- October 13, 2020
On today’s show, Tully and Jess talk all things #LifeGoals and have inspiring author, podcaster and all-round ray of sunshine, Sarah Davidson of Seize The Yay podcast on.
On today’s episode:
- Tully and Jess dissect their long-term and short-term goals
- What goals mean and how to achieve them
- How to set goals and the tools required
- Sarah Davidson talks us through the benefits of setting goals and what it means for our overall well being
This podcast is produced by BIG MEDIA COMPANY.
Tully Smyth: [00:00:00] Hello, and welcome to episode 13 of too much Tali on today's episode, we're talking about goal setting the long term, the short term, and exactly how we go about making those dreams become a reality, Jess and I talk about own life goals growing up, and then to help us learn how to work rest and play away to hashtag life goals.
We've got podcast, host, wellness, guru, lawyer turned entrepreneur and an all around business boss and Ray sunshine at Sarah Davidson. Joining us on the show. Jess, it feels like we should be drinking matcha for this episode, but let's talk about Glen and jump into it.
Jess Lucas: [00:00:35] Okay, telly, I have a question for you.
It's come up maybe three times amongst my friends and family, since we started the podcast. And I just thought I'd broach it with you. Now.
Tully Smyth: [00:00:46] This feels like a stitch up. This was like a Jess, a Jess Luca stitch. I think I want to know.
Jess Lucas: [00:00:50] I want to know the answer to it because I've been telling people, I think I know what the answer is, but I want to hear it from you.
People have been asking me and are telling me that you would make a great
Sarah Davidson: [00:01:01] bachelorette.
Tully Smyth: [00:01:03] Yeah, look, I have been told this once or twice over the years, I would love to do it. I've said that publicly. I would love, love, love to be the bachelorette. I think I would be probably the most entertaining bachelor at Australia has ever seen.
Jess Lucas: [00:01:15] Okay. So how do we go about getting you on? Do you know any
Sarah Davidson: [00:01:17] producers? Can we,
Tully Smyth: [00:01:18] I mean, I know a lot of people from the franchise, obviously I've got a lot of friends in high places there, but I just, honestly, I think that there are, there are two problems here, Jess. I think one is that unfortunately, I don't know, maybe it wasn't all in my head, but I think that I might still be considered channel nine talent because of big brother, big and channel nine, even though it's natural on channel heaven.
And then my other thought is that I am, I'm not squeaky clean enough. I think they're worried about me.
Sarah Davidson: [00:01:43] Mm.
Jess Lucas: [00:01:44] You could be that, um, the contestant. Is that, so you'd be cool to contestant. No,
Tully Smyth: [00:01:49] I'm not gonna be like, I'm the bachelor. I'm the main
Jess Lucas: [00:01:52] bachelor. The bachelor. Yeah. You're going to have men pine for you,
Tully Smyth: [00:01:54] obviously.
Sarah Davidson: [00:01:55] Could you, would you be interested in
Jess Lucas: [00:01:56] having men and women or no?
Tully Smyth: [00:01:58] Well, this is the other thing right there. Like you could be like a Tila tequila shot at love and have like 10
Sarah Davidson: [00:02:02] guys, Jen
Tully Smyth: [00:02:03] girls, both of them spot. I'm not really into girls anymore, but I mean, if, if, if I have to agree to that, to get me over the line, I'm happy to do it.
I mean, women are beautiful. I wouldn't be surprised. In fact, you know what I think I'm stuck on. I'm not stuck. I'm happy to be here. I think I'm definitely on a lesbian tick tock now. I like he knows his algorithms. And if you keep watching, say proposal videos, I don't know who would do that. That's so lame.
Um, but do you keep watching the same stuff? That's what they'll keep serving you. Yes. Yeah. I just feel like I've got a lot of lesbian stuff happening on my tick-tock fee. I don't hate it. I mean to it. It's confusing for me. It's been a while, you know, we've been locked down now for, um, 74 months, so yeah.
Who knows? Yes, I would absolutely do the bachelorette. And if we know anyone listening that can make that happen, I I'll do it for free. I'll do it for free. Um, you know, and if want me to do really, I'm happy to do it. I actually, um, speaking of. I may know someone. So the bachelorette starts tonight with Ellie and her sister, Becky.
Um, and as usual, statistically, this keeps happening to me. I have dated one of the girls. What the fuck? It always happens. I mean, reality TV now has been around for so long. It's so popular. There are so many different shows and all different kinds of topics and themes, you know, between the block and Martha Schiff.
And they're sending new ones popping up all the time. Statistically, I'm probably going to know someone on every show.
Jess Lucas: [00:03:30] I mean, Tali I'm also on dating apps and that kind of thing. And I've not come across any of them. That's never happened to me. However,
Tully Smyth: [00:03:36] my
Jess Lucas: [00:03:36] sister said that she matched with one of the guys that is on this season.
Tully Smyth: [00:03:40] Well, let's just say, do you remember me telling you that story about how I went on that date with a guy who was a smoker? And he kept getting up to leave the table and eventually I cracked it. It was like, you know what? You can start there with a cigarette. I'm going home.
Jess Lucas: [00:03:51] Um,
Sarah Davidson: [00:03:52] no, I don't remember that.
When did you tell him
Tully Smyth: [00:03:54] that story? Anyway? Hey, he's one of the suitors, so we'll see him on our TV screens tonight.
Sarah Davidson: [00:03:59] He'd be that. Sorry, producer. I'm just
Jess Lucas: [00:04:01] going to duck off. I just need a dot.
Tully Smyth: [00:04:02] He's still locking my stuff on Instagram and say, can't get that far. I won't tell my name names. I won't ruin the show, but I mean, you can figure it out.
It always tells you where each of the people are from. So there can't be that many Melbourne boys.
Jess Lucas: [00:04:14] All right. Well, I'm pumped for this. I cannot wait to see you on the bachelorette and I can't wait to hold the Fort on the podcast while you're out there doing your thing, finding love.
Sarah Davidson: [00:04:22] I will run to leave you
Tully Smyth: [00:04:24] behind.
Like you're coming with us. That would be like, that would be one of my conditions in my contract. I'd be like, yep. I'm down to do it. Only thing is I have to have space a microphone and like a bit of a studio space to record the podcast.
Jess Lucas: [00:04:37] And then maybe the guys that you don't want you kick off, you can be like, okay, well we'll filter you through to Jess.
And then they can go out into the real world if
Sarah Davidson: [00:04:44] you don't,
Tully Smyth: [00:04:44] that could work. Cause you and I have such different types. So if they're not, they may well be your time.
Sarah Davidson: [00:04:49] Yeah.
Jess Lucas: [00:04:50] I love this. Um, so the other thing to call out. Is that you and I are wearing
Tully Smyth: [00:04:56] the same thing
Sarah Davidson: [00:04:58] and not even just like black
Jess Lucas: [00:04:59] tee shirt kind of, well, you know, like a nice woolen jumper or something like legitimately the same
Tully Smyth: [00:05:04] thing.
I mean, to be fair tie day has really made a comeback in lockdown in COVID time. So, and you do wear a lot of black. I actually have a lot of Tada, but it's mainly bright colors, but now you're right. We're both rowing. They're not the same as long sleeve and short sleeve, but we're both going to take a photo.
They're both wearing black. What is it? Black, black talk with like Todd, I lives on a, yeah, I think we look cute. I like being matching. I didn't have a sister. I've never had a sister growing up. Um, I've always wanted someone to come and steal my clothes or, or my clothes will be matching with. So, you know, this is my moment to shine.
Jess Lucas: [00:05:37] Totally. Can I just tell you that I have two sisters
Sarah Davidson: [00:05:40] and that is
Jess Lucas: [00:05:40] not what you want out of them.
Sarah Davidson: [00:05:42] And that
Jess Lucas: [00:05:42] is the most painful aspect of having sisters.
Sarah Davidson: [00:05:44] So
Tully Smyth: [00:05:45] I know, but I haven't had the opportunity to be annoyed by my sister. You know, I haven't had the opportunity to be like, Hey bitch, take my top off. I haven't even worn that yet.
