Father’s Day With Phil/
- September 1, 2020
Tully is joined by her dad, Phil Smyth, to chat about Tully’s upbringing, parenting in difficult times, life lessons, and Tully’s Big Brother experience.
On today’s show:
- Tully’s fondest memories of her dad, Phil
- Life lessons and advice
- Phil’s earliest memories of Tully
- Tully’s Big Brother experience
- Phil’s childhood and upbringing
- The learnings from parenthood
- Advice from Dads
This podcast is produced by BIG MEDIA COMPANY.
Hello and welcome to Episode Seven of too much Telly as always, we have Jess, my producer here. Hi, Jess. Hello, how are you going? Good, thanks. How you doing? I'm good before we kick things off, I'm putting on the spot here. I'm sorry, sorry, but we've had a few inquiries as to your little hinge date. Oh, okay. We're invested people are invested. They want to know what's happening. Oh, I'm sorry. Sorry to disappoint you and everyone bots. I've stopped messaging him.
I just got really sick of how's your week been? What do you get up to today, the conversation just got really dry. And I'd asked him to do the zoom day, obviously, I think two or three times, you know, not consecutively but over time and he hasn't initiated one so I kind of put it up in the bin in a bit with him on to the next one onwards and upwards. Okay, guys, so today's episode is going to be a really special one. I'm personally very excited. A lot of you guys have
been asking to get my beautiful dad feel smart on the show. And we thought since we've got Father's Day coming up this weekend, it was the perfect opportunity. So this whole episode will be dedicated to my dad, how much he means to me. Then we've got him coming on, which I am so excited about. I thought I'd have to convince him and bribing him, but he's actually kind of King. So then we have my dad joining us later on, which will be a lot of fun. Could be fun. Could be embarrassing, but either way, we'll be entertaining. I promise you. Jess, do you have your drink? I do. Let's jump into it.
Okay, so, pumpkin.
We got that. Where did this come from? I can't believe you've already picked up that my dad calls me pumpkin. He's always called me pumpkin. It used to be like sausage. But yeah, pumpkin is just I don't know. I don't think. I mean, if you've seen a photo of me as a baby, I was not a cute kid. Hey, like I had strawberry blonde hair, aka redhead red hair. I had like Michelin baby rolls. I had a lazy I had a mono brow
So maybe actually looked physically like a pumpkin. Maybe that's where it came from. We're gonna have to ask my dad right. Now let's ask him. Yeah, we will. But that's um, yeah, so I've been called pumpkin by my dad. Obviously Jess, we've got Father's Day coming up this weekend. I won't be happy with my dad because I'm stocking stateful looked at and I'm sure a lot of you guys listening maybe don't get to be with your dad this weekend either. But what I wanted to sort of touch on quickly was that, obviously, not everybody has a father figure in their life. But I think that most of us hopefully would have that sort of male role model that they've looked up to that, you know, taught them how to change a tire or change oil. So I think it's important obviously, it is cold Father's Day, but I think it's important that we celebrate all the men in our life who have maybe played a fatherly role, whether it's an uncle grandfather, an older brother, a cousin, even a friend's dad, I know that growing up, obviously with my mom being very sick. A lot of my friends growing up their mom's kind of became like my adoptive mom or like stepping mom
Member especially trying to go shopping for my 10 formal dress and mum was already quite sick so my girlfriend's mom took me so I know better than most Well, it's like, sometimes these days can be triggering and upsetting. And if you're listening and you know you do find Father's Day hard, my heart definitely goes out to you because I know how that feels. In saying that, my dad feel is the love of my life. He is my He's my first love. I'm sure he'll be my last love. He is hands down. The most amazing human being on the planet. He's an actual saint, what he has dealt with the cod he was given was not a fair one. And and he's handled it with such grace, and humility and love. As long as definitely I knew his early 40s I knew that he is.
It's funny, just I know I said this the other day, but like, I can talk about my mom's illness, quite frankly, almost cold.
