend going through a separation right now. I think that carpet is really exasperated a lot of relationships. You know, I've got friends and really happy relationships, who would text me and say, can you please come and do a tan lap with me? I cannot stand to look at his face for one more second. Which is funny because of course you know, I'm at home being like I wish I had someone that I loved to be hanging out with right now. The grass is always greener guys. Just remember that. I've obviously not been through a divorce.

1:12:49
Thankfully.

1:12:52
I think that if you've made the decision to split, then that's probably the right decision. And you have to just think about the future and needing help. At the end of the day, your happiness is is the ultimate and if you're not happy and you're clearly not if you've taken those steps, then I'm proud of you because it's you've taken the harder option. I think often the right decision is the hardest decision. But you've, you've made the decision now. So one sort of quote that I always like to use is Don't look back, you're not going that way. So just keep looking forward. Keep chugging along, and I'm sure in five years time you'll you will look back and you'll realise that you know, you made the right decision. Well, that's it that's all the questions I've got for you what an episode I am drained I'm about to skull the rest of this champagne has been a few tears this episode. Oh, my goodness, I've added tissues. I'm I feel like I've had a threat therapy session. Like, do I owe you for this? Yeah, we'll send you the invoice afterwards. Right. And I'll send it right on back to you and you can pay it for me. No, it's been good. I feel good about this episode. I'm excited to share with you guys. If you've any other questions, please, please, please slide into my DMS. Too much Telly, and you can listen to his podcast on all your favourite podcast apps, Spotify, Apple podcast, wherever you listen to your podcast and I will see you next Tuesday.