Jess Lucas: [00:05:53] is boiling thinking about all the times that my sister is
Tully Smyth: [00:05:56] okay in my episode. Wait, can we first just show off my new cup?
Sarah Davidson: [00:06:00] Yes. Okay
Tully Smyth: [00:06:02] guys. Um, and it has TMT on it. So the guys at half full yeah. Have given me this, gifted me, this glass with too much Tali written on it, which is so exciting. And I thought, yeah, What do you feel that Oh, you feel left out.
Okay. You're right. I'm like a quarter part of this
Jess Lucas: [00:06:18] podcast.
Sarah Davidson: [00:06:18] I mean, it's called too much telly, but I'm
Jess Lucas: [00:06:20] on it. Oh
Tully Smyth: [00:06:21] no, you're definitely at least 60%. You do all the hard work. I just show up,
Sarah Davidson: [00:06:27] we
Tully Smyth: [00:06:27] have to kick into this episode because we have a really exciting guest. That's probably waiting in the wings, so let's kick off.
Jess Lucas: [00:06:32] Brilliant. So today we're talking all things, life goals, uh, how to set them, how to identify them, um, and then maintain them and, you know, Hopefully achieve them. Um, goals change all the time. As we know, um, what we might've wanted when we were, you know, a young teenager might've changed in our twenties to now being in our thirties.
Sarah Davidson: [00:06:53] I'd love to, yeah, I'll ask you, what are some of the key life
Jess Lucas: [00:06:55] goals that you have for your own life?
Sarah Davidson: [00:06:58] Do
Tully Smyth: [00:06:58] you know what I think probably the first key life goal I had growing up was that I really wanted to go to university. And it's, it's odd because my parents weren't super pushy about that. I think a lot of people sort of feel like their parents really want him to go to university.
Study law, become a doctor. My parents were pretty easy breezy. They were like, you know, what do, what makes you happy? Uh, but I don't know. I don't know if it's growing up watching all these like high school movies where they go off to college and meet the love of their life. I don't know what it was, but I was so set on going to university.
And that became a bit harder because I started off at school at, uh, this fancy private school, um, in, in Sydney. Where it was cool to study
Sarah Davidson: [00:07:37] and it was cool to do it,
Tully Smyth: [00:07:38] you know, learn an instrument and it was cool to play sport. Um, yeah, studying and academics was taken really seriously and everyone was really serious about achieving and nailing it at school.
And then when mom got sick, And we all got pulled out of our schools and sent to local public schools suddenly, was it cool to study? And it wasn't cool to do your homework and it wasn't called to play a sport. And so suddenly my goal of going to university and doing well at school kind of became a bit.
Yeah. Cause it wasn't cool when you want to want to do well.
Sarah Davidson: [00:08:09] Um,
Tully Smyth: [00:08:10] But, yeah, that was definitely one of my very early first life goals. It just wasn't an option for me not to go to university. I was just so dead set on going to university. And so the fact that I ended up getting into my number one pick, um, which was Charles stir in Bathurst for journalism.
I mean, that was probably the, my first feeling of like, wow, okay. I've, I've achieved a life goal. Um, and then I guess since then, my key life goals, I mean, apart from just being happy and that sounds really. Maybe NAF or broad or cliche, but I decided a long time ago, probably after big brother that I would never do something for a living that didn't make me happy.
Like I don't care if I am making no money. If I'm broke on the streets, if I'm as long as I'm happy doing what I'm doing, then that's fine by me. So, um, I refuse to do anything, you know, a job or anything really that makes me unhappy. Sorry to be happy. Um, I obviously want to be sick, you know, successful and, and achieve something in life.
I, you know, I've never been a coaster, which is why I think I struggled so much with influencer stuff. Cause it feels like I'm just coasting during that kind of stuff. And that's why I love the podcast so much. Cause I'm actually, you know, feeling like I'm achieving something with my life, using my journalism degree, using those up the skill set that I've got along the way.
And then obviously there's a one, you know, a family and babies and. Um, and having a family that's always been, I mean, probably that's probably my earliest life goal. Like I wanted to have kids when I was like
Sarah Davidson: [00:09:39] five. What
Tully Smyth: [00:09:41] about you? What are some of your goals? Um,
Jess Lucas: [00:09:43] I think when I was a teenager, the biggest goal that I had for off to school was.
Living overseas and moving overseas, like,
Tully Smyth: [00:09:50] all I wanted to do is travel.
Jess Lucas: [00:09:52] Um, and so I worked, you know, three, three jobs straight out or during high school and then straight out of high school to save as much money as I could. And then to, um, I think six months after at school finished, I moved overseas and I did that whole British visa for two years kind of thing.
It was the best for years, or I can still live my life. Um, and so I always knew that that's what I wanted to do. And it's funny that you say that you wanted a family from the age of. Five, because I couldn't think of anything worse. Like, you know, if you ask my friends, my family, they'll say you don't have a maternal bone in your body.
And I say, okay, I do now. I definitely do. Like, I want a family now. And that to go. I know I don't need it right now, but I want it. Um, But yeah, back then, I couldn't think of anything worse. And then I suppose after, after I got back, I started thinking about my career and what I wanted to do. And I'm very similar to you in that.
I'm always striving for that next thing. And, you know, I want to be successful in whatever I do. And I'm not one of those people that, um, does anything kind of half ass. If I. Commit my mind to something that I want to do it really well. Um, so I also got into journalism, lack it. They told me that I write like a PR person.
So then I studied PR cause I thought I wanted to do those big events and that kind of thing. It turns out. I just maybe wanted to attend them. Um,
Tully Smyth: [00:11:11] plus one, don't worry.
Jess Lucas: [00:11:12] Thank you. Um, but yeah, I think, uh, you know, a couple of years ago I was saying this to my colleague earlier today that a couple of years ago I sat down and I, um, worked out what my next set of goals were.
And they were very much personal. Um, you know, I had different pillars of what I wanted to achieve health and wellbeing, my career, um, you know, future,
Sarah Davidson: [00:11:33] uh,
Jess Lucas: [00:11:34] Personal interest in that kind of thing. And then, so one of the biggest things that came out of that was, um, I wanted to set a goal to be interesting.
Um, so I know,
Sarah Davidson: [00:11:43] and so I know. Sorry. And what that meant was that I
Tully Smyth: [00:11:47] took a range of different like interests or like,
Sarah Davidson: [00:11:50] so that's why I, um,
Tully Smyth: [00:11:52] signed calligraphy hobbies.
Jess Lucas: [00:11:54] Yes. So that's when I started, I was already doing calligraphy before then, but I wanted to put a greater focus on that. I wanted to do my carpentry stuff and like woodworking and whatever.
I wanted to get back into basketball because I loved that when I was growing up and that excited me, um, listen to more podcasts and like educate myself a lot more. So. Yeah. I said all these goals, um, and I feel like I've achieved them now. Um,
Sarah Davidson: [00:12:15] I need, I think I need to
Jess Lucas: [00:12:16] redo some more for currently.
Tully Smyth: [00:12:19] I think it's funny because you and I, there are some parts of us that I think is so similar.
And then there are parts of us that I think is so opposite. Like, you know, I knew. During this topic today on the episode that you
Sarah Davidson: [00:12:29] would have a plan like that
Tully Smyth: [00:12:30] you would have different pillars that you would have this grand plan. And that you've probably had it for years in different forms. And I knew that it'd be a little like, Oh, you know, I had this vague idea that I, maybe one day I'll do this.
Sarah Davidson: [00:12:40] It's like
Tully Smyth: [00:12:41] I've got Pinterest boards and stuff. Like if we talk about resources and tolls, And I have a plan, but like I was thinking about it when we discussed this, this podcast topic. And I was like, I say that I don't have any plans, but then if you look at my Pinterest boards, they're kind of
Sarah Davidson: [00:12:56] individual vision boards,
Tully Smyth: [00:12:57] you know, there's a travel, one of all these amazing places around the world that I want to be before I die.
There's one called when I grow up, which is basically a wedding Pinterest board, let's be honest. Um, you know, with wedding and apartment stuff and like cute little babies and like family photographs. What cut diamond do you want? Yeah, exactly. Precisely. So it's all ready to go. When I made the guy had to send him the link to the Pinterest board and he's, he's good to go.