I remember in Big Brother telling the story for the first time and I looked up and every single person had tears in their eyes and I was like, Oh, sorry, Fox Sorry, I forgot this is actually a really heavy sad story. Because it's just been my my love knowing for so long, you know? But then you talk about my dad. And it's much harder for me. Um, he's just so amazing. He's truly amazing. He's just been the most incredible father and I'm so lucky to have him and so when you suggested that we make this whole episode about Dad I was like apps frickin lately. Absolutely. I'm so excited to meet your dad obviously been chatting to him by email.
A wild wild Do you see now where I get it from a dairy He's so funny. I know. Like he just we were trying to explain to him that you know, some of it might be recorded. We might use clips of him to promote the episode. And I was like, Look, dad just just get like a bed bedroom like reading like shoving your face you'll be fine and he
replied saying also no lippy then
if you want to wear lipstick babe, you got read ahead and you do that you've always supported me to be exactly myself so if you want to rock a red lip for this episode, I support you wholeheartedly Go for it. But isn't that such a dad thing to say? Oh my god, the amount of I have you noticed as you get older, you start you start speaking like I'm making the worst dad jokes already and, and I say things like I'm fucking drunk. Want you to fuck spot is
when someone's driving slowly, like driving erratically or unknowingly and like pull your fucking finger out, which is such a feel Smyth site saying, Do you have anything like that you've taken from you because you're close with your dad too, right? Yes, super close with my dad.
I don't know. I don't think he has sayings. He just says really odd out of the blue things. Like what? I don't know. Well, okay. So for example, he said,
this weird thing that we do in our family where we kind of make up lyrics to songs. So
I'm sure this is a typical thing, and I'm sure a lot of other people have had the same lyrics. Yeah. So you know that. I like that old time rock and roll. Yeah, I mean, can you see it for me, Jess? No, I've got the worst voice But
dad and I and my cousin made up a whole song that was about coffee scrolls to that song. And now I can word it to you. I want you to sing it for me now. Honestly, my you can he had date my voices? Where was where's the commitment to the show? I thought you were 110% committed to the show. get someone else to sing it for you. Okay, so it's like that old time coffee scroll. That kind of icing just soothe the soul. And when I'm baking, I always lick the bowl with that old time coffee scroll. So Oh, wow. This is this is great content. This is exactly the kind of content we want for our Father's Day special. So thank you so much for sharing that with us. Oh, welcome. Um, so I thought we'd kick off the episode.
We've talking a little bit about my relationship with my dad some of my favourite memories before we get my dad to come on and talk about, I guess some more broader topics. You know, if you're maybe just tuning in for the first time, you probably need to understand that my mum was diagnosed with early onset Alzheimer's when I was 14 years old. At the time, I was the eldest. I have two younger brothers. The youngest was only nine. And before that diagnosis, my mom was, you know, the powerhouse. She did everything in the house. She was a primary caregiver. They both worked full time. But mom, you know, she was in charge of the school lunches. She did all the cooking, she did the cleaning.
That was no by no means a hands off dad. He was amazing. But it's just mom's mom's like me. I'm like, like my mother. She was a control freak. And she wanted to sort of be in charge of everything. She had all the accounts in her name, all the bills in her name. And so when mom got sick, Dad literally overnight, had to change. He had to become both mom and dad. He had to learn how to cook. I remember, at first we sort of already had the suit. We had the same two
meals like just every second night like we had bangers and mash. And we'd have like a shepherd's pie just alternated between the night because all he you know, he sort of mastered to cook. So honestly it felt like overnight. Dad had to become not only mom and dad, but also mom's full time carer. So when I say he was dealt and he had three teenage kids, so when I say he was dealt a rough Chi, I truly mean that. He lost his best friend.
He lost his best friend lost his wife. And then I had to just bring them bring us up on his own. And I don't know if anyone listening has teenagers. But we're not easy. Especially if you've done your old girl when your son You know, you're suddenly basically a single father to a 15 year old girl going through puberty. God bless him. God bless my father.