Um, so I guess I do goal plan. It's just very, it's more loosey goosey and you're more sort of like, you know, regimented and yeah.
Jess Lucas: [00:13:27] Do you think when you. When you're setting up Pinterest boards, because it's, it's a lot of scrolling and, you know, you've, you've come across a picture that you like in your folder, it file it in that folder and whatever.
Do you think then that like, that's your focus? Um, for that moment you put all these pictures in the board and then do you go back and look at it or does it just stay in your mind? Like how do you pull inspiration from it?
Sarah Davidson: [00:13:46] No,
Tully Smyth: [00:13:46] I definitely, definitely go back and look at it all the time. Cause it's like, it's like a collection of my favorite things.
Like it makes me so happy looking at all the different and it's inspiring, you know, like, especially at the moment, I've definitely found myself going back and sort of scrolling through my travel board because we haven't been able to travel so long. You know? I mean, if you listen to the report, it's from last night's budget, it could still be a while off yet till we can the country.
So it definitely. I definitely go back and reflect on them and, and it sort of, it blots his fire under me, like, okay. Right. Okay. Okay. If you actually want to go and you know, do a summer and grace, you're going to have to start putting money away. You're gonna have to stop maybe exercising again because I look like a couch potato right now.
I'm I'm so glad this funny films from my nipples down, that's going to be a grab, isn't it? Yeah. It's right on to social. What? Okay, so if you. If you could say you had one, what's your next big life goal? Cause I feel like you've achieved a lot. Like, you'll go seem a little more career orientated in general.
Jess Lucas: [00:14:49] Um, I think more so my, and I'm doing it now. I'm implementing it now, but it's more my wellbeing and happiness maybe. Um, and just. Focusing on what actually matters to me and not so much getting caught up in other people's business. I think I've just put a massive focus on what I want out of life and whether people fit in there on, or don't, um,
Sarah Davidson: [00:15:12] to
Jess Lucas: [00:15:12] be found out, I suppose.
But yeah, so I'm focusing on meditation, my nutrition, um, Being focused in my job and that kind of thing, I suppose, to get that success or that lifestyle that I want in the future, like a house and a family and that kind of thing. So I want to better myself now, so that when all that stuff, Tom's,
Tully Smyth: [00:15:31] you're the best version of yourself.
Sarah Davidson: [00:15:33] Yeah.
Tully Smyth: [00:15:34] Do you have ways in which you'd check in with yourself and like how you're going with achieving
Sarah Davidson: [00:15:38] all that? Yeah, well, I've got
Jess Lucas: [00:15:39] my, all my goals written down, so I check in on that and that type of thing. But, um, I mean, I suppose I also execute on things quite quickly. I think, so the basketball thing, for example, I was right, right.
How do I find a team that will have me on? And I just started Googling and I found it, I just started playing. I didn't really necessarily, you know, it's not, it wasn't with my friends. I had to make new friends to be in that team. Um, but yeah, I'd just go away and start doing things I suppose, to help it.
Rather than just sit here and
Tully Smyth: [00:16:07] do a, rather than a dreamer.
Jess Lucas: [00:16:09] Yes. Enabler.
Sarah Davidson: [00:16:10] What about you? Are you
Tully Smyth: [00:16:11] both? I can be both. I'm pretty determined. And I'm pretty headstrong. Like once I set my mind to something, it happens. Yeah. I remember when I decided I wanted to move to Melbourne after big brother, I literally met, it happened in a week.
I left my house. I had to go, we did like a sea change, like a holiday house swap. She was going through a breakup in Melbourne and wanted to move to Sydney for a bit of a change in. Scenery. I literally left all my belongings, my whole house of furniture. She basically just moved into my house. I took a bag and I was like, look, I'm going to go and give it a go.
It might not work out. So here's my whole house, like good luck. And she was like, you too. I literally moved down. I packed my car up my dog and drove 10 hours down from Sydney. And I haven't, I haven't looked back. So when I set my mind to something, it happens. Yeah. Yeah, I think pretty headstrong like that.
Jess Lucas: [00:17:02] Yeah. And I think that's a way of knowing that that goal or that thought, or idea or whatever means something to you because you would just want to actually straightaway.
Tully Smyth: [00:17:10] Yeah. Yeah.
Jess Lucas: [00:17:11] So if you're not passionate about it, you procrastinate and you put things off and you do everything else, but there's always an excuse.
So, um, so I'm really excited to get into the rest of this episode. We've got a special guest on today. Do you want to introduce her?
Tully Smyth: [00:17:23] We do so, Jess, as soon as we sat down to plan today's episode, and you suggested the subject of goals and goal setting, only one name that came to mind in terms of guests.
Sarah Davidson, ni Holloway entrepreneur sees the, a podcast host and most recently an accomplished author for years. She has both blown me away and inspired me with just how much she has achieved in her 31 years of life. There is truly nobody better to talk us through this topic. And I'm so grateful to have her on the show.
So Sarah, thank you so much for joining us on too much Tali today.
Sarah Davidson: [00:17:57] Thank you so much for having me. I'm so excited to see pie.
Tully Smyth: [00:18:01] I know it's so nice to see your face. I haven't seen you since March. I think we just figured out, um, I have bought props as I briefly just touched on you've recently become an author.
Sarah Davidson: [00:18:10] Oh gosh. It's so exciting. I haven't. Obviously Victoria is not open. Haven't seen people with it. Haven't seen it on shelves. I still feel like I printed it out at office, works for my family and that it's not an actual thing.
Tully Smyth: [00:18:22] I actually have two copies. I actually bought my own copy. And then you were so kind to send me one from yourself.
I mean, it wasn't sign, which is a bit disappointing. I'm going to have to bring it with me next time. I see you and you can sign it for me. Was that something that one of your goals, was that something that you always wanted to do?
Sarah Davidson: [00:18:38] Yeah, I think so. I think I'd had it in my system. I've always, yeah. Loved writing the part of my legal career that I did really enjoy was the writing part of it like drafting and the art of linguistics.
I've always loved languages as well. I think like long form writing in all kinds of languages, something I've always loved making art out of words, but I never really thought I had a subject matter. And so I've realized over time, that goal is kind of really unravel. Like you think you're going to have this one idea all at once, but it's really a jigsaw puzzle.
Like I knew I wanted to write a book. Then I didn't know what it was about. Then I sort of got an idea of themes and then it was only last December or last November that I in my mind had thought, okay, CCA is a concept. It probably could. Become, you know, something like written into something. And at the same time, a publisher also had obviously been thinking the same thing, which is very, very convenient and finally sort of pushed me over to actually
Jess Lucas: [00:19:30] decide that
Sarah Davidson: [00:19:32] meant to be.
Tully Smyth: [00:19:34] Why
Jess Lucas: [00:19:34] is setting goals so important to you?
Sarah Davidson: [00:19:36] Yeah, gosh, that's such a good question
Tully Smyth: [00:19:38] because you've literally written an entire book on goal setting. It's a whole book
Sarah Davidson: [00:19:42] on setting goals.
Tully Smyth: [00:19:43] Like it says work rest and play your way to hashtag life goals.
Sarah Davidson: [00:19:49] Sorry,
Tully Smyth: [00:19:50] if there's anyone that can tell us about life goals, like I think we've got, we've found the person to talk us through this.
Sarah Davidson: [00:19:55] Oh, that's so lovely. When you actually texted me about that. I was like, really? I don't really think of myself as a goal set up because I think I'd get really. I think this is why it's so important. You get so bogged down in, like, I always have to distinguish between direction and speed. I think we get really bogged down and going really fast, but you're not actually going anywhere unless you're setting overarching big goals and looking at the map all the time, we're always just like, Ooh.
And then I've realized so many times in my life, I've just been on a hamster wheel getting really distracted by productivity, but not really moving forward. So. I think goal setting is so important. I do it every year at I do. I'm a big fan. I know some people hate it, but new year's resolutions, I find like a really clarifying time to do it, but then checking in with yourself throughout the year and seeing how far you've come or how your goals have changed.
I think it's just a really nice way to make sure you're always taking stock of where you were and where you want to be. And then actually how close you are to that, and also making sure as well, but goals you might set when you totally different person or in totally different circles, Sanders, I mean, this year is such a good example that what you thought you wanted or what you thought was possible.
It changes so quickly, but I think it just allows you to make sure that you're not just passing the time that you're not just sort of passively and reactively. Just taking things that come to you, but never actually going out for the things that you actually want. Because I think a lot of us and up decades down a particular pathway, and I certainly had this where you're like, How am I even here?
How have I spent like 20 hours a day?
Tully Smyth: [00:21:27] I ain't really seen right now. I'm like sitting here sort of like just associating being like, Oh, Oh no, is that what happened?
Sarah Davidson: [00:21:34] And it definitely doesn't mean that you haven't achieved amazing things. Like you can have an amazing life without setting any goals and things can sort of come into your lap.
I think on the flip side, if you're too focused on goals and aren't flexible about them, then you miss out on even better things kind of. Falling into your lap, but I think if you don't have any idea of plans and you're not ever working towards anything at all, you risk that you just end up too far down a pathway that doesn't align with what you want, what you're good at.
You know, there's so many boxes that things need to take in life. And I think we focus on all the wrong boxes and then are like, fuck. Where am I, why am I here?
Jess Lucas: [00:22:11] And so then what are some of the key territories or pillars maybe in life that we should maybe set goals under?
Tully Smyth: [00:22:19] Ooh,
Sarah Davidson: [00:22:20] we were speaking
Tully Smyth: [00:22:21] about it before and Jess and I V I mean, I know it's going to blow your mind to hear that I'm really loosey goosey about my, like I know crazy.
I'm usually so organized. Um, but Jess blesser has like, Um, personal goals, health goals, career goals, you know, do you, have you brightened down into pillars like that? Or like, what do you, how do you sort of sort your goals out? Are they just longterm and short term or are there many other different sort of categories?
Sarah Davidson: [00:22:47] I think I started off having. Only professional goals. Like I thought that was goals. I thought your life was only career goals and like, nothing else really matters. Everything else had to build yeah. Around, like, what do you want to do? And I reckon since leaving law and having all these big revelations about life's too short to only work in die, like that's not what we're here for.
Where does joy fit in? Whereas. What is also passionate and what you're good at. And, you know, I kind of think of it as a Venn diagram. Like you have to be doing something that you're good at and something you enjoy because there are so many things we could have that we don't necessarily, like. I think I've realized more and more, that you're meant to have lots of different categories of goals, personal relationship travel, like even seriously, a smallest cleaning.
Like we will have house goals, like things we wanted out environment. And now I break down every area of my life and I've reckon. It's become that. My professional goal is, uh, probably the, the last piece of the puzzle. Like if everything else is taken care of and I've got my wellness goals and my health goals and my movement goals and all that kind of thing, sorted out work is so much easier.
Things just fall into place. Whereas if you push your professional goals first and sacrifice everything else, and there's nothing left for you to have any other goals. So it's changed dramatically where I want them sort of just thought work, work, work. I've realized. Well, human beings, not human doings to not just be, you know, our identities are not meant to be just our productive working identities.
So I have goals. In literally anything as big as have a baby at like the biggest life
Tully Smyth: [00:24:12] level, baby, have a baby for me,
Sarah Davidson: [00:24:16] for you. Yeah.
Tully Smyth: [00:24:17] For you, obviously it's about me. You and Nick would make the case cutest baby.
Sarah Davidson: [00:24:22] That's like a massive, you know, really. Uncontrollable kind of goal and a huge life goal, but then there's also small goals.
Like take out my rubbish today or like sort my recyclables, you know, there's like really small day to day ones as well.
Tully Smyth: [00:24:36] Speaking on that. So what are some of your goals you've got right now? Like, is there anything left that you haven't already achieved? Because when I look at your survey and I look at your life story, and I know, you know, obviously Europe.
You're a personal friend of mine. I'm like, what is she got left? Like, does she want her own TV show? Like what, what, what do you have right now? You know, what are some of your biggest goals right now, personally?
Sarah Davidson: [00:24:58] Yes. So good for my ego.
Tully Smyth: [00:24:59] I should talk to you more seriously. Like what, what have I not do? Like
Sarah Davidson: [00:25:05] there are many, do you know?
Honestly, one of the things that I think is the problem with how much I. Do wrap my identity up in like achieving and, and like going to the next level all the time. And that's such a type thing to do, which is of course wonderful. Like it's opened up so many doors, but the one thing I'm terrible at is I can't.
Just smell the roses. Like I'm really, really bad at pacing myself. I'm really, really bad at with Nick and I, for so long, I reckon the first two years of our business, we were just like business partners who live together. Like we're both so sad, this fight and get so much internal gratification from doing and achieving that.
Then, you know, we both don't notice that our anxiety is like, Totally consumed us or we're totally burnt out. We haven't had a date night in a year, you know, we, we don't notice it. Those things are being sacrificed in the process. So I think COVID has given me permission in like the most backwards way.
And now I'm probably the Rose colored glasses of the silver lining of wearing off a little bit. Now that has been like a hundred years, but the forced slowdown made me realize all the things I wanted wasn't achieving in terms of like, Fun and joy. And I built this whole new podcast and business and book around the idea of play.
And then I wasn't doing it at all. Like I'm so bad at practicing whatever
Tully Smyth: [00:26:26] preach that's shocking to me because you were one of the most. You know, light, like I always have fun. Winky, you always have a smile on your face, everything to me, it's like, you make it right. Rethink farm and everything play like even things that, to me, it's fucking boring.
So that's, that's really surprising to me that, to hear that you haven't, you haven't felt that suddenly, I guess, behind closed doors and away from social media, because social media, you know, is smoke and mirrors. It's not always what's going on. That's interesting to me that you've felt that way.
Sarah Davidson: [00:26:55] I think it's almost even harder when your personality is 90% bubbly.
Like I do present as such a sort of light and I genuinely am like that. I'm so excited by this things
Tully Smyth: [00:27:06] I was saying to Jess offline. Yep. When I first met you that I just, I did not trust you. Yeah. I was like, something's wrong with her? I was like, is nobody is Mary sunshine, 24 seven. Like, something's wrong.
She's too happy. She's too nice. Why? She's so nice. I just, I honestly was scared. Cool of you. I was like, nah, keep her at arms length. Not, no, not
Sarah Davidson: [00:27:26] something as well.
Tully Smyth: [00:27:27] I truly, I couldn't believe that someone would be so kind so up, so positive, so willing to help you, you know, you're always the first to put your hand up.
Um, Offer advice be there for something, you know, you're you're so, um, you've always been like that. So I find that. Yeah, I guess, yeah, it would be hard when you're sort of perceived that way all the time and in your podcasts and in your, in your work to then have the down days.
Sarah Davidson: [00:27:52] And also when you perceive yourself that way, I think I've like had a really.
Good few years of unraveling all the sort of societal expectations and worrying so much about what other people think and the comparison trap, like all those things I've become a lot better at mastering I'm like therapy is amazing. I'm broke because of therapy, but you know, well, in my mind, it's an investment in my future.
But I think because I define myself as well, so much as being such a bubbly, appreciative, like I love life. I love people, the people who are in my life, I want to love them. Like 1000000% that even then when I rest I'm like, how could high achieve at resting? Like how can I be the best at my resting self?
Like I, can't not turn things into that. And there's this really big clash, I think between my really lighthearted, happiness self, and then how much I burned myself into the ground by. You can, I always thought you could burn yourself out with negative things, like things you don't want to do and learn to say no.
And all those, you know, typical lessons in wellness, but it's actually been, the biggest revelation has been, you can have too much of a good thing. Like even things you enjoy, there's still stimulation like happy launching a book. It was the most exciting, amazing, fulfilling thing I've ever done, but it is emotionally so draining to like put your whole entire.
Brain and thoughts and life experience on paper. And I don't, I think I just don't leave enough room for myself to have any kind of fallout from those things. Cause I'm like, I'm the happy gal. Like I don't leave space for my emotions. Just catch up with me. And then my anxiety does. And I'm either it's like seeing, have a breakdown.