He was just incredible. He He fought
are hard to make sure that our lives remained unchanged as possible and that maybe sounds impossible because when you lose a mother to an illness and for a long time she was at home it was still very much in our faces but he did everything he could to make sure that our lives was as the same as possible. And then often men you know, like we he obviously had to stop working to take care of my mom was obviously not working so we also became a zero income household.
But you know, he still made sure we had all the latest gadgets and we had the cool clothes and he just, he did everything in his power
to make sure that our lives were as great as it could possibly be.
And it's truly a testament You know, when people meet me and they say they find out what I've been through All About My Mom and being so young and I think oh my god, like how did you do it? Like how you strong or how are you sir resilient? Everything I am, is because of my dad. Everything that I am
Everything that I have,
um, you know, I went to university and I went to Chelsea to invest and we had to live in a dorm. And that wasn't cheap living in a dorm was not cheap. But and he again he didn't have a job. I don't even know how he paid for it to be honest. But he made sure I went to uni and he made sure that I can stay on campus and
he just, he just did everything in his power, I'm sure to his detriment to make sure that the three of us kids in our lives were completely ruined. He sounds like an absolutely wonderful man and I'm really looking forward to meeting him in a couple of minutes. But what I'd love to know from you is what is your earliest favourite memory of you and your dad? You know, I have so many so many great memories we had we honestly before mom got sick. Those sort of first 15 years were just the best like they worked really, really hard. They would often around during the week. We had nannies but when they were home they made sure that was so present
With us, one of my funniest memories, and I don't know of anyone, I don't know if I remember it or I've been told it so many times and it's now become one of my memories, but we were on a family holiday in Fiji. My dad always had a full beard growing up always just a full face a beard. I didn't know him to be any different. And he thought, I guess he got hot in Fiji, I don't know. But he came out of the beer a and he had shaved off his beard was completely clean shaven. And I would have been about three at the time Scott would have been about two and he came out of the villa. And we took one look at him and ran screaming up the beach because we didn't recognise him. He's coming towards us. He's big guy. He's arms out like we hear
and rent. Sounds like Wait, wait, it's dead. Like that's not dead. That's absolutely not dead. And we also used to have this
we call it the storybook couch. And it was just like couch in our bedroom. And I said dad works late hours, but he made sure that every night when he came home, he'd sit with us, Scott one side of him made the other side of him and he he'd read to us
That was always a really special time. I always look forward to storybook time. It's probably again, a reason why I love reading so much. Um, people will be my first ever CD. It was the great soundtrack. So good. I know I love the movie. And you know what he I didn't know this until much later on in life. But he used to stand there. Wait for the SEC, say in the car and fast forward it every single and I watched that movie. It was on VHS. Yeah, I watched that movie a lot. And I didn't even know that scene existed until I was like 21. And really, I was like, wait, what, what are they doing? It was like, What do you mean and having sex in the cause? I have never seen this see before, because that would sit there and fast forward it. That's the commitment he had. I think the same year that I've got that CD he he suggested for one of our birthday parties. We always had the best birthday parties. Our parents really went above and beyond. And he's like, let's get a jukebox and have like a like a karaoke kind of grace themed party and it was his suggestion, which was just amazing.
He also Oh my god. I victoriously as kids. Do, you know, coming home I've had weeks to prepare. You know, I've been given a project weeks in advance and it's not till the night before, but I go, oh, dad. We have to make a spaceship tonight. And he'll be like, sorry. I'm like, yeah, it's due tomorrow. I have to make a whole spaceship. He made the most incredible bloody spaceship it had like lights it flushed on and off it was he spray painted it silver it it looks so legit. Like he was the best at doing my projects. until the point where he started getting personal comments on my markings it'd be like telling you daddy to crate and
ship is it that obvious? Um, probably we stayed up all night making all my time he made a spaceship for me. He made this really cool interactive board game where like you go around and you don't roll the dice go around and then you'd lift up the little like as a flat and it would have sometimes he was incredible. He used to be a huge in advertising as a copywriter.