It's like, I'm ADA so happy. Or I'm like,
Tully Smyth: [00:29:34] It's like
Sarah Davidson: [00:29:37] anytime he talks to people who are like, gosh, she's just so happy all the time. It's like
Tully Smyth: [00:29:42] all the time. So what are some back to goal setting? What are some tips for staying on track? With reaching your goals, like, do you put reminders on your mirror? Do you have vision boards? Like how do you, how do we stay on track with these, with these goals we've set for ourselves.
Sarah Davidson: [00:29:58] Yeah. And that's really good question. Particularly relating it back to that. Needing to be that like really lighthearted, happy self all the time. Same with any goal. Like that's my personal goal is to sort of like find the right balance between exertion and rest. But I think with any goal, the overarching thing I've learnt this year is that it's.
Like two steps forward, one step back and sometimes one step forward, two steps back, no matter what direction or goal or pathway. Yeah. You're on, you have to be so gentle with yourself in getting there. And I think we're all we do that type thing of like, I need to achieve it now with such a society of instant gratification.
Like I need to, I set my goal and like, why isn't it happening tomorrow? And so I rest for one day and I'm like, why aren't I like that? Full of vitality right now. I ate my fricking broccoli yesterday. Like what is happening? I've had one night sleep, like why isn't everything falling into place. So I think, um, I am a big chapter in the book.
I don't know if you've got to it yet is called dream big, but plan small. So I think it's really, really important to have the really big goals, subtle plug. And those are the ones I write down on post it notes and like, Put up on vision boards and kind of have written down in my diary and write down my resolution list at the start of the year.
But I think we have to dream big beyond and set goals beyond our current reality. Otherwise you'd never get any further. But sometimes you dream so big that they become so overwhelming that you literally get paralyzed and you don't do anything. And I think most of us fall into that category. The bigger your dreams, the more you're like I'm never going to get there.
It's just to the jump from here to there too big. So now what I tell myself, he's like dream big, right. Things down, but plan small. So always. The only thing that I have written in my diary for like today in relation to any of my goals is what is the immediate, next one thing you can do? You can only do one thing at a time.
You can only take one step towards wherever you're going, even to start everyone who started any business or any magazine, or like the biggest institutions you see in the world. They all started from like one. Thing you can't, unless you have already a team of a hundred thousand people, you can't do anything unless you do the first thing that you need to do.
So like with matcha, for example, it was, we want to start a huge match, a global TV business, but you can't do that overnight. All you can do is just figure out how to sell one bag. And then with the podcast, it was like, how do I just record one episode? And once you figured out how to record one episode, you've probably got all the equipment and have figured out how to do 10.
But if you just figure out like, First step that you need to do. And it becomes so much easier to take action. So I have like a combination of the big dreams, but also like the job. I'm a big fan of dot points. Like the dot points of what I could do tomorrow the next day, the next day. And the more you have it around you and written down and like have triggers to remind you that that's what you're aiming for.
The easier it becomes, because it just becomes like part of your vocabulary. That's
Tully Smyth: [00:32:44] good advice. That's really good. I'm blessed. But also
Sarah Davidson: [00:32:47] in a year like this, I think we have a lot of attachment to how things are meant to look and the quotes that I always, always, always come back to is like, life doesn't always work out how you wanted it to or how you planned it too often.
It works out better. Even if you can't tell maybe that this year you've had to let go of all your attachments, it feels like a loss. But I think in the long run, there'll be something that comes out of this year where. You probably kind of table the goals that you set out to, but maybe what meant to like, you've gotta be okay with the goal.
Might not, the goal might not change the method probably will. And let go of like, if you can't achieve what you wanted to achieve this year, that's also okay. Like not every year, it was a goal setting year. Sometimes it's okay to just live and survive and stay afloat and like get changed like tele and I did this morning.
We were just like, mate, Wish out for each other. Sarah was
Tully Smyth: [00:33:33] like, Oh, we have, we feel we need it. I was like, yeah. But like, don't worry about it. Like I put makeup on for you, but like, I haven't brushed my hair. Do you want, I mean like little things, little baby steps.
Sarah Davidson: [00:33:41] I'm literally in a 40 in my Mondays. So I was like, I mean the tops fine.
Tully Smyth: [00:33:45] So I'm wearing my boots.
Sarah Davidson: [00:33:49] Thanks
Jess Lucas: [00:33:49] much for getting out for a scars,
Sarah Davidson: [00:33:51] right? Yeah. When you said one o'clock I was like, Hmm. I may not have time to
Jess Lucas: [00:33:56] ate
Sarah Davidson: [00:33:56] breakfast and wake up.
Jess Lucas: [00:33:59] So I think there's an app for, you know, in technology and that kind of thing for everything. Do you have any apps or tools that you use in maintaining your goals or is it mostly just you keep a diary type thing?
Sarah Davidson: [00:34:10] Oh, that's a good question. I haven't actually. Turn to any particular goal setting apps, if there are any around amazing I'd love to know, but I also find in the digital world, like it has absolutely democratized business and influence, and it's amazing. People can change their whole lives without spending a cent.
Like it's made life so accessible, but I think it's also the cause of a lot of anxiety and comparison and inability to slow down because you're always seeing what everyone else is doing. So I've kind of moved. My planning side of things too. I calendarize everything on my actual computer calendar, but goals, I write in a journal and I find it really nice to look back.
You can't lose those documents. Like I always look back and think, Oh, in January, these were the five things that I wanted to concentrate on in February. These are the things in March, everything was just became a complete clusterfuck. And I watch how, like, looking back, I look at how I adjusted, like, yeah, look at how the next month, what I wrote down was completely different.
It was. You use this time that you've been given to slow down and spend some more time at home? I don't think we spent more than seven days in a row at home for the last two years. Like looking back and it's, I th I like having that all in one place on paper that you can go back and look at without being on your devices and just really reflect on who you are.
And like, I think the whole taking stock thing is something none of us really make time for. And this year is the first time many people have ever had to do that in their lives, but that's when you stop and realize like, Am I where I want to be. Am I happy? Am I who? I like my, my being my best me, which sounds like so wonky, but it's true.
It's like so many people are living this life that brings them no fulfillment and it doesn't align any of the parts of them that are their gift to the world. It's, there's so much masking and putting on. Sort of other people's skin and then wondering why it doesn't feel like it fits. And now I think we're all getting a chance to unwrap that all and be like, I don't like any of this stuff.
Tully Smyth: [00:36:05] I mean, that's so true. Exactly what that's, how I felt this year. It's like, hang on. Do I even want to go back to the person I was before this? I don't know. Do I even like that person? I don't know.
Sarah Davidson: [00:36:15] Yeah.
Jess Lucas: [00:36:15] It's definitely calibrated. Not lack everyone, essentially, every single person I know has taken stock, I think, and is reassessing what is actually
Sarah Davidson: [00:36:23] truly valuable to them.
And so it's kind of like when you think of it as like, for a lot of people, the worst year you've ever had, I also think. Beautiful. New beginnings are always disguised as painful endings, the old you it's so hard to let go of all the things you thought you wanted and the things that you thought you, especially people who that's come in the form of like redundancies or stuff like that.
But yeah, it's also like the most exciting time ever. No one else. He has been able to clean the slate like this before and just be like, fuck it. I'm starting again.
Tully Smyth: [00:36:51] I got goosebumps so inspiring. I was tearing up before. Did anyone know? I was like Tara you're right.
Sarah Davidson: [00:37:02] It's a really exciting time. It's a shit time, but it's also
Tully Smyth: [00:37:06] like, they used to dismiss you.
Like, I'm actually get a little bit like sad that I can't give you a hug.
Sarah Davidson: [00:37:11] I'm like, do you know what I feel completely stifled without hugging is a love language for me. Like, it's actually a way I communicate with people and without being able to do that, I'm like,
Tully Smyth: [00:37:22] well, you should call your husband. We ain't got nobody.
Your husband and Paul, you got a dog and a husband. I got it.
Sarah Davidson: [00:37:29] Did not have an animal. I feel like I should drop pole over to her house and just have a little play date.
Tully Smyth: [00:37:33] Well, I thought about adopting one or fostering a dog, but then I thought when this goes back to normal, I'm just not home enough. It's not fair.