So he used to be quite creative. He now works at Bunnings in the nursery is that not just the most dad job in the world, that's a dad job that I used to go in. I pretend I was visiting him but I was really there's this
blob of funding snag something else he used to do, which I always loved. His mom, as I said before, was definitely the one that was in charge of everything. So when a tech came to Christmases and birthdays, and she would buy all the presents, but apparently she told us when we were older that dad was really set on always buying us one from himself.
So I don't know that President was always I knew I always knew which President was it was always it was always a little bit off. You know, like Mum, mum knew exactly what I wanted, you know, she was always bang on and then dad's was like, a little bit off, but it meant so much more to me that he had gone out, you know, left work early on his lunch break and he thought, yep, this is what I'm going to buy her and so I used to love that one present moment any of the other presidents just because my dad had put so much thought into it. That's so cute because my dad has no
Do we get until we open it? Oh, my God, do you love it? Great. Thanks so much mom and dad. Got me. Yeah, well, Dad was the same except for this one president. So that present always meant a lot to me. Um, and then obviously I was very, very anxious kid. We've discussed this before. I've always had anxiety. I've always been a worrywart. And I've always been terrified of snakes. And for a good while, they're like I'm talking years. Every night before bed. I would make him go outside with me. So he could prove to me he was doing it and he would clap any sticks together to scare the snakes off there. Apparently, I was convinced we're hiding now. God, we live in suburbia in Sydney, by the way, there were no snakes anywhere near us. But every night I'd make him go out and he clapped really loudly to scare the imaginary snakes off. Yeah, so I could sleep and like not stress about it in my sleep. Like he was just so committed. And he even at one point was like, okay, right. You're terrified of snakes. Let's he had this great idea to
And get me to research them, like do a project on them. Because he figured if I knew more about them, then I would probably understand that the likelihood of him being, you know, massive pie fit like an anaconda, being in my little backyard was probably not very likely. And he's just always been really thoughtful like that, like, really. He just wants the best for us. And he always thinks of weed in interesting ways. You know, if there's a problem if we've got something going on, or someone's upsetting us, or he would always think of ways to like, help us.
He's just she's fucking amazing. Honestly, like he met a times he's, I remember as a teenager as well, like, he always said to us, I didn't care what time it is. I don't care where you are. I don't care if you told me you're at Kathy's house and actually 3am and you're at some boys house or you're in a pop drinking cruises. If you need me, call me and I will come pick you up on it. No questions asked. And that was always such a I remember feeling. I used that a couple of times. Like Dad, I'm in Sydney.
I have no money and the buses have stopped. Come get me. Yeah, please. Me and my 17 drunk friends. Yeah. But that was always I always felt very much. There would be no judgement and I felt like I never felt stuck or trapped and I think that's played a huge role in me being as the strong independent woman I am today. Yeah, no, never. I'd never set a date if I didn't feel comfortable it But no, I'm going home.
I was gonna say what other pieces of advice is your dad given you? I mean, he sounds like he's a very kind of
I don't want to say like lenient for lack of a better term isn't the right way. But he was trusting a view
to let you go out and learn on your own. But still kind of was you know, disciplined and yeah, he was really stern growing up. He was a bad cop. Mom was a good cop. We got a walloping like, I hate parents these days. Talk about how they don't smack their children. I was like, boy was I smacked
usually with like,
actually got to the point where he just pulled out the wooden spoon drawer wouldn't actually touch the wooden spoon. But here in that drawer open was enough and we just immediately start whatever the hell we were doing. And he has given me some great advice. I remember when I was very young, I had my first little crush, I had two crushes, obviously, and I couldn't pick and I came out and said to dad's Dad, you know, I've got a problem, or I need your advice or something. He was five years old, and I was like, I like two boys. And like, one's really nice, and one's really rich. And I don't know which one I should go for. And he was like, pumpkin, pumpkin. He's, like, always choose love over money always.