Sarah Davidson: [00:37:40] Maybe new Tali will be though.
Tully Smyth: [00:37:42] Maybe.
Sarah Davidson: [00:37:44] All right,
Jess Lucas: [00:37:44] Sarah, there's a chapter in your book titled. Yay. Is a staircase, not an elevator.
Sarah Davidson: [00:37:49] Are
Tully Smyth: [00:37:49] you able to talk us through
Jess Lucas: [00:37:51] that concept?
Sarah Davidson: [00:37:52] Yeah, I forgot. There was a chapter in there, like so interesting when people are reading it. They're like, I love that bit where you said this.
I'm like really, dude, I it's kind of good,
Tully Smyth: [00:38:02] but that's a direct quote from you. You're like.
Sarah Davidson: [00:38:07] Yeah, I think I'm okay. Again, coming back to that whole instant gratuity thing, like with such a society that wants things now. And we want everything to work out like straightaway. And once we change our mind and make a decision, but like, I want it to happen today.
And it's just not how it works. Like where different people at different times of our life. Yay. And our joy. And I mean like in all areas of your life and your career yeah. In your personal life, what makes you happy at any one time? What your body needs and health and wellness, like everything in your life, it's going to look different.
From one year to the next, from one month to the next and rather than, Oh, that's Paul having a nightmare. Oh, that's
Tully Smyth: [00:38:41] all right.
Sarah Davidson: [00:38:44] Rather than trying to jump to the end, I think we're always just trying to get to the end and be like, what's my purpose. Whereas I think you're a lot happier and you take a lot of the pressure off yourself when you realize it's you just.
The whole of life is unraveling. Like a staircase. You're not meant to be at the top. Otherwise, where the hell would you go next? And that's why people who often like, you know, get, they achieve their wildest dreams. They have this existential crisis of success. Cause they're like, what do I do next? Like, there's nothing.
At the end of that staircase, the point is to enjoy each step it on rebels. So I kind of say it either as like a staircase and not having to see anything except the first step or the one that you're on right now and being openminded to whatever comes next, or it's like a jigsaw puzzle, like I said, at the start.
Well, you want to see the whole picture, but if you see the whole picture, like, what the hell are you going to do next? You want to just enjoy that each time you do something that you don't like, that's a piece of the puzzle that tells you something that's just as important as finding out what you do.
Like everything you do is like giving you data and information on what you should do that what's going to make you feel the best you and it's. It's if you can't enjoy the process, you to enjoy getting to the destination. So once you start to see it. Yeah, I like that. I feel like you can really enjoy all the phases that you go through and makes sense of the shitter ones as well, because you see that there.
It's not a waste of time, like so many. Yeah. Well, you know, I look back at my legal career and like, you studied for like a decade to do a career that you lasted a minute in what a waste. And I'm like, it's exactly the opposite of that. It taught me everything I need for now, now. And the biggest thing is it taught me what I didn't want to do, which is a huge revelation.
So nothing is ever a waste of time. If you can conceive of it as like, just a step towards the next step in the staircase,
Tully Smyth: [00:40:23] because I'm not rushing to get there. It's about enjoying journey. Yeah. It's not the destination. It's the journey that matters.
Sarah Davidson: [00:40:28] Exactly. And imagine if you got to your destination, like, what would you do?
What would you actually do if everything you wanted came to you right now,
Tully Smyth: [00:40:36] you know, once you've achieved all your goals and your list, then what I think you won.
Sarah Davidson: [00:40:42] Yeah. And that's why, like, I don't ever really set like life solving goals. They're never like attached to something that could become old really quickly.
And that's why I think people who attached their happiness towards like, Things and certain monetary goals, there's actually a chance that you'll get there. And then it sort of like, well, what do I do now? You'll never be happy if you attach yourself to things like that. And you just look at Hollywood, that's an example that having all the money in the world and all the fame in the world and being out of really access anything you want, it doesn't make anybody happy.
What do they attach it to? Whereas if you, if you start to really appreciate. That your goals are more about how you feel like my goal is to feel more healthy than I do every day to have less panic attacks over the course of a year. Just sort of. Have measures of like my happiness and my emotional state, which means, and not, it's not, I'm not ever going to get there, but there's always something that you can improve on, but also that you can enjoy the process.
It's such a subtle, subtle balance between you don't want to be never happy with where you are and always got jumped into the next thing, but you also don't want to get to the next thing and then have nothing else. I think it's just like setting the kind of goals that allow you to evolve with them and then form new ones each year.
And, um, and that are attached to like, Life rather than just like things that are just Johnny, pretty things. Yeah. They, they get really old really, really quickly. And also, if you think about all of us now, like now we're at an age where you can a hundred percent look back and say to yourself, I once wished that I would be where I am now.
Like once upon a time, you wish that you would be, I have more money than you did before, or have more opportunities or have more success like yours already gotten to where you once dreamed of being. And so if that was your total dream, like you'd have nothing left. If you weren't able to enjoy that. Now you're a different person.
So now you need new goals and you need new aims and new metrics to measure. How your life is
Tully Smyth: [00:42:37] so woke. Like I just have, like, I'm speaking to Oprah, I'm like blown away. I think something that everybody, yeah, he is afraid of is the concept of failure. I mean, I know that I've, I've personally found that the risk of failure can be crippling and it can definitely stop me from going out or, or even even writing the goal on the paper.
Cause I'm like, no, that's too hard. I'm not going to get this. I won't even put it down. I mean, I can't fail if I don't. Try for it. If I don't go out for it, then I can't fail when I don't get it. Right. Have you ever failed, I know this, when you write in your book about failing forward, it's like, what's that all about?
Sarah Davidson: [00:43:12] Yeah. Oh my gosh. I've had so many failures and I think my biggest turning point was, I can't even remember who said it, but. Someone said to me, you either, we know you learn, there's no failure. Like, of course there's objective failures. Like you lose a load of money or something. Doesn't go well, and there are really binary situations where you're like an athlete and you actually fail like you actually, or whatever,
Tully Smyth: [00:43:34] like you actually can last
Sarah Davidson: [00:43:37] actually come last.
But even in those cases, I think that quote really, really guides me through. That situation that it's like, maybe not the ideal result, but there's always a lesson. There's not really a lesson out of winning. Right? You don't grow from that. You kind of achieve your expectations are exactly what you hoped.
They'd be. So you get some satisfaction. Yeah. The end, right. Whereas a failure, it's a lesson. So if you see at that fork in the road, if you see your choice as winning or learning, then both things are. Growth, neither one of them is a true backward step because like, it just gives you the resilience to get to the next thing.
And if you look at a period of your life where you didn't have any setbacks, you probably didn't become a better person in any way, like you just coast when everything's going smoothly. So I kind of think of course they have been failures, but I also see them as my biggest lessons. Yeah. I wouldn't change any of them.
And I also think that in the periods where I haven't had one, I've become really complacent and really. Steady. Like, I just haven't been able to get to them next level without some kind of adversity to face and to realize that those are, you know, um, there's another one that I really like that rejection is just redirection.
Like anytime something doesn't work, it just like re pivots you to something else, which is probably the thing you were meant to do anyway. So. Um, that doesn't mean that I don't let myself MOBE or wallow in how crappy it feels at the time. I think I'm learning a really good strategy for just adversity and challenge, particularly this year.
Just practicing the art of letting it wash over you, letting yourself have a silk for as long as you need, because if you bottle it up, it's, it's unhealthy. It's going to fester and come back out in some other weird behavior. So if you just let it, we'll show it to you and let yourself have the time that you need, but then push through and say, okay, what am I going to use?
What am I going to use this for? What is this going to forever teach me? Then it becomes a lot easier because you're like, I can bounce back. Like I can hit rock bottom, but I can bounce right back up. So I think some of our failures have been, um, quite. Disgrace, like we've lost stock off the side of a ship and we didn't have Marine insurance and we've lost it.
Hey, but money, like there's been business valleys that would clearly a
Tully Smyth: [00:45:44] fuck up the reason you cited matcher. Right? It was because you accidentally way too much of it is that like, didn't you order like stupid amount of matcha tea, oopsies, what do I do with this?