And that's definitely stuck with me. He also had one of his favourite sayings or bits of advice was near enough is not good enough. And he really hated when we were doing schoolwork or studying or projects and we just thought I'd that'll do he hated that mentality. He was like, you're going to do something, do it properly. Um, and then I guess sort of, you know, there's the usual
One where it's like I'm in before school races, you know, as an anxious kid, I get so worked up, I wanted to come first and I was really anxious that if I didn't come first and I was failing, or you know, I wasn't, I wasn't good enough. And he was always very much of the mentality that like, it doesn't matter if you don't win as long as you just do your best. I think that was really great advice growing up, I definitely sort of still just try and do my best. It's not always it's not always enough, but I just, I'm like, you know what, you gave it your best shot telling. That's all you can do. And, and then probably the other thing that I've noticed as I'm older, and going on dates and stuff, he they as a team made sure we had impeccable dining table etiquette and manners. Like we had to be asked to be excused from the table. We couldn't leave until everyone at the table had finished eating. We wouldn't have to put our knees on the table. If we lose our knife like our lives were over. Really? Yeah, like please thank you men as you know when we had a friend
When we're at a friend's house and we were picked up,
we have to say that thank you for having us.
Yeah, really impeccable manners. Always sort of sending thank you cards and stuff like that. So that's something that I think as an adult, I've probably really appreciated and also realise that not everyone's like that like, I'm like, Wait, what? So I'm really grateful for that too. I reckon. We have got your dad Phil waiting for us now so shall bring him in. All right, Jess. I'm going to fill up my drink and I'm going to grab a tissue box because I have a feeling I'll be needing it. Let's get my dad in.
Okay, guys, I've got a wine. I've got some tissues. My dad is here with us. Hi, data. I thought we were just talking about how you call me pumpkin. Do you remember what like, Is there a reason for that? No, it was that old porcupine Hokies call me sausages. Well, at one point, yeah, yeah. Well, is that because I looked a bit like a sausage. I was not a
big porcupine was because you're prickly. Ah, okay. Yep. Thank you so much for that. Firstly, dad, thank you so much for agreeing to do
This when I called you last week and I put the idea to you, I thought that I'd have to beg and plead. But you actually you were quite down for it. I was I am
nervous anticipation. You're gonna do great. You're gonna do great. Okay, so let's start at the beginning. What is your earliest childhood memory of me? Yes. Your birth? Yeah. Well, I'm the firstborn. For those who don't know, I'm the firstborn and the only daughter. So how is that? Do you remember? You ever finding out mom was pregnant with me? I do. I do. And somewhere in one of those 15 boxes of photographs. I was working at McCann Erickson in Sydney as a copywriter. Somebody took a photo to the photo of you when you got the news? Yes, and it pretty much encapsulates how I felt. What was it? What are you doing in the photo? Well, smiling a lot. beaming. Did mom call you How did she let you know? She called or were you guys trying? Of course. I always like to tell the story that My name is Talia. It's unisex. You guys are great. I was disruptive.
He didn't know the gender of May. But you both agreed that Talia was obviously a family name for us. And you agreed that whether I was a boy or girl, I'd always be called Tali. Yeah, I remember you saying when I was little, that mom had just had a feeling that I was ago, you would a surprise and I'm pretty sure that the ultrasound indicated that you go. And how'd you feel about that? delighted? Would you prefer to boy, are you glad you had a girl? No, no.
Did you ever wish that you had more daughters? It wouldn't have been a problem. But you know, after three we've we've sort of redress the declining population problems.
And, and and I mean, man was what 40 something when she fell pregnant with Tom, I think she was 41 right. So it was a Hey, if we want to go again. It's now Yeah, and you have someone was 41 when when Tom came along as Tom's five years younger than me and then but you are five years older than mom. So yeah, you even owe to the mother
Yeah, but that's not as critical. I understand. No tears of the egg situation. Yeah. Was it anything that you learned about yourself when you had tally?
Yeah, that I'm assuming.
Does that run in the family? Is that a smile quality? No, it's absolutely a smite is it just run the family. My mom was soaked dad is now is so good. I'm so
glad kainai between us could produce something as beautiful as Terry. That's what I learned. Okay, touching on Matt. Is there a key moment or event that you're most proud of? with you again the birth? Maybe dad made me being born can't be the best thing I've ever done. I must have made you proud all the time. Oh, no. Look, everything you've attempted and achieved have been proud of. I think one of the key moments in your public life at least Holly was when you went on to Big Brother Hill. How did you find tallies experience on the
Show and particularly when you came when Telly came off the show, you know, what was it that you said to her about her experience? I the whole show was a roller coaster. I had to watch every episode.
And towards the end, I was
cleaning out ads in the lunchroom at work to to stop getting evicted. I did an ad that said vote or this girl gets evicted. You're basically guilt tripping your co workers to spend their hard earned money to keep me in the house. Yeah, yeah. How did you feel? You know obviously we all know the story with what happened in Big Brother.
How did you feel watching that happen? Were you disappointed in me? Were you surprised? No. No, I've never been disappointed in you ever ever ever. That says a lot guys if I mean most of you listening probably know the kind of shit I pull. So that says a lot toady is amazing.
I felt sorry for you. I mean there was a lot of crying. But that's understandable given that you went into the heaven not half of the house. If everyone understands that it was divided the haves and the have nots and you will have not so your bed wasn't big enough to sleep in the door wasn't big enough to walk through and do Corrado, understandable outdoor shower we had to make work you had to had the big food from the others. What were your thoughts? Because obviously you had new Talia very well you love Talia. But you also like drew Was it hard watching that sort of unravel knowing the plays involved? No, because by then I knew you. I was aware of the foot fluid sexuality.
So knows Hey,
this is Tommy today. What do you remember the first day I bought home Steph, did you know that Steph was my girlfriend at the time? Yep. How did you know we never spoke
Because she had a shaved head. No, no.
I'm not sure whether I should be saying this, but
oh my god, darn it, then don't say that you should be saying it. Well, no, no, not from my point of view your point of view. You had a counsellor in high school. Yes, it also happened to be a close family friend.
And all of whose kids were gay, by the way. So she called me just for a heads up. So pretty much then I was aware. I was afraid that she was desecrating the sanctity of the confessional, you know, by calling you but he was a close family friend. And as I said, all her kids were gay. How did she even I didn't even have a proper girlfriend till uni. How did she know? I was, I think you were just touching up in your head and had doubts and fears. Anyway, so from from that point, I was aware, okay, and we're headed
feel about it, because I wasn't sure whether he should be telling me. I didn't raise it with you. And there was no reason to raise it with you. I think at that point you were just trying to sort it all out. So what what how did you feel about it? When I started bringing when Steph basically moved in with us for three years, it wasn't a problem. You know, I had the heads up, I was perfectly fine with that. So Steph was just the combination of what I was expecting anyway. I think it's funny. It's always been interesting to me. And it's bizarre that we're having this conversation for the first time on the podcast. But in my head and growing up, you were quite traditional, you're not so much anymore. experience and old age and family trauma has made you a lot more open minded. And understanding I think I always was, I think I just adopted an attitude to raise you to with the same principles that AI and human will rise by. That's all. So Phil, we spoke before.
You came on about the lessons tell us learn from your fathering techniques. What was your upbringing? Like? And you know, what kind of relationship Did you have with your dad? And what did you learn from your own dad? You're showing a shrink
through my mind from my point of view, a perfect upbringing. Both my parents were fair streak Yes, but fair. They were both teachers, but mom only taught
as a relief teacher. And as a result as a result, before I went to kindergarten, for real five, I went to kindergarten, three or four times from age about two, because she would drag me along, you know, so, by kindergarten, I knew how to tie bows to up buttons. I knew all the answers. I was a smartass. I didn't know that but it makes sense that you went through kindergarten four times. You therefore obviously been like mentally excelling your whole life. I went downhill from there.