Sarah Davidson: [00:45:55] Yeah. And I was like, that's a really unhealthy amount of powder for two people.
Tully Smyth: [00:45:58] So
Sarah Davidson: [00:45:59] what am going to do with that? And, but that's the thing, right? Like all those failures are the things that make you have. Big revelations or big, exciting strategies to kind of deal with that failure. Um, so yeah, I think of it as like a really painful but healthy thing that is all mindset. Like. Don't deny yourself the right to feel pain about it, but just Kennedy does something straight after and that's everyone, everyone fails.
Everyone who has like become really successful and fulfilled, not just successful, but I think fulfilled in what they're successful in wholeheartedly. Credit most of their big jumps to some failure moment. They're the pivotal moments where they're like, yeah, I failed, but I failed forward. I didn't just use it.
You have a choice to either you use that to like,
Tully Smyth: [00:46:47] it's just so inspiring.
Sarah Davidson: [00:46:49] Well, I just think it's like damn shame. Like if one failure turned someone away from a career path, they were meant to just learn, like you're just getting a thicker skin for the next step. And if you. Interpret it as like a stop sign rather than a speedball.
That's so sad. It's like, no, you're just, it's just teaching you what you need for the next step. Like, just see it as that, see it as like the way to get your thicker skin for the next step and never let it deter you from doing. You know, from pushing through, because you ma, if it was easy, everyone would do it.
You're meant to face those kinds of like hiccups and yeah, I've started, I don't necessarily love them, but I've started to welcome those periods of discomfort, because I think they're the ones that really have made me like who I am now. What do you think the actual
Jess Lucas: [00:47:32] process of goal setting promotes in terms of actually going away and thinking about what it is that you really want out of life?
What do you think it within yourself brings out.
Sarah Davidson: [00:47:42] I think it's just a circuit breaker. Like. It's the one activity that makes you stop the doing and stuff, thinking about the doing rather than just keeping doing. And because I think once upon a time we had that anyway, like everyone did that on a Sunday, you know, one worked on a Sunday, there was like no shops open.
There was no destruction. There was nothing that you could do except sit and think and reflect. But there's no inbuilt reflection time in our lives. Like if we wanted to, we could be on and connected every single minute and be. Totally distracted by doing like, sometimes I know that I'm, I'm almost uncomfortable when I'm not stimulated.
Even though I like that's a bad state to be in that just shows that your adrenaline's like, woo. But sometimes it's easier for me to keep doing than to stop because you're just so in the momentum of doing it and it feels more like we're so accustomed to just like information and it feels weird when we're sitting at like, none of us can even wait for a bus or wait five minutes for something without like, needing to look at
Tully Smyth: [00:48:43] it's so true.
It's so that's so me. Right. And that's so I'm like, what? 15 minutes.
Sarah Davidson: [00:48:52] And like, that's why, when we all go on holiday, it takes you the first seven days to get down. It's like a come down from a drug. Adrenaline's like, that's the same thing. You have to come down from that level to be able to just enjoy being still.
And I think in that business, we miss the opportunity to really stop and like, say, is this what I want? Or what do I want? It's so. Scary to me that there are so many people who you would ask in this day and age, what do you want or what makes you happy? And they are genuinely have no idea. Like they can't answer that question because there's so much noise.
They're just like, Oh, I just do the stuff. Yeah. What I want yeah. Of this stuff. Or if I like the stuff is not even a question, but goals allow you to actually go hold on. Like where do I, they want to end up otherwise you're just. You now is going to be you tomorrow and you are next year because you're just going to keep the doing so I think it's just a really amazing occasion for us all to like put aside on purpose some time to think about us now versus us tomorrow, rather than us being that same person for the next 20 years.
And then being like, fuck, like what have I done with my life?
Tully Smyth: [00:49:58] Is it bad that when you just said, like, what do you love? I thought champagne immediately in my head, like I said, is that the way you were going with that? That's not where you were going with. That is it
Sarah Davidson: [00:50:06] absolutely where I was
Tully Smyth: [00:50:07] in pain. Um, I was loved food.
Jess Lucas: [00:50:10] am I going to do Emily and power? She said it on Instagram. The other night
Tully Smyth: [00:50:13] I've been told for years. I looked like her Lily Collins. I don't know why because. She's brunette and I'm blonde. But if we look the same, speaking of champagne though, how do you celebrate your milestones and achievements?
Sarah Davidson: [00:50:23] Oh my gosh.
Okay. This is such a topical question for me right now. It has actually been, and this is something that goal setting helped me identify that I was not celebrating. Like the gratification for me was in achieving the goal. But then I was like, fuck, I need a new one. Like, otherwise, who am I, if I don't have a goal.
So for ages like years, I just didn't celebrate anything. And then you really get to the point where you're like, well, what's the point of it then? Like, if I'm not, if I'm not going to acknowledge those wins, like what's the point of even trying to get them. So. Again, I think like I've clearly had a lot of therapy and done a lot of thinking about myself and a lot of reflecting on my behaviors to figure out ways to kind of help my brain and celebrating and stopping.
Particularly when Nick and I were in business only in the same business. Like that was the only job I had was our business together. Especially as a couple, if you're sacrificing your whole personal life for this business, and then you're not celebrating when it goes well, like then what's the point of sacrificing
Tully Smyth: [00:51:20] all your,
Sarah Davidson: [00:51:21] all your private.
Life to it. Um, we started really making an effort to celebrate every win, like every small goal that we achieved, we would stop and like, We make traditions that were our go to so that even if we couldn't think of a way to celebrate, we knew that it was signed. They gave us joy. And that's why champagne is so good that you know that because most people don't actually know what they want to
Tully Smyth: [00:51:42] fixate on that being my only life.
Sarah Davidson: [00:51:46] But like, it's so like a lot of people don't even have that. Like they genuinely don't know what gives them a feeling of celebration. And what do you guys,
Tully Smyth: [00:51:53] what do you guys do? Cause you're not a big drinker.
Sarah Davidson: [00:51:55] Not a big drinker.
Tully Smyth: [00:51:57] I mean, you were blind at your wedding blind.
Sarah Davidson: [00:52:02] That's okay. Save it all up, babe.
It's once a year, I'm
Tully Smyth: [00:52:04] still at lost the dance pool it's
Sarah Davidson: [00:52:07] you would
Tully Smyth: [00:52:07] definitely not. You were very, you
Sarah Davidson: [00:52:10] save it all up one night. Only one night, Sarah comes back.
Tully Smyth: [00:52:14] What are some of those traditions that you and Nick do to celebrate those little wins?
Sarah Davidson: [00:52:17] So
Tully Smyth: [00:52:18] we're
Sarah Davidson: [00:52:19] big foodies love a food adventure, but our biggest, like.
I think one of the reasons why we get along so well and have such a good relationship, either,
Tully Smyth: [00:52:26] both nerds,
Sarah Davidson: [00:52:28] we're both nerds. We also have stopped pretending that we aren't and that we're even 1% cool. We're the same
Tully Smyth: [00:52:35] Lego for like the last like six months, like big boy Lego, but like Lego nonetheless.
Sarah Davidson: [00:52:40] And that's his plate.
That's his joy. But, um, we. Both really prioritize your answers over things, which is really convenient as a couple, because when you put like, what's the use of traveling, if like the other person doesn't come with you, it doesn't want to go. So our big way of rewarding ourselves is travel is saving up to go on a big trip.
And that's always the yardstick of lack of cable. We're going to smash through this time and not take a day off for this. You know, a few months while I've got these projects, but we know that this is booked in for whenever and that's like big international trips or small domestic trips road trips into the country.
And Victoria, like rural trips. We love going into the country and just like going on hikes and stuff. I know you love doing the same, but why I said this was such a topical question is I had only just gotten into such a good routine of celebrating the wins and then covert one of the things I actually.
Was much more well adjusted to the slowdown than I thought I would be. And to the home time and the family time, but the travel being taken away, it sounds so first world, but just, I'd just, I'd only just learnt that cycle of like work really hard and then reward yourself. And then suddenly when we did we, when that was taken away, I haven't taken a break.