No you did it and Gramps who have your parents what we called them Adi and grandpa they passed away quite young. I was probably only five. Yeah. And I remember so clearly that being the first time I ever saw you cry.
Mama told me not. Wait. I've seen it a million times since. But um, no, my mama told me not to go into the bed in your bedroom. I think you were having a nap when she told us you having a nap. But obviously I was a petulant child and went in anyway. Yeah, it's really, it's really stayed with me that moment. It was sort of the first time I I watched I realised that you were you were a human being. I've never seen you showing any kind of emotion like that before. And yeah, I just I just remember it being of your parents. I remember that being a really sort of changing moment for me where I kind of realised Okay, so dad's dad's cry to not an ogre. After all. You're not an ogre. You told me you were strict, but you know why?
I'm appreciative of that. In hindsight, right? What about, obviously, we spoke briefly before we came on the show about mom and her diagnosis. Yep, that was obviously a really terrific time for everyone in the family, you especially, um, how do you feel about sort of,
there was that moment where I kind of became, I stopped being the child and I kind of became the second adult in the fat in in your life, you know, how was that like having sort of your eldest daughter transition into sort of more of an equal and,
and that changing our relationship? I was, I was thankful.
The example I was going to give was when you insisted that we get a cat involved. That was a hot day aged care assessment team, which I should have done a long time before and when they finally came and spoke to them, you know, they said that probably she should have been in
For a year already, yep. But I think that it's so understandable and so relatable. I'm sure people listening can understand why you felt that off for so long. You know, the Aged Care assessment team for those that may not know, it's the team, you have to sort of have come over and assess somebody, and then sort of mental physical state before they're allowed to sort of get a place at a care home. Yeah, I think it's understandable that you wanted to keep her at home as long as you did. And no one. None of us held that against you at all. It sounded a bit then like he thought that you'd let us down by not having her assessed earlier. Yes, possibly.
But you don't want to admit that you're no longer capable of managing it properly. And I think until you've experienced that, like this is a imagine having a toddler but someone who has adult strength, who can open doors, who can open jars who can physically hurt you. It is
24 seven job to care for someone like that at home. It is it is not a one person job in the slightest. So for dad to have to be doing that with Mum,
just mom and him alone would have been a nightmare would have been completely exhausting and overwhelming to then have also three teenagers. I just can't even it still to this day boggles my mind how you pulled all that off dad like you were truly, truly a sight. I just I don't know how you did it. You've definitely raised a really resilient go and tele Phil which is it's really it's a privilege for us to get to work with Telly.
She's taught me a lot in the few months that I've known her. What's the best thing that she's taught you? she's taught me to shoot for the moon
and and just go for it. But she's also taught me that beauty, sensitivity kindness, consideration are not mutually exclusive.
She's all of those things.
I truly believe that you If nothing else, sort of the best character characteristic, or the best trait that you've passed down to me is my resilience. Like, no one that I know of has had harder than you and yet every day you get up and you shower and you just continue to go on with everything.
Despite the fact that your whole world is crumbling down around you. Mm hmm.
Do you have any advice for people that are maybe listening obviously, it's a tough time. It's been a really, really hot he off COVID has really thrown a spanner in the works for a lot of people. Do you have any advice for people listening?
for not giving up when everything feels too hard? Giving up isn't an option given, you know, you cope? You do your best. you compensate. When it doesn't go right. You never give up? You can't give up? You absolutely can. Well, I
I am so glad that you never gave up. Yeah. And I'm so glad that you have met that I will never give up.