I haven't had more than two days off in 18 months because I just, what do I do? I don't have a thing that I turned to because I haven't replaced that. And I think if you don't have that default thing to do, when you rest, you sort of like, well, why would I bother resting? So you just keep working. Cause I'm like, well, I'm home.
I might as well get something done. So I've had to almost go back to square one and I kind of. I kind of recommend that everyone treats himself a little bit like a research subject and just observe and write down when you're doing things that you love. And when you forget what time it is, and the more that you see, the same thing, turn up in your lists, they're the things that are your you're playing.
Tully Smyth: [00:54:35] I'm just drinking again. So this is not,
Sarah Davidson: [00:54:38] I was like DRI
Jess Lucas: [00:54:39] love reading as well.
Tully Smyth: [00:54:40] I do, but I was thinking about when do I forget the time? Is that because of the alcohol or because I have a good time, like why hang on.
Sarah Davidson: [00:54:47] It can be both little column, a little column B, but yeah. Finding a new way to unwind because your brain is all, like, it all works on neural loops, right?
Like it's you. Trigger unwinding based on the activities that you do, but I don't have any of those at home because I haven't ever needed them. I've always just get in the car and go, or like go to a beach or we just like get an Airbnb or we'll camp. Like we've slept in a car before. And without that ability to move around, both of us have been like, we don't know how to rest and unwind without that.
So now the way to celebrate has been, um, trying to recreate like. Date night food adventures at home.
Tully Smyth: [00:55:23] Have you been having these like, and see, like you had the Ontercor lunch where they dressed up their backyard, newly renovated sort of backyard, courtyard area, and that made it look like a little Parisien restaurant and you had on Chicago at the home, you had the steak, you had the Fritz, you had some nice, I don't know, wine or something.
I remember that.
Sarah Davidson: [00:55:41] Yeah. And we had like, I don't, I'm not a big drinker, but like I've been getting into it and I wanted to spend more time on wineries to see a learning, like actually figuring out what, how to. Be a wine drinker. And so we've had, like, when we did the entrepreneur thing, we also did a 12 wine tasting from the Yarra Valley.
So we sort of like all the activities that we might have done. I've gone on a road trip to do. We've kind of made a big effort to like get out the linen and put candles and then like do a wine tasting. And we got out all the glasses and had like, you know, we try and recreate them as much as we can at home.
And it's like, you feel like a total layman. I like doing it at home, but then you realize like, That's the way, that's the way to unwind and like totally switch off.
Tully Smyth: [00:56:20] It looked amazing. I think you were the reason we, a couple weekends ago, we got the same Entrecloud at home. Do I think because you inspired us.
It looked amazing.
Sarah Davidson: [00:56:28] So good and crime, like I view I'm the same as you tell, like, I love true crime podcasts. Like I live for it. It's weird. I'm so joyful, but I'm like heavy into like serial killers.
Tully Smyth: [00:56:41] Like that's why I go. So like that. Cause you're getting like one thing she'll like Mary sunshine, but no, you put a dock onto Bailey.
It's just, it's kept for late at night with Netflix or like podcasts
Sarah Davidson: [00:56:50] and how like, how am I that person who falls asleep to like
Tully Smyth: [00:56:53] hectic zero color shuffle asleep everywhere. From what
Sarah Davidson: [00:56:56] I do, this is true. It's also genetic. I really can't help it, but I think that's actually another big leg. Salsa drink thing I've happened that's happened this year is I think the reason why I burn out all the time is because being adopted has made me so overly grateful to have every opportunity that my threshold for saying no is so much lower than the average person.
Cause I'm like, I need to make the most of everything. Like I'm so lucky to be here and it's like, A subconscious thing that I'm probably not realizing that I'm doing, but I think my inability to slow down is so based on like, I'm so grateful. Oh my God. It could have been so different.
Tully Smyth: [00:57:34] That's such a beautiful way to look at the world.
That's a good
Jess Lucas: [00:57:36] segue to the next question. What piece of advice would you give to your 21 year old self?
Sarah Davidson: [00:57:41] Oh, God, that's a big question. Um, I think Tollywood really loved my 21 year old. So she was a potty out
Tully Smyth: [00:57:49] of a Whitney. She would
Sarah Davidson: [00:57:50] always laugh. Have you met
Tully Smyth: [00:57:52] Nick yet at 21? No. Yeah. Yeah. I had
Sarah Davidson: [00:57:55] 11 years. We went together.
Oh my God. I know we met, we met when I was 17, but we started dating when I was 19, I think. But yeah, 21 year old may, I would say drink less, less boring middle of the night. Mackers runs to line my stomach. So I wouldn't be hung over the next day. Um, I think. One of the things I'm most proud of at this point in my life is I don't really regret anything.
I think my mom and our upbringing has always, really taught me that everything you do teaches you something that you need to know for the future. So while I cringe so much over that time in my life, like I was. Wearing surprise belts as skirts. And I mean, it was just the glory days, right? Like I was a host, everywhere was a fun time.
Um, and the beginnings of naked, modern relationship with definitely not classy, but obviously, you know, the end. But I would say just because obviously now this is now I'm a grandma. I'm like, just enjoy it, babe. Like, just enjoy it.
Tully Smyth: [00:59:03] Don't change the food.
Sarah Davidson: [00:59:04] Don't change a thing. Every single phase that you've gone through, you went through it at exactly the right time that you needed to.
Like, I had the best time. I think I lived overseas when I was living in Europe when I was 21, like I was having the time of my life and never remember that I went into massive debt to take all those trips and like that I slept two hours a night for like the whole of the time that I was in Europe. Like, you'll never remember.
Those things like you're never remember not making sensible decisions, but you have the best memories for the fact that you didn't. And, but if I was me now and I told myself to be sensible and like, think about my future, I wouldn't have had that like reckless, amazing time that allowed me to now be fine with it because it's like all out of my system.
So I would just say, continue to trust the process. Don't try and like, over-engineer your future. Just enjoy every stage that you're going through for what it is, which is I'm. So. Glad and feel very lucky that I did at the time. Really enjoy it. Um, don't yeah. Don't let your head stray too far into the future.
And I think I was probably, yeah, at the beginning of this at 21, but. I spent a lot of my younger years. And I think a lot of us do fighting the ways that you're different to everyone. Like I've fought my Asian identity. Like you would not believe, like there was a good period of my life where I thought I was a blonde.
Like, I don't even know how, like I've been in denial for a lot of years about like where my identity really fit well and not in, not in an angsty tormented way, but just in, in a normal way that we all. Try and suppress our differences when we were younger. And 21 I think is around the time where I started to just be like, the difference is what makes you really interesting.
The difference will make you memorable. And if you weren't to embrace it, like it's funny, you know, that's like a point of, if you address it first and confront it or something, price like no one can use it against you. So keep embracing your differences and don't. Don't lose any part of yourself to try and be like other people, because that's like the fastest way to just live in a really unhappy life.
And, um, Yeah, life will all work out exactly. As it's supposed to
Tully Smyth: [01:01:07] Sarah, you have been absolutely amazing as expected. Thank you so much for joining us on the show today. You've always been a inspiration to me personally, as I'm sure you are to many other people that have followed your journey. If we are not already following you on social media, where can we find you?
Sarah Davidson: [01:01:24] Oh, uh,
this is my problem as well. I'm like, I still monitor all of them full of Sarah, I think is the main one or, um, CCA both with lots of underscores,
Tully Smyth: [01:01:37] so much. Think about, I I've learned. Staff and I've known you for years and I'm still like,
Sarah Davidson: [01:01:41] Whoa, she's just
Tully Smyth: [01:01:42] so inspiring. She's so woke. How does she know all this stuff?
How does she speak in bumper stickers? Why is everything she's saying inspirational? How does she have this all together? Like they just drink well,
Sarah Davidson: [01:01:52] it's together, babe, but other people's quotes. I just string them all together in a really nice way. So it sounds like I made it up.
Tully Smyth: [01:01:57] I've loved having on the show and I've loved seeing your face guys.
Thank you so much for listening to too much Tali as always, you can find us on Instagram at too much Tali. You can get the podcast wherever you listen to your podcasts. And I will see you next Tuesday.