And I truly, I mean, you know how much I love you. And this Father's Day is going to be hard because I can't be there with you. Yeah. But, um, I hope that people listening to this episode, I hope that this acts as sort of like a, an ode to you and how amazing you are as a person because you truly are you. You really are a saint. And I'm so lucky to have you as my dad. And I love you very, very much. YouTube Duncan.
how good a dad's sorry, good. I love you, dad. He's the buddy cutest, isn't he? Okay, so we've obviously got all the best bits of advice my dad's given me and now we're gonna throw it to you guys. As always, you guys have sent in the best bits of dad advice to too much Telly on Instagram. Jess, you've got a couple of good a few. They are so bloody
Cute and heartwarming this literally melts my heart. So I'm really really glad we're ending on this. Do you want to kick it off? Show thing, okay, so I've got not to give away or lose every part of myself to someone. It's okay to want things just for me. I really love that. I've got one that says, you have to put in the work to get the reward. Nothing in life is handed to you.
So why are they so wise? Because their dads that's the best. You're done. Okay. Started fucking Ed. I had. That's what I love that one. That one. That one. All right, got a good one. Anyway, if anyone asked what your parents do, say your dad's in jail and your mom's sister bar. I was four.
That's great. Okay, um, verbalise how you feel about your kids to them often. That's so nice because I feel like that's exactly what we're talking about kind of last week with like attachment styles and globalise and things like that. Like knowing that you'll
And knowing that your lead for that you're worthy or insightful fully Yeah. All right I would like more like these a dead jugs combined with dead advice. Life is like a roll of toilet paper. The closer to the end the quicker it rolls so soak it all up
that's so cute.
Okay, if you're upset water heals everything have a swim a shower or even cry. You'll feel better. I like that. I really like that. All right, I've got good one with work ethic is everything gets shit done. Mm hmm. Okay. Don't argue with stupid they will bring you down to their level and beat you with experience.
Okay, this honour that a guy wants to go with 500 kilometres on the clock, not 5000 kilometres.
Is that about having a low body count because I'm worried about that. I don't know what the what about that life. Fucker you want. What about this one? I didn't know that. You and I spoken about this off air and dads were both
Very strict on this. Learn to change your own tire. You want a man to help, but you shouldn't need one. I love that. That's great. I'm very sure. Okay.
Is there anything you can do about it? No, then chill. The only man who could instantly call me she was between my dad that's so nice. That's really sweet. Grow up but never grow old. He was 50 when he passed away and always a big kid.
Okay was one okay? I also was told this on by my dad. Everyone driving on the road trying to kill you. So be alert. My dad was always like, you have to drive like everybody else in the road is a fucking idiot. Yeah, that's true. Did your dad so we this is actually something we spoke offline as well about changing oil in the car.
What else changing tires. Yep. Knowing how to fix kind of basic car stuff. Yep. I was also told, I think I was told to if I was ever in trouble to yell, fire, instead of anything else because that gets the most
Okay, so if someone's following you if you just scream fire, you get them.
I don't know how like legit that is don't take my word for it. Please ladies do not be using that. That's I think that's just something else that was helping my dad. What about this? Um Don't waste your time on people who don't have time for you. That's a good one that is really good. At one hot right closer to you happy ever after. So put on your big girl pants and get out there. I love that. Putting up girl pants. All right, um, don't just accept information answers question things. Think for yourself.
Should we end on one more? Yeah, you enjoy. Wrap it up. It's nice to be nice. I mean, look, if that's not the best bit of advice I've ever heard, then I don't know what is just. It is nice to be nice, isn't it? It is nice. Let's be nice job dads this weekend. Dads, granddads, uncles, older brothers, anyone in your life that is a male role model. You know, especially during 2020, which has been
pretty awful year let's, let's take the time to remind them how much they mean to us. I agree. I'm gonna go tell my dad that I love him. I'm gonna text my dad.
Well, yes, this is an emotional episode I did warn you when you suggested getting my dad on that there would be tears. I didn't expect so many tears from my dad. But it was sweet and it was really nice to see his face here on zoom. Guys, thank you so much for tuning in. As always, you can follow us on Instagram at too much Telly. And guys, if you loving the podcast, it would mean the world to me if you shared it around. If you got a girlfriend or a friend who you think might find it relatable, it would mean the world to me if you recommended it. Otherwise, I will see you next Tuesday.